Question: How do you feel about your wife describing you as a "Good Man" in a LTR? Does it seem a little condescending to you, or is that the goal?
Background: We've been married nearly 30 years with three children, one of whom will soon be married. We're approaching an empty nest soon when the youngest goes off to college. This happens to coincide with me retiring from the military. I wanted to do what I could to facilitate this major transition for us, hence me discovering this site and others like it.
My wife and I are very close, as most military couples who endure long absences often under dangerous conditions often are. I have loved her since our first date (it took her a bit longer) and she loves me. I have no question about that.
Here's my topic. When describing me to others, my wife will typically play up my stability and reliability. Yes, I fix things around the house that are broken, mow the lawn with an almost OCD fervor, attend Church, spend time with my kids doing things we enjoy, check their homework mercilessly and insist they keep their rooms clean. I buy her flowers on all the major holidays and sometimes just because I felt like it. I have never paid a late fee on a bill. I love my puns, and my social media posts vacillate between pictures of my kids and sharing memes that I (and probably only I) find funny. I actually read (mostly) the annual prospectus on my IRA funds. In short, I'm a suburban Dad.
However, I've been successful in an inherently dangerous career, am a former moderately competent fight sport athlete, can lift way more weight than most men my age-and many younger men-at real gyms (I've never had a Planet Fitness membership, thank you). I've run multiple marathons with respectable times, worked my way through college as a bouncer, drove a motorcycle (not for a long time now, though...life insurance is way too expensive at my age) and have more than one tattoo. When I'm pissed, I've been told I can be quite intimidating. Plus, in all due modesty, I really rock a shaved head. In short, under the right circumstances, I'm kind of a badass
So, here's my first-world-problem question: would you rather the person with whom you regularly have sex think of you as a "Good Man" or "Bad Boy?" When she wants to show appreciation, if you must choose, should it be in the form of making your favorite meal or greeting you at the door in nothing but lingerie? When she imagines you, should it be Monkey Wrench or Monkey Sex?