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Discussion Starter #1
Ok so here goes. This is extremely embarrassing to talk about but I know the men of TAM will come with sex answers everyday of the week.

I'll start with my husband has a hard time talking about sex, I tried yesterday to make it open and comfortable and I tried listening and I tried asking leading questions. For the first time he admitted he gets anxiety talking about sex and that trying to explain it to me made him more uncomfortable. He doesn't seem to mind if I say hey I'd like to try anal but if I ask him about his fantasies or what he likes or how he wants to be touched is when he seems to get anxious.

TLDR: Don't respond with ask your husband, it isn't helpful

Ok here's the novel. Yesterday we had sex and I went on top cause his back has been acting up. Then shortly after I get some oral and started riding again. Then a little later when I just grazed his penis in the shower with butt he backed up and said sorry it's just a little sensitive right now. He tried to explain it was overly stimulated (flacid). Now I try to take that at face value but it hasn't really happened much before. I was wondering about why now?

Here were some of my thoughts let me know what you think.
We normally use lube but I was wet and it slipped in easily so I didn't lube. But it does provide more friction and stimulation when using natural lube versus regular lube. So maybe it was too much friction?

We don't normally go back to back like that cause between our being out of shape and 50 he can't really orgasm a second time so it just kinda goes and then peters out and isn't as much fun as the first go. Usually we wait about 4 hours or more between sessions. We have done 3 in one day in the not too distant future but it was breakfast, lunch, dinner. So could it just be too much in a short time? Just overloaded sensations?

It is possible he just was worried I wanted to go a 3rd time and wasn't up for it. But I think he'd just tell me.

And I'm sure there are other possibilities that I hadn't thought of.

I'd like to narrow down what might be happening because I kinda like no lube when already wet. I kinda like back to back. But I would never want to 'hurt' him.

So if it is too much friction, how long before it would feel better?

Ok that was really hard. Be kind and helpful.
 

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It's probably as simple as the tip of the penis is very sensitive for a while after sex. If you do oral on him and he finishes, does he stop you shortly after he ejaculates? I don't think there's a problem here.
 

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The answer is: It depends.
Sometimes I can go multiple times a day plus masturbate and sometimes one sexual encounter is all I can handle. Sensitivity can be an issue... if it’s too much than it’s just too much.... especially directly on the head.

I understand you might like multiple rounds. Try to get one via oral before PIV or have him use a vibrator if y’all are into toys. They are VERY effective for my wife.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Oh he's very helpful and not too shy for toys. But I prefer his penis. We just were never the multiple in a day (before a few years ago) so I never really have had the back to back like that. I did enjoy it. I wouldn't mind trying to figure out how to make it happen more often :) Again that is difficult do to other issues.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
It's probably as simple as the tip of the penis is very sensitive for a while after sex. If you do oral on him and he finishes, does he stop you shortly after he ejaculates? I don't think there's a problem here.
I don't usually have him finish with oral. One when he starts to get near the end his penis swells where it doesn't fit well in my mouth. Second he and I prefer PIV.
 

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a little lube can go a long way.
If you rub your penis the wrong way, it can be painful for a full day afterward.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
a little lube can go a long way.
If you rub your penis the wrong way, it can be painful for a full day afterward.
Thank you for your thought

what exactly do you mean wrong? We had PIV sex with natural fluids running down my leg TMI? But I know my natural fluid isn't as slick as lube lube. So are you saying wrong way like just too much or that I may have ridden him wrong?

He orgasmed and of course never said anything about sensitive until the shower. There are times when he or I will say hey grab the lube. Our default mode is a little lube. But there are times either of us will stop in the middle and get a little more. So do you think he needed some and didn't speak up or that I rode him wrong?

I guess I'd like you to expound on wrong
 

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Discussion Starter #9
So how do the men of TAM who claim they get oral then go again do it?
Just built different?

or build up sensitivity over time?
 

