Yet you haven’t been honest with your husband…so the whole relationship is a farce based on deception.
Future father law trying to ruin my life.
I don't even know if anyone can help me but I just need to vent. I'm 26 and my fiance is 27. We met 2 years ago and planned to get married next month in Mexico. Something low cost and simple. Several years back when I was in college, I did a lot of foolish things. This was before I met my husband. I was on a certain arrangement website and I would regularly sleep with wealthy men for money and gifts.
There was one man in particular who I saw early on. Very unattractive and obese. However, he gave me almost anything I asked for and treated me well. He could not maintain an erection through sex so I would normally jerk him off for pleasure and we would cuddle. Sometimes I'd sit on his face and ride his tongue but we never had vaginal sex with his penis. I was really disgusted by him but not because of his age, but because of his looks. He was sloppy and I'd feel uncomfortable with him in public. He told me about his wife and personal problems. I eventually connected with some men that were more my type so I started to brush him off until he got the message.
Eventually I stopped living that life when I got closer to graduation. A lot of girls did it so it didn't bother me. So fast forward to when I met the man I'm with now, he's everything I could ever want in a man. Attractive, funny, great career, and religious. We dated but never had sex. I found Christ through him. I told him that I wanted to wait until marriage to sleep with him because I wanted it to feel special. He agreed and the next week, presented me with an engagement ring.
Last year on his birthday, he invited me to meet his parents. I walked in and instantly recognized the man at the table. It was the man I was with back in college, his father! I felt like I saw a ghost but tried to act normal. I pretended to meet him for the first time. He had a big grin on his face and continued to smile too much at the table. I don't think my fiance noticed anything but I told him midway through that I felt ill and wanted to go home. I've seen his father several times since then and he'd always make smart remarks around me. My fiance told him that we were waiting until marriage for sex and his father burst out laughing. It's almost like he was torturing me and I felt humiliated.
This past November, I was at their home for Thanksgiving. I was alone in the kitchen and his father came in. He whispered that he wanted to restart what we had. I ignored him and walked out. Since then, he made remarks about wanting me. I really didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose my man. This past holiday, he told me that if I lay with him one last time, he would stop bothering me. He swore to God. I thought it over and we did it. He got a motel and I pleasured him like before. I really believed that he wouldn't bother me again but since then, every time we are alone, he tells me he wants me again. He's acting more aggressive too.
Two days ago, he called me and told me that if I don't sleep with him again, he will tell his son everything. I didn't respond and just hung up. I haven't left the house since. I haven't been sleeping and I feel suicidal. Every time something good happens in my life, something ruins it. My fiance has no idea I was that kind of girl back then. He has no idea I was with his father. I'm sure his mother doesn't know what her husband was doing either. I really just don't know what to do. No matter if I tell it or he tells it, my fiance will leave me. There is no way out of this. I'm tired of starting over and I really thought this would be it. I feel like there is no answer but I just want guidance if anyone can help.
There was one man in particular who I saw early on. Very unattractive and obese. However, he gave me almost anything I asked for and treated me well. He could not maintain an erection through sex so I would normally jerk him off for pleasure and we would cuddle. Sometimes I'd sit on his face and ride his tongue but we never had vaginal sex with his penis. I was really disgusted by him but not because of his age, but because of his looks. He was sloppy and I'd feel uncomfortable with him in public. He told me about his wife and personal problems. I eventually connected with some men that were more my type so I started to brush him off until he got the message.
Eventually I stopped living that life when I got closer to graduation. A lot of girls did it so it didn't bother me. So fast forward to when I met the man I'm with now, he's everything I could ever want in a man. Attractive, funny, great career, and religious. We dated but never had sex. I found Christ through him. I told him that I wanted to wait until marriage to sleep with him because I wanted it to feel special. He agreed and the next week, presented me with an engagement ring.
Last year on his birthday, he invited me to meet his parents. I walked in and instantly recognized the man at the table. It was the man I was with back in college, his father! I felt like I saw a ghost but tried to act normal. I pretended to meet him for the first time. He had a big grin on his face and continued to smile too much at the table. I don't think my fiance noticed anything but I told him midway through that I felt ill and wanted to go home. I've seen his father several times since then and he'd always make smart remarks around me. My fiance told him that we were waiting until marriage for sex and his father burst out laughing. It's almost like he was torturing me and I felt humiliated.
