I'm sorry but you have to tell your fiance about your past. You should have done it a long time ago.
Future father law trying to ruin my life.
I don't even know if anyone can help me but I just need to vent. I'm 26 and my fiance is 27. We met 2 years ago and planned to get married next month in Mexico. Something low cost and simple. Several years back when I was in college, I did a lot of foolish things. This was before I met my husband. I was on a certain arrangement website and I would regularly sleep with wealthy men for money and gifts.
There was one man in particular who I saw early on. Very unattractive and obese. However, he gave me almost anything I asked for and treated me well. He could not maintain an erection through sex so I would normally jerk him off for pleasure and we would cuddle. Sometimes I'd sit on his face and ride his tongue but we never had vaginal sex with his penis. I was really disgusted by him but not because of his age, but because of his looks. He was sloppy and I'd feel uncomfortable with him in public. He told me about his wife and personal problems. I eventually connected with some men that were more my type so I started to brush him off until he got the message.
Eventually I stopped living that life when I got closer to graduation. A lot of girls did it so it didn't bother me. So fast forward to when I met the man I'm with now, he's everything I could ever want in a man. Attractive, funny, great career, and religious. We dated but never had sex. I found Christ through him. I told him that I wanted to wait until marriage to sleep with him because I wanted it to feel special. He agreed and the next week, presented me with an engagement ring.
Last year on his birthday, he invited me to meet his parents. I walked in and instantly recognized the man at the table. It was the man I was with back in college, his father! I felt like I saw a ghost but tried to act normal. I pretended to meet him for the first time. He had a big grin on his face and continued to smile too much at the table. I don't think my fiance noticed anything but I told him midway through that I felt ill and wanted to go home. I've seen his father several times since then and he'd always make smart remarks around me. My fiance told him that we were waiting until marriage for sex and his father burst out laughing. It's almost like he was torturing me and I felt humiliated.
This past November, I was at their home for Thanksgiving. I was alone in the kitchen and his father came in. He whispered that he wanted to restart what we had. I ignored him and walked out. Since then, he made remarks about wanting me. I really didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose my man. This past holiday, he told me that if I lay with him one last time, he would stop bothering me. He swore to God. I thought it over and we did it. He got a motel and I pleasured him like before. I really believed that he wouldn't bother me again but since then, every time we are alone, he tells me he wants me again. He's acting more aggressive too.
Two days ago, he called me and told me that if I don't sleep with him again, he will tell his son everything. I didn't respond and just hung up. I haven't left the house since. I haven't been sleeping and I feel suicidal. Every time something good happens in my life, something ruins it. My fiance has no idea I was that kind of girl back then. He has no idea I was with his father. I'm sure his mother doesn't know what her husband was doing either. I really just don't know what to do. No matter if I tell it or he tells it, my fiance will leave me. There is no way out of this. I'm tired of starting over and I really thought this would be it. I feel like there is no answer but I just want guidance if anyone can help.
There was one man in particular who I saw early on. Very unattractive and obese. However, he gave me almost anything I asked for and treated me well. He could not maintain an erection through sex so I would normally jerk him off for pleasure and we would cuddle. Sometimes I'd sit on his face and ride his tongue but we never had vaginal sex with his penis. I was really disgusted by him but not because of his age, but because of his looks. He was sloppy and I'd feel uncomfortable with him in public. He told me about his wife and personal problems. I eventually connected with some men that were more my type so I started to brush him off until he got the message.
Eventually I stopped living that life when I got closer to graduation. A lot of girls did it so it didn't bother me. So fast forward to when I met the man I'm with now, he's everything I could ever want in a man. Attractive, funny, great career, and religious. We dated but never had sex. I found Christ through him. I told him that I wanted to wait until marriage to sleep with him because I wanted it to feel special. He agreed and the next week, presented me with an engagement ring.
