True remorse and a lot of hard work, honesty and transparency are required from/by the cheater for the betrayed to have even a tiny sliver of a chance to reconcile successfully. Sadly its not a common occurrence. If the cheater is trying to blame their spouse and sweep the whole thing under the rug like it never happened, there will be no recovery.How do you get over cheating? Is it easier to break up a family than forgive?
Like @marriedButHappy said - circumstances DO matter. You say "girlfriend" in the thread title. Had you two committed to each other when she did this? Had you just started dating? Do you sense she wishes she was with someone else now? Or that she is not the type to be satisfied with one man in a long term relationship?How do you get over cheating? Is it easier to break up a family than forgive?
Yep, that's a great reason to try. A successful recovery would generally need to come from:We have 2 children. That is what is making me to contemplate.
Oh...We have 2 children. That is what is making me to contemplate.
These are the two most germane reasons why you may want to move on. I agree that kids are a good reason to try to reconcile, but only you know the entire array of circumstances and conditions.If she just casually cheated on you odds are she will do it again and at the very least it shows complete lack of respect for you that probably won't change with time.
You are entirely right to not trust her. I advise you to not restore your former trust until she has proven herself worthy of it. She must become totally open about all her activities.unsure now said:I don't trust her.
You don't have to make a decision immediately. You have only heard the beginning. Through more time, you will be able to establish whether she "owns" her actions, and understands that only she is responsible for this..... "gaslighting" (trying to make you feel "crazy" or unreasonable), "blame-shifting" (the devil made me do it. or YOU made me do it) - like "She was drunk", and "trickle truth".... like "had sex with a friend".....are the things you are likely to hear and recognize in the coming months and years.unsure now said:I don't know how or if we move past this.
Do not use your kids as an excuse to stay.My GF 3 weeks ago went out with friends. She was drunk and had sex with a friend of hers. She said it is the first time she has cheated but I struggle now to believe her. I don't trust her. She said she wished she didn't do it but that doesn't help me. She had a lot of guilt but not until after the sex was done. She came home after sex with her friend and crying woke me up and said she slept with the friend of hers. It has been 3 weeks since she telling me. I don't know how or if we move past this. If we don't have our 2 kids I think I would leave.
Most people have a better chance of shaking hands with Jesus than this TRULY happening.1. The cheater has an epiphany and a true change of heart about what they did. They would have to come to terms with their moral failing about cheating and do the hard work to make it up to you and ensure it never happens again.