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Sham - If you are still around (hopefully you put this all behind you and no longer hang around this place), but if you are. I just want to say Thank You!! What you have chronicled here is nothing short of amazing. From your ability and willingness to get this all down on "paper", with every detail, to they way you handled your situation. You are my hero.

I stumbled upon these threads last night as my wife travels a lot for work. I read for 4 hours straight till 4am, woke up at 7am and just finished (with a couple of detours).

I too am a big strong guy, although a bit more Alpha then you at the start of all this. Thankfully, I am in a loving, honest, relationship with my wife of 10 years with absolutely no major issues (famous last words, I know). I have been cheated on before, not by my wife. I play contact sports, own guns, camp, fish, I lift weights..heavy weights...drink too much some times, and when i was younger got in lots of fights. Im a guy....and I cried when I finished your story.

Im not really sure why Im posting this, I just felt a connection what you went through. Why? It's not clear to me at the moment, but I did. I just felt like saying thank you for sharing. This post should really be stickied as model template for how to handle the immediate 180 required on D-Day. If I had this knowledge 15 years ago, I definitely would have coped better with my xgfs indiscretions.

Anyway, Im going on here adding to a thread that hasnt updated in months about a story that ended a year ago.

Please, if its not too hard, set an alarm on your phone to update this with your progression every once in a while. Hope you are Red are great!!!
 

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Sham - If you are still around (hopefully you put this all behind you and no longer hang around this place), but if you are. I just want to say Thank You!! What you have chronicled here is nothing short of amazing. From your ability and willingness to get this all down on "paper", with every detail, to they way you handled your situation. You are my hero.

I stumbled upon these threads last night as my wife travels a lot for work. I read for 4 hours straight till 4am, woke up at 7am and just finished (with a couple of detours).

I too am a big strong guy, although a bit more Alpha then you at the start of all this. Thankfully, I am in a loving, honest, relationship with my wife of 10 years with absolutely no major issues (famous last words, I know). I have been cheated on before, not by my wife. I play contact sports, own guns, camp, fish, I lift weights..heavy weights...drink too much some times, and when i was younger got in lots of fights. Im a guy....and I cried when I finished your story.

Im not really sure why Im posting this, I just felt a connection what you went through. Why? It's not clear to me at the moment, but I did. I just felt like saying thank you for sharing. This post should really be stickied as model template for how to handle the immediate 180 required on D-Day. If I had this knowledge 15 years ago, I definitely would have coped better with my xgfs indiscretions.

Anyway, Im going on here adding to a thread that hasnt updated in months about a story that ended a year ago.

Please, if its not too hard, set an alarm on your phone to update this with your progression every once in a while. Hope you are Red are great!!!
Did you read his thread in the CWI forum?

He's truly a legendary TAM personae.



Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
 

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Did you read his thread in the CWI forum?

He's truly a legendary TAM personae.
I did. Thats where I started last night. Was like watching the most gut wrenching moving for 12 hours straight...had to keep reminding myself it was real. "Panties came back positive for semen. Have a great weekend folks." I thought I was going to puke. Gut wrenching.
 

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Did you read his thread in the CWI forum?

He's truly a legendary TAM personae.
yes, he is one of those awesome contributors whose full Odyssey is recorded in TAM from the finding to the move on phase, many users find solace and strength in these stories to do what is best for them seeing how others before them were able to do it, despite how hurtful, difficult and heartbroking was and now they are in a much better place in their life, there are alos others similar stories as: Badblood, Oldsmitten, morituri, Ing. I am sure there are others like them but many decided to delete their threads when they moved on, but still this is the proof that this kind of forums are a useful support system for people going throug this unfortunatly experiences in their lives and also leave hope for others that are beginning they our painful journey.
 

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I just read the whole Shamwow saga from the beginning.

My intuition kept making me feel like the wife had bifurcated her identity in ways that were abnormal and unsettling to my body. Shamwow makes repeated reference to her detachment. He also mentions her sometimes seemingly unreal ability to not acknowledge her actions, and also her inability to emotionally contextualize her behaviors in a way one would expect from the typical human being.

I didn't read every single post (I read 99% of Shamwow's posts), but I didn't see anybody mention the possibility of the wife experiencing multiple personality disorder / dissociative identity disorder.

My suspicions picked up steam when I read that his wife has epilepsy. She had not experienced a seizure in 15 years, which coincidentally occurred at the same time as the breakdown of her identity and the dissolution of the world she had been living in up until that point.

The sexual nature of her acting out and the emotional detachment from the situation leads me to suspect that she may have been sexually and/or physically abused as a child.

"The Epilepsy Foundation explains that sexual or physical abuse is the leading cause of psychogenic seizures, where the abuse occurred during childhood."

There are numerous references in the medical literature relating multiple personality disorder / dissociative identity disorder / split personalities to physical or sexual abuse in childhood.


Here are some examples of the kind of material that's out there:

Dual Personality Associated With Epilepsy
JAMA Network | JAMA Neurology | Dual Personality Associated With Epilepsy
"Two individuals with well-defined seizure problems developed dual personalities. One personality was irritable and hostile, the other placid; in each case, a major seizure preceded the shift from the former to the latter. Each personality was amnesic for the other. The incidence of seizures in patients with multiple personality disorder is higher than expected, and these cases demonstrate a direct relationship."

Medscape: Medscape Access
"Dissociation is the disruption of the normal integrative processes of consciousness, perception, memory, and identity that define selfhood.

Dissociative identity disorder is increasingly understood as a complex and chronic posttraumatic psychopathology closely related to severe, particularly early, child abuse. Children who have been maltreated or abused are at risk for experiencing a host of mental health problems, including dissociative identity disorder.[1] This condition manifests with an emergence of 2 or more personality states including auditory hallucinations, severe depression and suicidality, phobic anxiety, somatization, substance abuse, and borderline features that partially or fully predominate the psychologic function of the individual for a period."

Multiple personality and related dissociative phenomena in patients with temporal lobe epilepsy
PsychiatryOnline | American Journal of Psychiatry | Multiple personality and related dissociative phenomena in patients with temporal lobe epilepsy


"...because this disorder is believed to be triggered by physical or sexual abuse in childhood. Young children have a pronounced ability to dissociate and it is believed that those who are abused may learn to use dissociation as a defense. In effect, the child slips into a state of mind in which it seems that the abuse is not really occurring to him or her, but to somebody else. In time, such a child may begin to emotionally and cognitively split into alternate identities. Research has shown that the average age for the initial development of alters is 5.9 years old."

From rainn.org:
"While the causes of DID are not entirely known, it is believed that the disorder stems from physical or sexual abuse in childhood. It is believed that children develop this disorder when during abusive situations they slip into dissociative states in order to remove themselves from the situation. If the abuse continues over time, it is believed that children may then begin to split into alter identities during these times of dissociation."


Of course I could be completely wrong here. Something to think about perhaps.
 
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