Last year on his birthday, he invited me to meet his parents. I walked in and instantly recognized the man at the table. It was the man I was with back in college, his father! I felt like I saw a ghost but tried to act normal. I pretended to meet him for the first time. He had a big grin on his face and continued to smile too much at the table. I don't think my fiance noticed anything but I told him midway through that I felt ill and wanted to go home. I've seen his father several times since then and he'd always make smart remarks around me. My fiance told him that we were waiting until marriage for sex and his father burst out laughing. It's almost like he was torturing me and I felt humiliated.
This past November, I was at their home for Thanksgiving. I was alone in the kitchen and his father came in. He whispered that he wanted to restart what we had. I ignored him and walked out. Since then, he made remarks about wanting me. I really didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose my man. This past holiday, he told me that if I lay with him one last time, he would stop bothering me. He swore to God. I thought it over and we did it. He got a motel and I pleasured him like before. I really believed that he wouldn't bother me again but since then, every time we are alone, he tells me he wants me again. He's acting more aggressive too.
Two days ago, he called me and told me that if I don't sleep with him again, he will tell his son everything. I didn't respond and just hung up. I haven't left the house since. I haven't been sleeping and I feel suicidal. Every time something good happens in my life, something ruins it. My fiance has no idea I was that kind of girl back then. He has no idea I was with his father. I'm sure his mother doesn't know what her husband was doing either. I really just don't know what to do. No matter if I tell it or he tells it, my fiance will leave me. There is no way out of this. I'm tired of starting over and I really thought this would be it. I feel like there is no answer but I just want guidance if anyone can help.
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Go and see a medical Dr. Get some meds to help with anxiety ect. Next time the Phucker contacts you , tell him to back off , or YOU will tell his wife. Carry your phone with you and record him
Second , he will not stop...Don't hurt yourself because he's a perv. We've all done things in our youth we aren't proud of . Live and learn.
You might just want to tell your fiance.. Yes , your relationship will probably be over.. Your only 26 , maybe time to move on..And heal
Second , he will not stop...Don't hurt yourself because he's a perv. We've all done things in our youth we aren't proud of . Live and learn.
You might just want to tell your fiance.. Yes , your relationship will probably be over.. Your only 26 , maybe time to move on..And heal
Unfortunately, that was the moment you obliterated your relationship with your fiance. This was different from your past that caught up to you. It's who you are now.This past holiday, he told me that if I lay with him one last time, he would stop bothering me. He swore to God. I thought it over and we did it. He got a motel and I pleasured him like before.
Edit: grammar
Sorry but I am with the other posters. You should have told him much earlier on and you need to tell him about his father as well.
As a Christian he should understand about fresh starts and forgiveness so may stay with you, but the fact that his dad is the man you were with complicates things a lot ,especially as you have cheated on him with his own father.
If you don't tell him he will eventually find out from his dad so the sooner you do it the better. It's the only way.
He and his mum need to know what an awful person their dad/husband is.
You are a Christian now, deception and untruthfulness is so wrong.
As a Christian he should understand about fresh starts and forgiveness so may stay with you, but the fact that his dad is the man you were with complicates things a lot ,especially as you have cheated on him with his own father.
If you don't tell him he will eventually find out from his dad so the sooner you do it the better. It's the only way.
He and his mum need to know what an awful person their dad/husband is.
You are a Christian now, deception and untruthfulness is so wrong.
I'll play.I don't even know if anyone can help me but I just need to vent. I'm 26 and my fiance is 27. We met 2 years ago and planned to get married next month in Mexico. Something low cost and simple. Several years back when I was in college, I did a lot of foolish things. This was before I met my husband. I was on a certain arrangement website and I would regularly sleep with wealthy men for money and gifts.
There was one man in particular who I saw early on. Very unattractive and obese. However, he gave me almost anything I asked for and treated me well. He could not maintain an erection through sex so I would normally jerk him off for pleasure and we would cuddle. Sometimes I'd sit on his face and ride his tongue but we never had vaginal sex with his penis. I was really disgusted by him but not because of his age, but because of his looks. He was sloppy and I'd feel uncomfortable with him in public. He told me about his wife and personal problems. I eventually connected with some men that were more my type so I started to brush him off until he got the message.
