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What would you do if someone openly devoted themselves to you in every way in any particular way? Through any means of communication with heartfelt positive notion. Would you give in and connect with them no matter the distance or sacrifices you must take? Because, in some way you feel the exact same way.




Time passes and it’s everything you dreamed of- until an action that is repeated once more; that throws you over the edge. Confused and worried; fragile, delicate hands— fear with an overwhelming sadness. Because, you were betrayed in the most hurtful way of not being honest while at that time your lovers body is being feasted upon.






Would you forgive your wife/husband for cheating on you twice while not having remorse of confession?
Or leave them in a calmly matter?



Here's the raw story...



It's a beautiful day out to head over to the park with my cat cautiously riding on my shoulder; balancing himself from one shoulder to the next. Entering from the wood line near the pond where many different birds like ducks and geese as well as turtles are home to. I sit and patiently ponder my thoughts of the day while looking upon their playful gestures and thinking how amazing it'd be to not be alone in this world. (It's been quite some years since I've been with someone so close.) Now looking upwards toward across the water way I see a young lady walking delicately as she too; walks her Persian white furry friend. The moment was too perfect as I took in a deep breath and turned and walked the opposite direction as I was nervous in that moment. Not knowingly my best friend had run off in the other direction which is strange since he enjoys the free rides perched upon my height.



What do you know? He sought out the lady whom I admired afar's cat. They rubbed faces together and circled each other whilst bumping noses. The lady starts to giggle and smiles brightly. I gather myself with courage and thanked my friend later for breaking the ice for after many minutes of talking through our introductions we decided to walk together which lead to many weekends than week days spent together.



It was perfect- the moment we all long for- she says: "I am so happy with you. You're kind, creative, smart and funny. Everything I've ever dreamt about before. I love you." My world, my spirit and love was lifted and resurfaced. "I love you very much and I've waited so long to tell you this."



Weeks pass and she began to act a little odd when we were together again. I bit my tongue and kept quiet and enjoyed the next few days until I openly gave in to my suspicion. "Are you okay? Something's not right... I sense something has been bothering your mind lately." She denies and says "Everything is fine, I promise." And I smiled.



The very next day she comes home and what I mean by that- we moved in together almost right away because the many weeks together were terrific. We were both mature about things and gave each other space and the bond was just so natural we couldn't ask for anything more. She confesses of having sex with someone the evening she told me she loved me and I did not speak to you all about this before but, she made me promise to give ourselves to one another for the rest of our lives and I agreed.

Distraught and torn apart. Eyes watering while anger arose. I didn't not want to yell nor make any gestures that frightened her or anything negative in any way- I'm not that kind of person. So, of course I didn't. I instantly forgave her after being upset for hours and even a couple more days ahead however we got past it and everything was even better than before... or so I thought.

Nearly a month later she comes home from work very sad and very confused like to what I could observe. Again the feelings repeated themselves however this time was a little different- She was angry and spiteful and I am calm and mostly collective. She was texting during the entire conversation and her confessing she doesn't want to be together anymore. That made me so confused so I calmly asked what I am about to tell because I susected her mobile conversation was fueling her feelings so, I nicely asked may I see your phone. She slowly hands it to me with a blank stare. She was texting an ex that was saying stuff like "I want to be with you, come back. You're the only one who ever understands me." That upset me very much because her replies were comforting him in agreeing she wants to be with him but, not me anymore. I let her be- this is what she wanted- let her have it- (Yes, I did fight for her- I talked I talked it through with her calmly as possible and then I begged- I felt like I had no other choice. Swallowed my pride and let her go.)



She comes back after three days. We pour every ounce of emotion towards one another. As said she never does- and I always tell her she needs to have better communication with me and anyone else for that matter. She states: "I had sex with him."



At this point I want to leave- hurt I was. Betrayed to the fullest- to the fullest because, the night before she left we had one of the best intimate moments of our relationship as she whispers: "I want to have a child with you." That was a difficult thing to respond to in all honestly and I can't recall what my response to that was. Though later in the evening everything was great.



Emotions heightened and lowered while forgiveness became the best of me. I seriously in all heartfelt love forgave her again. I wanted her and just her. She knows this and she in the same-

A month goes by and she is brilliant! She has swore and promised to be better than she has been- the best! What I deserved and what she should have given me all this time.

Note: She never had or showed me directly any remorse of what she has done any of the times. (that does frighten me.)

Though the thing that haunts the most is her past actions. She seems to be able to forget so easily but, I cannot. Sometimes I get shaken up from the thoughts and blurt out like: "Why, did you do what you did?" Which leads to a more stressful and longer debate and what not. I just can't seem to stop bringing it up these past few days and I greatly need your advice on what ways would be best and fully forgive someone that you truly do love deep down and on the surface too.



Thanks, alot for your time in reading this and your response would be oh, so greatful!

Take care and best wishes to all.
 

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You have been deeply hurt by an affair. There's no advice someone can give you that's going to immediately turn off your emotions and feelings about what you have been through. Without her being open and honest and remorseful you will never be able to get over this a reconcile this relationship.
 
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