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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Follow the below, and your relationship will improve.

The Sixteen Commandments Of Poon « Chateau Heartiste

"I. Never say ‘I Love You’ first

Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a man’s heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention, and eventually prevailing over his grudging reluctance to award his committed exclusivity. The man who gives his emotional world away too easily robs women of the satisfaction of earning his love. Though you may be in love with her, don’t say it before she has said it. Show compassionate restraint for her need to struggle toward yin fulfillment. Inspire her to take the leap for you, and she’ll return the favor a thousandfold.

II. Make her jealous

Flirt with other women in front of her. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this but jealousy excites them. The thought of you turning on another woman will arouse her sexually. No girl wants a man that no other woman wants. The partner who harnesses the gale storm of jealousy controls the direction of the relationship.

III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority

Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.

IV. Don’t play by her rules

If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. Polarity is the core of a healthy loving relationship. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable.

V. Adhere to the golden ratio

Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants.

VI. Keep her guessing

True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don’t really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight — his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate. She thrives when she has to imagine what you’re thinking about her, and withers when she knows exactly how you feel. A woman may want financial and family security, but she does not want passion security. In the same manner, when she has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when she has done you right, reward slowly. Reward her good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and she will never tire of working hard to please you.

VII. Always keep two in the kitty

Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell. A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.

VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.

IX. Connect with her emotions

Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman’s emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendevous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set her heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with her. You are ROAMING all over, taking her on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing her hand and running with her down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way.

X. Ignore her beauty

The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire. This is one reason why the greatest lotharios drown in more love than they can handle — through positive experiences with so many beautiful women they lose their awe of beauty and, in turn, their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself “she’s interesting” or “she might be worth getting to know”. Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially not a girl you aren’t ****ing. Turn off that part of your brain that wants to put them on pedestals. Further advanced training to reach this state of unawed Zen transcendence is to sleep with many MANY attractive women (try to avoid sleeping with a lot of ugly women if you don’t want to regress). Soon, a Jedi lover you will be.

XI. Be irrationally self-confident

No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more ***** than rational defeatism.

XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses

In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit. To accomplish this gravitational pull as painlessly and efficiently as possible, you must identify your natural talents and shortcomings and parcel your efforts accordingly. If you are a gifted jokester, don’t waste time and energy trying to raise your status in philosophical debate. If you write well but dance poorly, don’t kill yourself trying to expand your manly influence on the dancefloor. Your goal should be to attract women effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor. Except World of Warcraft.

XIII. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little

Touching a woman inappropriately on the first date will get you further with her than not touching her at all. Don’t let a woman’s faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known. You don’t have to be an *******, but if you have no choice, being an inconsiderate ******* beats being a polite beta, every time.

XIV. **** her good

**** her like it’s your last ****. And hers. **** her so good, so hard, so wantonly, so profligately that she is left a quivering, sparking mass of shaking flesh and sex fluids. Drain her of everything, then drain her some more. Kiss her all over, make love to her all night, and hold her close in the morning. Own her body, own her gratitude, own her love. If you don’t know how, learn to give her squirting orgasms.

XV. Maintain your state control

You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, **** tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.

XVI. Never be afraid to lose her

You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her."
 

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Adex...... This is completely stupid advice for those who aim to have a healthy, meaningful relationship. By the way replace her with him and you have the same imo stupid advice for women. I wouldnt be suprised if your cheated on or dumped..... Unless of course your wife likes being treated like crap.
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Adex...... This is completely stupid advice for those who aim to have a healthy, meaningful relationship. By the way replace her with him and you have the same imo stupid advice for women. I wouldnt be suprised if your cheated on or dumped..... Unless of course your wife likes being treated like crap.
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If you understood it, it says nothing about treating a woman like crap. Instead, it describes how NOT to put your woman on a pedestal. The two are quite different.
 

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If you understood it, it says nothing about treating a woman like crap. Instead, it describes how NOT to put your woman on a pedestal. The two are quite different.
No one should be put on a pedestal, that is unbalanced. But the above rubbish is as unbalanced in a different way, it spells out exactly how NOT to have a healthy, balanced and respectful relationship.

It encourages a power dynamic that is very limiting. It also shows a complete lack of understanding of strong women. It may well suit those that want a woman that does not have her own mind.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Little over the top. Some of it makes sense though. Probably more for dating than it is for keeping.
True. Some of the major concepts can be applied to marriage.