This past November, I was at their home for Thanksgiving. I was alone in the kitchen and his father came in. He whispered that he wanted to restart what we had. I ignored him and walked out. Since then, he made remarks about wanting me. I really didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose my man. This past holiday, he told me that if I lay with him one last time, he would stop bothering me. He swore to God. I thought it over and we did it. He got a motel and I pleasured him like before. I really believed that he wouldn't bother me again but since then, every time we are alone, he tells me he wants me again. He's acting more aggressive too.
Two days ago, he called me and told me that if I don't sleep with him again, he will tell his son everything. I didn't respond and just hung up. I haven't left the house since. I haven't been sleeping and I feel suicidal. Every time something good happens in my life, something ruins it. My fiance has no idea I was that kind of girl back then. He has no idea I was with his father. I'm sure his mother doesn't know what her husband was doing either. I really just don't know what to do. No matter if I tell it or he tells it, my fiance will leave me. There is no way out of this. I'm tired of starting over and I really thought this would be it. I feel like there is no answer but I just want guidance if anyone can help.
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Appears to me beating up in the OP is going to change her mind on the perspective of her past and the current "drama" with her FIL - so what iswith the continual bashing of her choice on how to process her situation?
My Couching would be to play out all the possible scenarios and - as best she can --- rehearse her act for when the feces hits the fan.
Unless hubby is forever kept in the dark of not ever learning the truth - she will "win" - well? Short term anyway.
Sad, Just Sad
My Couching would be to play out all the possible scenarios and - as best she can --- rehearse her act for when the feces hits the fan.
Unless hubby is forever kept in the dark of not ever learning the truth - she will "win" - well? Short term anyway.
Sad, Just Sad
Once upon a time, a prostitute offered a poor man sexual favors in exchange for money. Poor man obliged, despite lumited funds. After sex, the man discovered a winning lottery ticket in his wallet. POOF! The woman was no longer a prostitute. Yeah, that makes sense.For the final time, I was not a prostitute! I never walked the streets. I was particular about who I was and most men wouldn't be in the same room with me if they weren't in the right income bracket.
Sorry to be callous but play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Unfortunately YOU ruined your life before it even got going.
Most men don’t want to marry former sex workers or women who do / did things like that. I’m sorry no one taught you that. Maybe it didn’t bother you, but it will bother most men. Most will probably consider it a dealbreaker. You can try to hide it but things have a way of coming out. Better to be upfront about your past with your fiancé (or any potential serious partners) and hope for the best, because if it comes out later, it will be even worse.
Most men don’t want to marry former sex workers or women who do / did things like that. I’m sorry no one taught you that. Maybe it didn’t bother you, but it will bother most men. Most will probably consider it a dealbreaker. You can try to hide it but things have a way of coming out. Better to be upfront about your past with your fiancé (or any potential serious partners) and hope for the best, because if it comes out later, it will be even worse.
And your father-in-law.My body now belongs to my husband. All my experience is for his pleasure now.
Ahhh, family get togethers. One more thing father and son can reminisce about.Whatever you want to call it. It's not who I am today. I'm proud of what I've done because it made me into the woman that I am today. Women have done what you may consider much worse that I have and yet they are praised in the media. Look at Cardi B, Mia Khalifa, super head. They don't deserve a husband because of what they did? My body now belongs to my husband. All my experience is for his pleasure now.
One question did you take money for sex\to keep company with these men?....if the answer is yes then you are a sex worker....I want to be clear I have no problem with that but I promise you, you are not reporting that money for taxes.For the final time, I was not a prostitute! I never walked the streets. I was particular about who I was and most men wouldn't be in the same room with me if they weren't in the right income bracket. I did very well for myself and I was in control. I did things on my term.
And for anyone wondering, we are doing just fine. I've been giving him the best sex of his life. He isn't going anywhere anytime soon. We'll get married and have children. The date is next month. When I feel the time is right then I'll tell him everything. The timing depends on God. I've been praying and he has not shown me when the time is right. It may never come but that's not up to me. Until then, I'll be burdened with keeping this secret to protect the one I love. This is not easy for me and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm falling on the sword to protect this family and although it hurts, the outcome of my life will be worth it.
It reminds me of an old joke....I guy sees a beautiful woman in a bar and strikes up a conversation and during the on going conversation he ask her would you sleep with me for a million dollars and she said absolutely then he said would you sleep with me for $10....and she was upset...." Absolutely not what kind of girl do you think I am".
He said calmly " we have already established that now we are just arguing about the price"
I think it's established you were a sex worker...you can wax what ever word you want to make yourself feel better, but you never went out with these men for free....money was exchanged....
I realize I'm wasting my breath, but here I go.
