Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
My fiance and I had been dating for two years before I got accepted to a grad school across the country. Our plan was always that he would give me a year to transition back into studying full-time, quit his job, relocate to my city, find a job and we'd get married.

I remember we were both happy about the prospect of finding new work, because while he liked the company he worked for, he felt overqualified, unchallenged and there was no chance for professional growth (he has a master's degree and was basically an administrative assistant).

A year has come and he's weeks from making the big move; he's given notice to his current employer, has been applying online to companies for the past six months, but has received no prospects. Recently, his supervisor forwarded his resume to one of her contacts in my area, and he received an invitation for an informal interview.

To me, it seems like a perfect fit for him: it's in a field he studied in grad school for an organization that does meaningful work. However, he seems hesitant to follow up on the lead because there are duties of the job that he's less thrilled about.

I want to be supportive of his professional goals; Lord knows he deserves to be happy at work. But I also worry that he's not being realistic - about what a fulfilling job/career looks like, about how long it will take him to get another job lead, and about how uncomfortable it's going to be living off my financial aid indefinitely.

How can I voice my concerns without him feeling like I don't care about his career goals?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Every time I tried to tell my husband to be realistic with jobs and businesses, he would blow up on me. We had a fight whenever the topic raised. You should either be straight forward with him and risk a fight, ignore it completely and risk him being job-less, or find out what his core problems are for refusing the job. In my husbands case, I just found out that he lied about his degrees and lied on his resume and therefore wont pursue any good job openings.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
319 Posts
I think you should focus exclusively on how you both will manage financially. At the same time, he should at least follow-up on the lead - it doesn't commit him to anything.

And in this economy, I think it is unwise to leave one job voluntarily without having another one all lined up.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,969 Posts
I think you should focus exclusively on how you both will manage financially. At the same time, he should at least follow-up on the lead - it doesn't commit him to anything.

And in this economy, I think it is unwise to leave one job voluntarily without having another one all lined up.
:iagree:

Just because he goes to the interview doesn't mean he has to accept the job offer. It's just a smart move to at least see what it's about.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,578 Posts
He should definitely do the interview. Since it was a referral, the person he would see, if things didn't work out, could also refer him to someone else.

But in terms of applying on-line for a job in another city, the chances are almost zero to get a bite. In this economy, there are plenty of local candidates applying for jobs that an employer can pick from without having to think about non-local applicants.

So ask him to go for that interview and then restart the job seach when he is local.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
An update: I ended up gently suggesting he do the informal interview by saying even if he's not interested, he could make a connection in the city. He ended up taking my suggestion, and wouldn't you know it, turns out the organization and position is more interesting than he thought.

He sent in his application yesterday and we're both keeping our fingers crossed that he gets called in for a real interview.

Thanks all for the advice!
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top