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So how do the men of TAM who claim they get oral then go again do it?
Just built different?

or build up sensitivity over time?
If he orgasmed, he's just built different, at least for a while. The most I've done in a day is three. I did two different partners in one day (at different times), and I could have done another two, but that was really unusual. The motivation was intense.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
If he orgasmed, he's just built different, at least for a while. The most I've done in a day is three. I did two different partners in one day (at different times), and I could have done another two, but that was really unusual. The motivation was intense.
he orgasmed. within 15 minutes i used oral to resurrect and go again. Then 10 minutes we were in the shower.
 

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he orgasmed. within 15 minutes i used oral to resurrect and go again. Then 10 minutes we were in the shower.
Sounds like a good time. I still don't see a problem. How old are you and he?
 

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I have always been able to go multiple times in a day. Need about 30 minutes between sessions to recover. Most I have done is 4 times in one day. Not bragging just saying if I can do it as an early 50s guy, I bet many guys can if they want to.

Oral or intercourse doesn't seem to make a difference to me.

If we had sex more often I could give you better stats.

So in your case not sure why but maybe he was just sore? Or just wasn't in the mood?
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Sounds like a good time. I still don't see a problem. How old are you and he?
50 but if you tell anyone I'll deny it.

No it was a good time and he isn't complaining LOL. But since he doesn't communicate well about sex and now has expressed anxiety I thought I could get some more info here. I don't think I"ve ever had a man where we did two in one day except my husband. I have been more openly pursuing him for a few years and I don't want him to feel bad if he can't keep up with what I"m willing to do. Once he had some trouble getting hard but it was a week we did it 10 times. I was worried. TAM told me to give him a break. So I did and didn't worry about it.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I have always been able to go multiple times in a day. Need about 30 minutes between sessions to recover. Most I have done is 4 times in one day. Not bragging just saying if I can do it as an early 50s guy, I bet many guys can if they want to.

Oral or intercourse doesn't seem to make a difference to me.

If we had sex more often I could give you better stats.

So in your case not sure why but maybe he was just sore? Or just wasn't in the mood?
I'm thinking sore since he said it was sensitive but how much does it take to get it sore? Is it the natural lube verus lube?
 

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Question us all day, question him rarely.

Don't make him feel inadequate.
You already know this, stated this.

Riding a man cowboy really puts the boots to that little head.
Peyronie owes it's woes and its curves to hard power shifting and hard pounding.
From either partner, or both!

A penis can break.
It ain't glass, but it also ain't iron.

I get it, a slightly dryer VJ follows better the pumping motion.
There is that slight pulling sensation, in and out.
Both experiencing this.

Friction is a savior here, too much a sander.

Lucky he, lucky you.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Question us all day, question him rarely.

Don't make him feel inadequate.
You already know this, stated this.

Riding a man cowboy really puts the boots to that little head.
Peyronie owes it's woes and its curves to hard power shifting and hard pounding.
From either partner, or both!

A penis can break.
It ain't glass, but it also ain't iron.

I get it, a slightly dryer VJ follows better the pumping motion.
There is that slight pulling sensation, in and out.
Both experiencing this.

Friction is a savior here, too much a sander.

Lucky he, lucky you.
thank you Sun

FWIW it wasn't cowboy. So none of the bending back stuff.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
I think your thinking about this WAY TOO MUCH. Your searching for some kind of meaning in it. It doesn’t mean anything except it was sensitive at that time on that day....nothing more.
LOL. I get that. I'm not like worried. But some things can be fixed like I can use regular lube even though it felt better without it. But if it is just too soon I can't fix that. If oral makes things too sensitive I can fix that but if it is just sex in general I can't fix that.

When I say fix. I'm not saying it's broken. I'm saying I wouldn't mind a Saturday in bed with nothing but back to back sex. We all have to have goals :)
 

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When you say he said it was overly stimulated are you sure that meant painful or is it sensitive ticklish? I doubt is was sore, maybe a little but not enough to make him recoil. Now if things we very dry then with chafing, painful would make more sense but you would be in just as much pain if that were the case. The ticklish sensitive is more likely. That usually only last a little while so it should be a problem for multiple rounds.

If you enjoy going multiple rounds I suggest you do what my wife does and stay on the attack. There have been times when she has only let me out of bed to rehydrate. Exhausting but fun. Just make sure he is clear that you want more because you're enjoying it so much not because he didn't "get the job done" in round 1, or 2, or 3.
 
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