I don't think anybody here is casting aspersions upon the fact that you once worked as a sex worker. Your defiant responses always circle back to that perspective, but you're tilting at windmills. That's not the issue.
The issue is that some men (not all men, but some) would feel strongly negative about learning, after marriage and kids, that their wife was a prostitute in an earlier version of her life. It's an unusual fact. Remarkable even. The prudent and honest path through this is to disclose up front, in advance of committing, to give the man an opportunity to make his decisions about commitment in light of the factual truth. Instead, you're scheming to p#55y-trap a man via lies and deceit. Your plan is to get him anchored to you financially and legally, via marriage and a baby, with hopes that if/when he finds out later, he won't have the cojones to kick you to the curb.
The path toward the inevitable shyte-storm that you are leading your unwitting victim/husband toward is especially volatile. I for one would enjoy watching it unfold. It would be like one of those "ultimate fails" videos on YouTube. A rich source of schadenfreude. You have the FIL as an independent actor. He could, out of spite, out you to his son at any time. No matter how and when he learns about this, the poor man is going to be hammered by multiple revelations at once: (a) My wife, who has held herself out as a pious Christian woman, and who withheld sex from me until marriage under the theory that each of us was saving ourselves for marriage, was in fact a prostitute before meeting me, meaning there is really no reason we couldn't have been putting the Devil back into Hell from very early on in our relationship. (b) My dad cheated on my mom with a prostitute. (c) My dad has ED and is gross and smelly. (d) On my wedding day, my dad had more sexual knowledge of my wife than I did, and yet both of them smiled and pretended as if everything was okay, my wife even looked me in the eye, with my dad present, and pledged what I thought was her "chastity" to me, for life.
Please post videos. It will be the best belly laugh I've had in years.
By the way, you've said that you and your groom-to-be are saving yourselves for marriage. You've also said you're giving him the best sex of his life. Hmmm.
I don't think anybody here is casting aspersions upon the fact that you once worked as a sex worker. Your defiant responses always circle back to that perspective, but you're tilting at windmills. That's not the issue.
The issue is that some men (not all men, but some) would feel strongly negative about learning, after marriage and kids, that their wife was a prostitute in an earlier version of her life. It's an unusual fact. Remarkable even. The prudent and honest path through this is to disclose up front, in advance of committing, to give the man an opportunity to make his decisions about commitment in light of the factual truth. Instead, you're scheming to p#55y-trap a man via lies and deceit. Your plan is to get him anchored to you financially and legally, via marriage and a baby, with hopes that if/when he finds out later, he won't have the cojones to kick you to the curb.
The path toward the inevitable shyte-storm that you are leading your unwitting victim/husband toward is especially volatile. I for one would enjoy watching it unfold. It would be like one of those "ultimate fails" videos on YouTube. A rich source of schadenfreude. You have the FIL as an independent actor. He could, out of spite, out you to his son at any time. No matter how and when he learns about this, the poor man is going to be hammered by multiple revelations at once: (a) My wife, who has held herself out as a pious Christian woman, and who withheld sex from me until marriage under the theory that each of us was saving ourselves for marriage, was in fact a prostitute before meeting me, meaning there is really no reason we couldn't have been putting the Devil back into Hell from very early on in our relationship. (b) My dad cheated on my mom with a prostitute. (c) My dad has ED and is gross and smelly. (d) On my wedding day, my dad had more sexual knowledge of my wife than I did, and yet both of them smiled and pretended as if everything was okay, my wife even looked me in the eye, with my dad present, and pledged what I thought was her "chastity" to me, for life.
Please post videos. It will be the best belly laugh I've had in years.
By the way, you've said that you and your groom-to-be are saving yourselves for marriage. You've also said you're giving him the best sex of his life. Hmmm.
Again, his dad may decide to reveal the truth too. It isn’t all up to you, or God. You don’t feel the timing is right, but why? Because you know you’ll lose him, and you’re upping the stakes to make it harder for him if you do tell him. I’m pretty sure God isn’t thinking that way.And for anyone wondering, we are doing just fine. I've been giving him the best sex of his life. He isn't going anywhere anytime soon. We'll get married and have children. The date is next month. When I feel the time is right then I'll tell him everything. The timing depends on God. I've been praying and he has not shown me when the time is right. It may never come but that's not up to me. Until then, I'll be burdened with keeping this secret to protect the one I love. This is not easy for me and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm falling on the sword to protect this family and although it hurts, the outcome of my life will be worth it.
You said you could get any man you want - tell him now, and prove it. And if he leaves, there are plenty out there you can have your pick of.
