So, listen guys, I really do need help here. I dont want to leave my GF, I do love her and aside from this...huge massive flaw...we do get along very well. Please dont berate me and tell me I am a fool for staying, I already feel this way. I just want to work things out. No we dont have money for therapy.
So Ive posted before about how insanely irresponsible my GF. I last left off that she had to get a job or else. She maintained a job for about 6 weeks, her record!!! She then quit right at the time I had taken a sick leave from work (my hepc has been acting up a lot). So we were both earning nothing.
We took our pennies and moved to Cali, took every spare dollar to get us into an apartment without any furniture or anything. (EDIT*** I should say it wasnt as poor as it sounds since I was unable to work I began selling my artwork very aggressively locally and within 3 weeks I had made over 4k on my artwork and that largely funded the move)
I immediately got hired in my field that I am trained in, in RI there werent any jobs so I was in groceries. I make much more now and the job isnt physical. My GF and I talked about it and she asked if she could only work as an actress...oh boy...
I was feeling amazing for being able to provide and making alone what we both hoped to earn so I said it shouldnt be a problem as long as she earns her half of rent. To her credit she has kept her end on this and does produce this $$$
but the startup costs began piling up, to get settled in comfortably I budgeted we needed at least 3k, to get out of debt, get the place furnished, pay off insurance, things like that. I asked her to get a job.
Till then shes been wrking the occasional gig as an extra (about 50 bucks after taxes for 8 hrs) and to be honest a great deal of that goes into her acting again with acting classes, outfits, headshots, gas, calling services, etc
Im a painter and of course came here with that in mind, I really wanted to be part of this 3 month exhibition that also takes place in LA's huge artwalk, the gallery is very exclusive but its also run like a coop and they ask artists to give 200 to help with advertising and costs. It isnt much considering the exposure you get and how long the show runs and they really do amazing things with it. Anyway, I was invited to show with them and pumped but last minute canceled bc i felt it just wasnt a good time.
I have a budget sheet and began noticing her expenses piling and piling and I felt so fzcking worn down by working working working only to barely make ends meet and if we did have extra, inevitably she had a brilliant new thing that would unfortunately cost $$$.
At first also she was very thankful for me and it made me feel really good. That of course has faded. I asked her to get a small job 10-15 hours a week, just anything that provided a stable check.
Amidst this our cat died and the costs for his cremation and urn and vet bills had piled on too.
So that was last week I asked her to get a job, and now shes requesting her own car. I use the one we have for work. So all this week shes been internet hunting nonstop for the best car deal.
Of course it has to be my credit b/c shes in massive default with several lenders and has no income. Anyway, i get a letter from my employer and after a tiring day at work, we go in search of a pretty vehicle for her.
The apartment has been starting to stink. my GF says its just this or that, but tonight especially the stench is unbreathable. Her job is the housework, especially the cat litter and walking the dog. I told her hey, do the litter and ill work to support us, fair deal!
I have aspergers and the sensory issues with the litter literally make me meltdown sometimes, so really her doing the cat litter is extremely important, I will do almost any other chore.
So I cant stand the stink and I go around cleaning and tossing things away that i think the odor might be coming from. Im slightly annoyed by the state of the place but understanding...
I go into my art studio, we have a room just for me doing artwork that the floor is covered in canvas cloth to keep from staining the hardwood when i paint. Well I havent had much energy after work, dog hike after work, car search, to paint. So i havent been in the room for some time
The place is.
Im talking a weeks worth EASY. Its all over my paints, my canvases, my cloth pad, every where it could be it is.
First of all...ugh i dnt even know where to start.
The 1 litter box we have is stored in there bc its out of the way.
That obviously hadnt been touched, she obviously hadnt done anything ab out it, and hadnt looked in to clean it once or she wouldve seen doomsday.
Also my dog is potty trained, she TELLS you when she needs to go, and my GF is home all day with her. WTF??
We had her a puppy in RI that we gave away bc she wasnt training it or tending to it in any way. She promised in LA since she wasnt depressed shed be a better owner....
Ive also realized since the summer that she has serious passive personality disorder. I honestly think that she's ignoring the pets and her chores because deep down shes mad im having her find some kind of work.
Shes apologized profusely but I just feel incredibly upset and angered and disrespected.
She has spent several hours looking at "cute" cars for herself and didnt tend 1 hour to cleaning anything.
when i asked her why she hadnt she said she'd been stressed. ugh.
I cannot live like this. I Do not want to live without her. I want her to grow up, or face her emotions and face why she is doing this.
I feel ive sacrificed to tend to her career while my career aspiration has literally been [email protected]
Ok and if you are still reading, her avoiding the cat litter isnt due to the death of the cat and her thinking there would be no litter to clean. We have two cats, well HAD two cats, we still have the 1 and he is still sh!tting and p!ssing last I checked. Yup. Cant miss it, piles and piles of it.