Namely, adhere to the 2/3 golden ratio, don't make her your priority, don't apologize too much, keep her guessing, don't play by her rules, ignore her beauty, act self confident, satisfy her sexually, maintain self control, and NEVER be afraid of losing her.

The key though is to just live by this philosophy. Never talk about it to her or to anyone in real life. Your marriage and sex life will improve.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Obviously, many women and some guys will argue it's not the right way to have a healthy relationship. Of course, women don't want to hear this kind of stuff.

However, if a man incorporated all these points in his life without his wife knowing, all she will see is a different or changed man. A man that could be seen as a challenge, of high value, more dominant, more of a leader, qualities that most or all women desire in a man. Undoubtedly, the relationship will improve.

To all the men that don't have sex, that have treated their wives the best they could and put them on a pedestal only to be treated like crap in return, this advice is for you. You don't need to go to a marriage counselor. All you need to do is change yourself into a better man, to man up. She WILL notice a change for the better and give you the respect you deserve.
 

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"I. Never say ‘I Love You’ first

Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a man’s heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention, and eventually prevailing over his grudging reluctance to award his committed exclusivity. The man who gives his emotional world away too easily robs women of the satisfaction of earning his love. Though you may be in love with her, don’t say it before she has said it. Show compassionate restraint for her need to struggle toward yin fulfillment. Inspire her to take the leap for you, and she’ll return the favor a thousandfold.
Stupid "rule". Nothing wrong with a man saying "I love you" first. Honestly, I can't remember who said it first when my husband and I were dating. But now, we both say it..and we don't keep score over who says it most often.

II. Make her jealous

Flirt with other women in front of her. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this but jealousy excites them. The thought of you turning on another woman will arouse her sexually. No girl wants a man that no other woman wants. The partner who harnesses the gale storm of jealousy controls the direction of the relationship.
If my husband flirts with another woman, or even encourages another woman to flirt with him, he would find his own way home AND he would be sleeping on the couch! Jealousy doesn't excite me. Jealousy pisses me off... and any man who feels the need to play that game can go f*ck himself.

III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority

Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.
No, I don't want the cliche "you complete me" lines... but I DO want to know he considers me his equal. And if he doesn't, he can leave. Guess what? I have an equal in my husband.

IV. Don’t play by her rules

If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. Polarity is the core of a healthy loving relationship. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable.
To a certain extent, this is true... providing the man doesn't walk all over the woman.

V. Adhere to the golden ratio

Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants.
Again, another stupid "rule"... keeping score to make sure you don't give as much as you take? Wow... idiotic idea.

VI. Keep her guessing

True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don’t really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight — his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate. She thrives when she has to imagine what you’re thinking about her, and withers when she knows exactly how you feel. A woman may want financial and family security, but she does not want passion security. In the same manner, when she has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when she has done you right, reward slowly. Reward her good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and she will never tire of working hard to please you.
No. When I ask a question, I want the answer... not some stupid evasion.

VII. Always keep two in the kitty

Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell. A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.
Oh HELL no! If my husband had someone "waiting in the wings"...f*ck that sh!t! No, if you are COMMITTED to someone, you don't have a back up plan. WTF is this bullsh!t??

VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.
No, if you screw up, you own up to your mistakes and apologize. NOT apologizing is what will piss me off. No posturing. No maneuvering. Just straight up apologize if you are wrong. Admit to it and move on. It doesn't lower value, it increases.

IX. Connect with her emotions

Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman’s emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendevous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set her heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with her. You are ROAMING all over, taking her on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing her hand and running with her down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way.
Seriously? After the bs above... THIS is allowed??? WTF??


X. Ignore her beauty

The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire. This is one reason why the greatest lotharios drown in more love than they can handle — through positive experiences with so many beautiful women they lose their awe of beauty and, in turn, their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself “she’s interesting” or “she might be worth getting to know”. Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially not a girl you aren’t ****ing. Turn off that part of your brain that wants to put them on pedestals. Further advanced training to reach this state of unawed Zen transcendence is to sleep with many MANY attractive women (try to avoid sleeping with a lot of ugly women if you don’t want to regress). Soon, a Jedi lover you will be.
Again... wtf? Have sex with many women, but don't tell them they are beautiful... and don't have sex with ugly women because that makes you lose points, basically. Sorry, the virgin was better than the experienced man. And for a HUSBAND to not compliment his WIFE on her looks? How ridiculous can this guy be??