You are the very definition of a ………..For the final time, I was not a prostitute! I never walked the streets. I was particular about who I was and most men wouldn't be in the same room with me if they weren't in the right income bracket. I did very well for myself and I was in control. I did things on my term.
And for anyone wondering, we are doing just fine. I've been giving him the best sex of his life. He isn't going anywhere anytime soon. We'll get married and have children. The date is next month. When I feel the time is right then I'll tell him everything. The timing depends on God. I've been praying and he has not shown me when the time is right. It may never come but that's not up to me. Until then, I'll be burdened with keeping this secret to protect the one I love. This is not easy for me and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm falling on the sword to protect this family and although it hurts, the outcome of my life will be worth it.
Currently, it's a little less about who you were and a lot more about you ****ing your future FIL several days ago.
In your case, given your current actions with regard to the deception you are perpetrating on you husband, you are still that same prostitute you were in college. You lack any sense of morals. Once a ***** always a ***** in your case. You have no problem using your body as a tool and when the need arises again you will use it as such again.Whatever you want to call it. It's not who I am today. I'm proud of what I've done because it made me into the woman that I am today. Women have done what you may consider much worse that I have and yet they are praised in the media. Look at Cardi B, Mia Khalifa, super head. They don't deserve a husband because of what they did? My body now belongs to my husband. All my experience is for his pleasure now.
no!!!! they would tell the man they loved which is what your problem is !!!I didn't willingly sleep with him. I was blackmailed. I'm not perfect and I'm young and still make mistakes. This was not cheating. I was trying to solve a problem. I'm sure any woman in my shoes would have done the same thing if it meant saving the one they love.
I didn't willingly sleep with him. I was blackmailed. I'm not perfect and I'm young and still make mistakes. This was not cheating. I was trying to solve a problem. I'm sure any woman in my shoes would have done the same thing if it meant saving the one they love.
Lets imagine here that your soon-to-be husband waits until you are married have kids then tells you he is gay. how would you feel? probably betrayed the question is why would you feel betrayed?One thing that I've been thinking about is that if he wanted to tell his son, he would have done so already. The moment we were introduced, he would have told him how horrible I was and told him not to marry me. Just the fact that he hasn't said anything proves that he thinks I'm a good person and that he thinks I'm good enough for his son. Of course he has bad intentions but if my past was so bad, he would have said something by now.
I'm starting to lean towards not saying anything at all and calling his bluff. Me and my fiance have agreed that we will make the marriage work no matter what. We have plans for children. I know that if I can just stay long enough to have a baby, he won't leave if he ever finds out. It will be painful but I feel that with God, we can work it out. I do plan to tell him one day but the timing has to be right. Once he knows then I'll be free but I think we can agree that now isn't the right time.
everything you have done has only been to protect 1 person you that is the problem because you have not considered how your dishonesty might affect him. If you paused for a moment and stopped putting yourself in the center you would realize that to a man what you are deciding to do out of omission is the worst part of it all. because any form of reconciallliation and healing would involve trust which you have constantly trampled on each day that you dont tell him !!!
let's hope your fiancee has the same logic as you !!!I didn't willingly sleep with him. I was blackmailed. I'm not perfect and I'm young and still make mistakes. This was not cheating. I was trying to solve a problem. I'm sure any woman in my shoes would have done the same thing if it meant saving the one they love.
Now let's examine this based on your actions and though patterns!!I am being honest in that I did not have sex with his father. I simply pleasured him. He has never had his penis inside me.
- why should we believe you?
- hence the problem which we all are trying to get you to see. no matter what you say afterward whether true or not who will believe you?
- your character has demonstrated that trust and honesty are not valued and you fiancee will see that as well
- the longer the truth stays hidden from your fiancee the more he will realize how much he hate you and how you're making it easy for him not to stay ..
- you talk about kids etc that might be all he needs at that time to really leave you !!! especially if he puts the kids first !! not exactly what your thinking
no it's not because you just shared it and that's what hes going to think !!Whatever you want to call it. It's not who I am today. I'm proud of what I've done because it made me into the woman that I am today. Women have done what you may consider much worse that I have and yet they are praised in the media. Look at Cardi B, Mia Khalifa, super head. They don't deserve a husband because of what they did? My body now belongs to my husband. All my experience is for his pleasure now.
She has only three posts to her name, to her shame.
Our whip is in tatters, her flesh lay scourged.
Enough, be gone.
Our whip is in tatters, her flesh lay scourged.
Enough, be gone.
That thing didn't count her first several replies.She has only three posts to her name, to her shame.
Our whip is in tatters, her flesh lay scourged.
Enough, be gone.
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