Eventually I stopped living that life when I got closer to graduation. A lot of girls did it so it didn't bother me. So fast forward to when I met the man I'm with now, he's everything I could ever want in a man. Attractive, funny, great career, and religious. We dated but never had sex. I found Christ through him. I told him that I wanted to wait until marriage to sleep with him because I wanted it to feel special. He agreed and the next week, presented me with an engagement ring.
Last year on his birthday, he invited me to meet his parents. I walked in and instantly recognized the man at the table. It was the man I was with back in college, his father! I felt like I saw a ghost but tried to act normal. I pretended to meet him for the first time. He had a big grin on his face and continued to smile too much at the table. I don't think my fiance noticed anything but I told him midway through that I felt ill and wanted to go home. I've seen his father several times since then and he'd always make smart remarks around me. My fiance told him that we were waiting until marriage for sex and his father burst out laughing. It's almost like he was torturing me and I felt humiliated.
This past November, I was at their home for Thanksgiving. I was alone in the kitchen and his father came in. He whispered that he wanted to restart what we had. I ignored him and walked out. Since then, he made remarks about wanting me. I really didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose my man. This past holiday, he told me that if I lay with him one last time, he would stop bothering me. He swore to God. I thought it over and we did it. He got a motel and I pleasured him like before. I really believed that he wouldn't bother me again but since then, every time we are alone, he tells me he wants me again. He's acting more aggressive too.
Two days ago, he called me and told me that if I don't sleep with him again, he will tell his son everything. I didn't respond and just hung up. I haven't left the house since. I haven't been sleeping and I feel suicidal. Every time something good happens in my life, something ruins it. My fiance has no idea I was that kind of girl back then. He has no idea I was with his father. I'm sure his mother doesn't know what her husband was doing either. I really just don't know what to do. No matter if I tell it or he tells it, my fiance will leave me. There is no way out of this. I'm tired of starting over and I really thought this would be it. I feel like there is no answer but I just want guidance if anyone can help.
You focus on the huge coincidence if your fiance's father.
But don't you think telling fiance about all of the many other men you had sex for money with, is important to tell him? As in you had many of these, a potential H should know this at least.
Your future FIL is a blackmailer. You are going to lose your FI over this but better a FI then a husband. (No lawyers or filing fees to pay)
Still that is nothing to hurt yourself over. Suicide is not the answer. Call a hotline. Go to a psychiatrist / psychologist. Get some meds. Pray.
If you truly found Christ you know you have to tell the truth. As others have said you should have disclosed this years ago, even before you were introduced to his family. This may have been salvageable BEFORE you had sex with his father as his FI. It's not now. I don't care how much of a forgiving Christian your FI is. Nobody should be forced to think about the idea that their spouse had sex with a parent. Yuck You made the choice to have sex with FFIL: he didn't rape you. The incestuous aspect of the relationship is too gross / raw. This is going to destroy the whole family. It will probably cause the end of your relationship, the end of him interacting with dear old dad & the end of his parents' marriage.
Still speaking up is the right thing to do. If you don't believe me, consult the minister for the Church you now attend.
Still that is nothing to hurt yourself over. Suicide is not the answer. Call a hotline. Go to a psychiatrist / psychologist. Get some meds. Pray.
If you truly found Christ you know you have to tell the truth. As others have said you should have disclosed this years ago, even before you were introduced to his family. This may have been salvageable BEFORE you had sex with his father as his FI. It's not now. I don't care how much of a forgiving Christian your FI is. Nobody should be forced to think about the idea that their spouse had sex with a parent. Yuck You made the choice to have sex with FFIL: he didn't rape you. The incestuous aspect of the relationship is too gross / raw. This is going to destroy the whole family. It will probably cause the end of your relationship, the end of him interacting with dear old dad & the end of his parents' marriage.
Still speaking up is the right thing to do. If you don't believe me, consult the minister for the Church you now attend.
