[questionme2]

If you were deeply in debt and your spouse was told they may be laid off and their income was the largest of the family....how would you react? What would you do?
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[*LittleDeer*]

Try and be supportive and look for solutions together. Start polishing that resume, and get some interviews lined up.
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[Sbrown]

Well, what my wife and I did was, hit the ground running. Me getting fired impacted my life in such a positive way, I will be forever grateful for it (of course it sucked at the time). I came home told my wife (girlfriend at the time) that I got fired and her response was, "well I better call Pat and see if I can get my second job back" I was floored. I just knew she would leave me. I sent out so many resumes and filled out so many applications I couldn't keep track of them. My wife worked over a 100 hours a week at two jobs and I worked as many hours as I could at my part time job. We struggled for 9 months, but somehow managed to make all our payments on time and eat as well. I got an amazing job in the summer of 10 and breathed a sigh of relief, so much so I decided I had to marry this girl. She worked her a$$ off and never complained, never blamed me, never quit, I knew I had to make her my wife.

New job in june of 10, asked her to marry me, of course the ring was on credit. Planned the wedding for August 3, and started shopping for her a new car. I was at work one day and got a the text "Don't call, just come home now." I freaked out and drove home as fast as my Mustang would go. When I got home she met me at the door and informed me that we where having a baby. It was such a shock, my wife was infertile. She went through so much fertility treatments with her prior husband to try to get pregnant and nothing. Well I was so excited for about 3 days, then it hit me. "How in the world can we pay for this?" I freaked out, didn't know what to do. Almost every penny we both made was spoken for every week. I was a wreck for about 3 days, until I found a link to a financial guru that promised salvation. I researched it and it seemed legit. I bought his book and read it in 2 days, it took me a week of begging and pleading but I finally got my wife to read it and she read it in 2 days. We started our journey of becoming debt free and it took us 18 months but we paid off over 64,000$ in debt and now the only payment we make is our house. The book was "The total money makeover" by Dave Ramsey. Buy the book, read it, live it, it will change your life. It is not a gimmick, it is in your face COMMON sense stuff everyone USED to follow. It just might save you financially.

Sorry for my long story lol just felt like I have been where you are and wanted to share.

 

[Carisma]

Well, be supportive but have expectations. That is the best advice I can give you. I was very supportive, my husband is an engineer and went through 4 layoffs in 3 years because his position was being shuttled to India. He immediately got another job after each company axed his department, and I was very supportive and strong. But that does something to a guys ego. It just does. He got depressed, angry, unmotivated etc. After the last layoff he took a job managing a department of a commercial landscape company at 1/3 of his income. I had to go to work. 10 years later he is still doing the same thing. He didn't go back to school, he didn't do anything but work 12 hour days 8 months out of the year and hang out at home and drive me crazy the other 4 months. It has caused frustration etc in me. I was at my wits end but just continued to be "little miss supportive wife" and enabled him to continue doing a job that anyone could do and not utilizing his education.

This spring I decided that if he wasn't going to provide for us, I was. I started going to school for a good degree and am on the fast track for that. Since he is not working at his capacity he is having to do lots of housework as his contribution while I work a lot and go to school.

The strangest thing is....he is NOW putting in resumes and working towards getting a job that will utilize his education, for the first time in 10 years. He has enrolled in an online class to start working towards his masters, which is what he was told over and over when he got laid off he needed to do but wouldn't.

So, be supportive but don't be enabling.