XI. Be irrationally self-confident

No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more ***** than rational defeatism.
Sigh... this one started off pretty well... telling a man to be confident no matter what. And then it went to sh!t by comparing women to dogs, sniffing out weakness. :rolleyes:

XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses

In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit. To accomplish this gravitational pull as painlessly and efficiently as possible, you must identify your natural talents and shortcomings and parcel your efforts accordingly. If you are a gifted jokester, don’t waste time and energy trying to raise your status in philosophical debate. If you write well but dance poorly, don’t kill yourself trying to expand your manly influence on the dancefloor. Your goal should be to attract women effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor. Except World of Warcraft.
Over all, I agree with this one.... except the bold part. There are women even for the WoW men... some of them are gamers as well. ;)

XIII. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little

Touching a woman inappropriately on the first date will get you further with her than not touching her at all. Don’t let a woman’s faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known. You don’t have to be an *******, but if you have no choice, being an inconsiderate ******* beats being a polite beta, every time.
Ummm... no. If any man touched me inappropriately when I was dating, he got kicked to the curb. Respect is far more important to me.

XIV. **** her good

**** her like it’s your last ****. And hers. **** her so good, so hard, so wantonly, so profligately that she is left a quivering, sparking mass of shaking flesh and sex fluids. Drain her of everything, then drain her some more. Kiss her all over, make love to her all night, and hold her close in the morning. Own her body, own her gratitude, own her love. If you don’t know how, learn to give her squirting orgasms.
Gee, what of the women who want slow and sensuous? Oh, that's right. We women don't know what we want. :rolleyes:

XV. Maintain your state control

You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, **** tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.
At the same time... learn to recognize when she is genuine about the things she does. What you may consider a sh!t test, may be genuine, so make sure you keep that in mind as well.

XVI. Never be afraid to lose her

You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her."
True, don't be afraid to lose her... but don't live your life in such a way that you push her away because some stupid "rules" tell you that is how you should be behaving.


Some of these, I agree with... others are a load of sh!t. I would hope that a real man would be able to discern between real advice and sh!t.
 

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I disagree because those key points you mention... Have resulted in me giving the finger and leaving. I have no respect for someone who ignores my beauty, doesnt make me a priority, keeps me guessing and acts as if he isnt afraid to lose me. That wreaks of insecurity, false sense of superiority, and immaturity to me. That is a little boy not worth my time to me.

As a woman I respect a man with confidence, apologizes when he is wrong and admits to being wrong, admires my beauty, makes me a priority, respects my boundaries as well as expecting me to respect his.

Those are qualities I find admirable in a man. I guess I am a minority?
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I disagree because those key points you mention... Have resulted in me giving the finger and leaving. I have no respect for someone who ignores my beauty, doesnt make me a priority, keeps me guessing and acts as if he isnt afraid to lose me. That wreaks of insecurity, false sense of superiority, and immaturity to me. That is a little boy not worth my time to me.

As a woman I respect a man with confidence, apologizes when he is wrong and admits to being wrong, admires my beauty, makes me a priority, respects my boundaries as well as expecting me to respect his.

Those are qualities I find admirable in a man. I guess I am a minority?
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We both are, Gaia. As I pointed out when I took them point by point. ;)
 

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Little over the top. Some of it makes sense though. Probably more for dating than it is for keeping.
Chateau Heartsie is basically a handbook for young men on the dating scene.
It is the equivalent of those " dating advice " columns in women's magazines .
It is not about how to fall in love , it's about how to command respect and takes the guesswork out of how to get laid , every time , and when to move on.

It's not applicable to marriages or long term relationships.
 

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We both are, Gaia. As I pointed out when I took them point by point. ;)
Lol I didnt see that until after I posted. Great post btw and totally feel the same as you of course!
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Actually, I think a lot of the concepts are very useful in long term relationships.
A lot of the concepts? And which ones, specifically, do you think are useful in a long term relationship?
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I just named them in comment #7.
 

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I think the complete opposite and so does my big alpha man.
Same and im another with an alpha! :D
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May be okay for dating,but not in the long term.

I find it odd saying this in VI."True to their inscrutable natures.." and this in IX."Her mind is an alien world.." that the author(s) then goes on to explain exactly how women will react in given situations.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
I think the complete opposite and so does my big alpha man.
Then perhaps he's not a true alpha. Either he really doesn't believe those concepts which means he really isn't alpha.

Or he does but plays it down because he's afraid of what others on this forum will think. This in itself is not alpha-like because alphas don't give a fu$k what others think and don't need other people's approval.
 
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