OP, I'm really sorry you're going through this. But at this point the only way out is the truth. I recently found out about some sex work type of things that my fiancee was doing and while I was upset and wanted to end things first. Once I processed how happy we've been together and actually talked to her about how she ended up in that place, I decided to forgive her from hiding that part of her past and move forward. With that said there are no guarantees that telling the truth will result in saving your relationship, but as crazy as it sounds I think speaking the truth will lift some weight off your shoulders.
I think you have some challenges when it comes to your guy forgiving you. If it was all in the past, I think he would forgive you fairly quickly. But the recent encounter with his dad probably makes that very unlikely. Also, keep in mind it may bother him if your sexual history is more varied and with more partners than he had. Did he just recently decide to become celibate again, or has he always wanted to wait until he is married to have sex? If it's the latter I think he will really have a difficult time processing this and you're going to lose him. The bottom line is I think its unlikely you save your relationship, but for your own mental health and well being I think you need to tell the truth. Even if you lose him, you can't go the rest of your life with a pervy father in law around all the time. It was honestly probably over the moment you recognized him. Really sorry.
I don't want to make you feel more down than you already do. I agree with you that lots of college girls become sugar babies, and they go on to find love and live happy fulfilling lives. You can too. You were on your way until this happened, but I promise you. You'll get another shot at love in life. Just be upfront next time. Regardless of how this current situation plays out. You're not worthless or tarnished. Remember that, and hold on to your faith during this time.
I think you have some challenges when it comes to your guy forgiving you. If it was all in the past, I think he would forgive you fairly quickly. But the recent encounter with his dad probably makes that very unlikely. Also, keep in mind it may bother him if your sexual history is more varied and with more partners than he had. Did he just recently decide to become celibate again, or has he always wanted to wait until he is married to have sex? If it's the latter I think he will really have a difficult time processing this and you're going to lose him. The bottom line is I think its unlikely you save your relationship, but for your own mental health and well being I think you need to tell the truth. Even if you lose him, you can't go the rest of your life with a pervy father in law around all the time. It was honestly probably over the moment you recognized him. Really sorry.
I don't want to make you feel more down than you already do. I agree with you that lots of college girls become sugar babies, and they go on to find love and live happy fulfilling lives. You can too. You were on your way until this happened, but I promise you. You'll get another shot at love in life. Just be upfront next time. Regardless of how this current situation plays out. You're not worthless or tarnished. Remember that, and hold on to your faith during this time.
Tons of skepticism. Reads like a movie script. But should fess up if true
I was born and lived my entire life very near a Big 10 university. I know quite a few people who went to said university, met their spouses there, and sent their own children there 20+ years later. Including a family member.
A few of those people have been known to have patronized a sex worker while visiting the university for events or to see their kids.
A lot of the sex workers in this college town are students.
A student sex worker meeting and dating the student son of a customer isn't out of the realm of possibility here.
I think the chances of this post being true are low, but not zero.
Got news for you. This man is not your future father in law.
There is no coming back from this.
There is no coming back from this.
Agreed. How would Christmas and holidays go?Got news for you. This man is not your future father in law.
There is no coming back from this.
Hey son, can your W do me while she's here? That will be forever. Which is a horrible scenario.
Wow...just Wow! First off, even if his father wasn't involved in this, to marry a man while hiding your sex worker past from him is just simply wrong. Now add in the father, and the fact that you re-engaged with him is likely too much for any guy to handle. And no, he's not going to get over it in a week. You've got an exceedingly small shot at getting his forgiveness if you come totally clean, but there is likely way too much baggage here to overcome. Plus you will always have "Dad" perving on you and there can never be a normal family relationship with him. Ughh...there is just too much here to even deal with. Its your choice obviously, but I think I would just move on and accept that there are life long consequences for our choices. Its a tough pill, but you may be at the point of no return. If you choose to move on, I would suggest a relocation and a fresh start. But good luck, as you'll need it.
You want to marry the son, but are disgusted by his father? I hope you are aware this is how your fiance is going to look like in the future.
Every thing is just about you. You needed money and used men therefore. You foubd someone better, so you brushed the first guy off.
