[gbrad]

I thought about this this morning and wanted to ask everyone here. Someone in another thread I was commenting on made a statement about an attractive scale number.

I have stated before that I am not physically attracted to my wife.
If given the option between two women/men who had very similar personalities, ideals, and beliefs, would you rather be with someone (long term relationship, marriage) who was really good in bed and you had sex often with (often by your own standards) but is a 5 or with someone who is just okay in bed and you only have sex occasionally (by your own standards) but is closer to an 8?

I know it is hypothetical, but this is the question I have in my head quite often.

 

[underwater2010]

The 5. I would rather have love and frequent sex, Then a 10. Remember looks fade.

 

[gbrad]

The 5. I would rather have love and frequent sex, Then a 10. Remember looks fade.

But what if they have similar personalities. If that is the case, you have the love in both situations. It comes down to the sex vs. looks.

 

[unbelievable]

Every woman is beautiful if that's the way her man chooses to see her. Every woman is great in bed if that's the way her man perceives her. Likewise, the sexiest woman alive could be ugly if her man chooses to see her so.

 

[underwater2010]

SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!! It boils down to feeling wanted. Ask any man that has a woman withholding sex.

 

[gbrad]

Every woman is beautiful if that's the way her man chooses to see her. Every woman is great in bed if that's the way her man perceives her. Likewise, the sexiest woman alive could be ugly if her man chooses to see her so.

Yes, if you take the personality into account when judging how attracted you are to someone. But what about that glance across the room and first look at someone when you don't know them. That perception of looks is what I am talking about.
Yes, in a marriage we all know about the feelings and love and how all of that impacts perception. That is not what I am talking about.

 

[gbrad]

SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!! It boils down to feeling wanted. Ask any man that has a woman withholding sex.

yes, witholding sex does happen. But in this situation there would still be some sex, just a little less often as one would like.

 

[caroaustini]

Ask any man that has a woman withholding sex.

 

[gbrad]

Ask any man that has a woman withholding sex.

In this scenario I never said anything about witholding sex. Just that sex doesn't happen as often. To me, there is a difference.

 

[that_girl]

I don't understand the question. I guess because it's hypothetical...

But, I may find someone a 5, but to someone else he'd be a 10. Or the other way around. I think my husband is a 10 and he's amazing in bed...but to someone else it could be not so.

Your wife will be a 10 to someone. Appreciate her or not, but wow...do you even want to be married?

 

[livnlearn]

I don't understand the question. I guess because it's hypothetical...

But, I may find someone a 5, but to someone else he'd be a 10. Or the other way around. I think my husband is a 10 and he's amazing in bed...but to someone else it could be not so.

Your wife will be a 10 to someone. Appreciate her or not, but wow...do you even want to be married?

I think it's pretty apparent from all his posts that he doesn't. Definitely a glass is half empty type of person.

 

[gbrad]

I don't understand the question. I guess because it's hypothetical...

But, I may find someone a 5, but to someone else he'd be a 10. Or the other way around. I think my husband is a 10 and he's amazing in bed...but to someone else it could be not so.

Your wife will be a 10 to someone. Appreciate her or not, but wow...do you even want to be married?[/QUOTEI ]

It is unlikely that someone one person sees as a 5 will be a 10 to someone else. To me, a 10 is rare. And again, I am basing this based only on looks, not one adding in personality. We all know that once you get to know someone and begin to love them, that attracted to scale can easily go up.
Simplifying the question: would you rather have great sex with someone less attractive or just eh sex with someone you personally see as much more attractive.

Myself, I would rather have the much more attractive person and the okay sex.

 

[gbrad]

I think it's pretty apparent from all his posts that he doesn't. Definitely a glass is half empty type of person.

I actually consider myself is glass is half full person. I am optimistic that things can always get better.

 

[that_girl]

I thought my husband was the hottest man I'd ever seen. And then he spoke and I was sure of it. But what I think is "the hottest ever" won't be hot for someone else.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's so true.

I had nice looking men with mediocre sex and it just wasn't cutting it because I'm HD.

So thankfully I got a HD man whom I thought was hot.

 

[Inside_Looking_Out]

I can honestly answer the OP's question. My husband was not what I would have been attracted to in the slightest. He is 6/7" shorter than me, and looked nothing like the men I typically would have gone for. However, he pestered me until I went out with him. Our first night in bed, I knew he was the one for me. He might not have physically drawn me, but his skill hooked me.

So, I would rather have a '5', who is skilled and loves often...because that is what makes someone a 10.

 

[livnlearn]

I actually consider myself is glass is half full person. I am optimistic that things can always get better.

perception is half the battle gbrad...

 

[gbrad]

perception is half the battle gbrad...

Yes, but actually making things better is the more difficult portion of the battle.

 

[livnlearn]

Yes, but actually making things better is the more difficult portion of the battle.

you're proving my point.

 

[gbrad]

you're proving my point.

Unless you get a chance to be with someone where you don't actually have to work to be attracted to them.

 

[that_girl]

What is sooooo hideous about your wife? Did I miss something?