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we have been married over 30 years and i have been retired for almost 4. my husband is 64 and has his own company. we have a beautiful home that needs an update badly and we also own 2 cottages. my friends are all downsizing and travelling together. my husband wants to tear down one cottage and build a year round cottage which could possibly be home one day. i would like to sell both cottages, but realize that he loves the lake, so am willing to go along with him. however, we have a lot of valuable antiques in our main home sitting in the basement and also up in the rafters of the garage. i would like a dealer to come in and buy them, but he insists that he will fix them up one day and that the kids may want them. i know they don't and feel my life is so cluttered with material things. why can't he do this for me and make our life easier. today is mother's day and this on top of other things is making me question staying with him. is he being selfish? by the way our 2 cottages are filled with antiques as well, so why can't we weed through all this stuff and get a little extra cash to make our lives easier. taxes and insurance are killing us!
 

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Have you tried talking to him about it at all. I know it's a little harder to change once he has been doing it for so long, but I would also ask you is the clutter really the problem or is there something else that is going on that makes the clutter magnified? I sense that it is more to it then you are stating. I will say that if you haven't talked to him yet communication is the key to a marriage.
 

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I would like to sell both cottages, but realize that he loves the lake, so am willing to go along with him. however, we have a lot of valuable antiques in our main home sitting in the basement and also up in the rafters of the garage.
I hope that you'll be able to come to an agreement with your husband on this. I had the same problem with clutter but we moved and didn't bring it with us. The relief I felt getting that out of my life was tremendous.
 
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