Now you want to get married. The guy is all you dreamed of before. You don't care if you are. You want something and you lie to him to get what you want.
The remprse for what you have done only comes from it now threatening your relationship.
Very selfish person and your fiance is going to regret chosing you.
What is his father gping to do? Let his family know he goes for hookers? Why should he. He would risk his relationship with his family and his reputation.
And imagine you have children later and the truth is revealed for some reason.
Mother hooker and did slept with their grandfather. Just because you wanted to be happy. You, you, you...
What goes around comes around. Next time treat your customers more kindly. Rhis includes your husband.
Every thing is just about you. You needed money and used men therefore. You foubd someone better, so you brushed the first guy off.
Now you want to get married. The guy is all you dreamed of before. You don't care if you are. You want something and you lie to him to get what you want.
The remprse for what you have done only comes from it now threatening your relationship.
Very selfish person and your fiance is going to regret chosing you.
What is his father gping to do? Let his family know he goes for hookers? Why should he. He would risk his relationship with his family and his reputation.
And imagine you have children later and the truth is revealed for some reason.
Mother hooker and did slept with their grandfather. Just because you wanted to be happy. You, you, you...
What goes around comes around. Next time treat your customers more kindly. Rhis includes your husband.
In the old days there were manual water pumps at our farms.If this is not a creative writing exercise...
You were a sex worker and that choice comes with lifelong consequences. Your fiance had/has the right to know. He should have been told long before it got to the meeting parents and engagement phase. It was wrong to allow this man to fall in love with you without knowing the object of his affection was a hooker.
You prostituted yourself to your fiance's father and you cannot marry him. It doesn't matter that you may not have had penis in vagina sex. You were his paid lover. You performed sexual acts and took payment for them. That it wasn't PIV is irrelevant. It would be cruel to your fiance, his father, his whole family, and you to remain involved in their lives in any way.
You needed to operate the handle many times, those up and downs, to get the water to flow.
The pump employed a check valve, that would release on the upstroke, then pump, going down, drawing forth the deep found water.
The pumps initially needed to be primed, prior to use.
All the pertinent facts in this Thread were presented, only too well.
Our collective well of knowledge, know well how these Threads need flow.
We have been well primed, all but the skeptics.
................................................................................
I concur, this dear man you love, must be abandoned.
There is no hope.
You must draw water, and a new man, not (nor ever) from your backyard.
What you described about young ladies in Mexico rings true.
It is a fallen country.
A failed State
I recommend moving, far north, far from your sowed oats.
You must become an orphan, claiming no past.
there is something wrong with this article
you've been with people for money for a few years, you're an experienced escort, you need to put aside your innocent teenage girl attitude
There's nothing you can do right now, you can go ahead and try to get married (you do)
you quietly break up with your fiancee and start living a new life (this will strain your finances)
Your real problem will be that his father asks you to sign a prenuptial agreement. If you cheat, you leave without buying anything, the proof is already ready.
you've been with people for money for a few years, you're an experienced escort, you need to put aside your innocent teenage girl attitude
There's nothing you can do right now, you can go ahead and try to get married (you do)
you quietly break up with your fiancee and start living a new life (this will strain your finances)
Your real problem will be that his father asks you to sign a prenuptial agreement. If you cheat, you leave without buying anything, the proof is already ready.
You're screwed, no pun intended. Your extremely poor judgement and low life character have caught up with you. Save your fiancé some long term pain, tell him that you used to be an escort, his dad was a client and now you've cheated with him. You haven't really changed one bit since you were on the gold digger site. After your fiancé dumps you, seek out counseling to figure out why you can't help but make stupid, life destroying choices.I don't even know if anyone can help me but I just need to vent. I'm 26 and my fiance is 27. We met 2 years ago and planned to get married next month in Mexico. Something low cost and simple. Several years back when I was in college, I did a lot of foolish things. This was before I met my husband. I was on a certain arrangement website and I would regularly sleep with wealthy men for money and gifts.
There was one man in particular who I saw early on. Very unattractive and obese. However, he gave me almost anything I asked for and treated me well. He could not maintain an erection through sex so I would normally jerk him off for pleasure and we would cuddle. Sometimes I'd sit on his face and ride his tongue but we never had vaginal sex with his penis. I was really disgusted by him but not because of his age, but because of his looks. He was sloppy and I'd feel uncomfortable with him in public. He told me about his wife and personal problems. I eventually connected with some men that were more my type so I started to brush him off until he got the message.
Eventually I stopped living that life when I got closer to graduation. A lot of girls did it so it didn't bother me. So fast forward to when I met the man I'm with now, he's everything I could ever want in a man. Attractive, funny, great career, and religious. We dated but never had sex. I found Christ through him. I told him that I wanted to wait until marriage to sleep with him because I wanted it to feel special. He agreed and the next week, presented me with an engagement ring.
Last year on his birthday, he invited me to meet his parents. I walked in and instantly recognized the man at the table. It was the man I was with back in college, his father! I felt like I saw a ghost but tried to act normal. I pretended to meet him for the first time. He had a big grin on his face and continued to smile too much at the table. I don't think my fiance noticed anything but I told him midway through that I felt ill and wanted to go home. I've seen his father several times since then and he'd always make smart remarks around me. My fiance told him that we were waiting until marriage for sex and his father burst out laughing. It's almost like he was torturing me and I felt humiliated.
This past November, I was at their home for Thanksgiving. I was alone in the kitchen and his father came in. He whispered that he wanted to restart what we had. I ignored him and walked out. Since then, he made remarks about wanting me. I really didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose my man. This past holiday, he told me that if I lay with him one last time, he would stop bothering me. He swore to God. I thought it over and we did it. He got a motel and I pleasured him like before. I really believed that he wouldn't bother me again but since then, every time we are alone, he tells me he wants me again. He's acting more aggressive too.
Two days ago, he called me and told me that if I don't sleep with him again, he will tell his son everything. I didn't respond and just hung up. I haven't left the house since. I haven't been sleeping and I feel suicidal. Every time something good happens in my life, something ruins it. My fiance has no idea I was that kind of girl back then. He has no idea I was with his father. I'm sure his mother doesn't know what her husband was doing either. I really just don't know what to do. No matter if I tell it or he tells it, my fiance will leave me. There is no way out of this. I'm tired of starting over and I really thought this would be it. I feel like there is no answer but I just want guidance if anyone can help.
I COMPLETELY agree. It was wrong for you to not disclose that you were a prostitute BEFORE your relationship got to the falling in love stage. I would say for you to come clean with your past immediately.If this is not a creative writing exercise...
You were a sex worker and that choice comes with lifelong consequences. Your fiance had/has the right to know. He should have been told long before it got to the meeting parents and engagement phase. It was wrong to allow this man to fall in love with you without knowing the object of his affection was a hooker.
You prostituted yourself to your fiance's father and you cannot marry him. It doesn't matter that you may not have had penis in vagina sex. You were his paid lover. You performed sexual acts and took payment for them. That it wasn't PIV is irrelevant. It would be cruel to your fiance, his father, his whole family, and you to remain involved in their lives in any way.
But in this case, with you having had sex with his father again, you must call off the engagement. Since his father had successfully blackmailed you into having sex with him again, you revealing that will cause a huge family squabble that could end up splitting their family. I doubt that your engagement would survive the blowback.
I advise you to gently break up with your fiancé. This can not and should not go forward
I'm pretty sure....not.I COMPLETELY agree. It was wrong for you to not disclose that you were a prostitute BEFORE your relationship got to the falling in love stage. I would say for you to come clean with your past immediately.
But in this case, with you having had sex with his father, you most likely will have to call off the engagement. Since his father is trying to blackmail you for sex, you revealing that will cause a huge family squabble that could end up splitting their family. Not sure if your engagement would survive the blowback.
Yeah, can't imagine family gathering's with Mom, Dad, Son, Dad's whre, I mean DIL.I'm pretty sure....not.
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