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It’s disgusting for me to hear about a cheater who is clearly still cheating, using “counselors” to literally emotionally abuse you...
Sir, Your wife not only doesn’t love you, she’s playing games with you.
not responding for 24hrs? When she does, 30 words, several of which tell you exactly how things are going to be. She’s not talking to you without a therapist?

You have a cheating wife that literally blames YOU for her lack of character.
She won’t even talk to you.

what you’re going to find is that she is going to do anything and everything she possibly can do—- things you won’t think are possible for a person of any conscience could do—-in screwing you over When she inevitably divorces you. Why not? You’re so awful you forced her to cheat! Shame on you!!! 🤢

I implore you to talk to a lawyer ASAP.
Yiu don’t realize because you are hurting so much, that there is a narrow window of opportunity while your wife still feels a possible hidden smidgen of guiit, to get an equitable divorce from this terrible person. When some time passes, and her family, friends, affair partner, and “IC” have finished coaching your wife into fully believing you are a villain, she is going to crush you. You have no experience with this, so you don’t Understand how every minute that goes by, puts you in further danger financially.

I assure you, it won’t be hard to replace an Unrepentant Chester who blames You for her own horrid behavior. Get rid of her and be in a position so that You can find love again when you’re ready.

there is nothing for you with this woman other than further emotional abuse. Have you ever seen a shark attack? Cold, lifeless eyes of a shark... I’ll bet that’s what your wife’s eyes look like when she’s taking to you now.
 

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What's funny, Chicago, is that nothing has changed.

1. She has no respect for you, and it shows in all of her actions.

2. It still...STILL...isn't enough for you to ACTUALLY be done. Instead, you pay more lip service, akin to "if it doesn't change I'm done"...

Bovine excrement. Talk. No action.

Maybe one day you will get sick and tired of being sick and tired, but you are clearly still not there yet.

Love yourself enough to refuse to tolerate the intolerable.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk
 

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Thankfully I am beginning to understand this
I hope you ain't just saying it to appease us. If what you say about your relationship is true, that girl's been giving you a shellacking since you reported it. I don't know what it is about some men that believe its better to hang on to a woman that perennially plays them for a fool rather than cut them loose and move on to newer and more caring models. My foolish brother is just like you. If I didn't know better, I'd swear you and him are the same person.
 

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She doesn’t intend to be honest with that therapist! She doesn’t intend to do ANYTHING and everything to repair that damage she created!

save the money - spend it on the lawyer to divorce her! The therapy money will be wasted money because she doesn’t intend to get honest about what she’s done to you.

quit being her chump. She’s playing you big time...but only because YOU allow it.
 

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Discussion Starter #687
Just wanted to update and thank everyone. Thank you for the support and guidance over the last two + months. I have a meeting with my lawyer today to finalize divorce papers and I have meet someone that has revitalized my love for life. I am happier now that I was at any point in the last 10 years of marriage. Everything happens for a reason and everything works out in the end

I will update everyone as I go along the divorce journey.
 

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Congrats on finding someone that revitalizes your love for life - YOU DESERVE TO LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE!

Distance yourself from her and expect her to attempt to love bomb you or manipulate you back into an abusive relationship.
 

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Discussion Starter #691
Just wanted to update everyone. As many of you had predicted it finally happened. I filed for divorce two week ago and the floodgates opened. Gifts being left at my door, numerous text, phone calls with messages saying she loves me and wants me back, misses Me. She is telling our friends she wants to get back together.

I have made up my mind and was ready for this thanks to you guys

staying strong
 

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Just wanted to update everyone. As many of you had predicted it finally happened. I filed for divorce two week ago and the floodgates opened. Gifts being left at my door, numerous text, phone calls with messages saying she loves me and wants me back, misses Me. She is telling our friends she wants to get back together.

I have made up my mind and was ready for this thanks to you guys

staying strong
Wow, that is bizarre. Thought you guys kind of agreed, even amicably, to move on.

Guessing when she tried to take it to the next step with her little crush boy, he rejected her. So she put all her eggs back in you, her Plan B.
 

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Wow, that is bizarre. Thought you guys kind of agreed, even amicably, to move on.

Guessing when she tried to take it to the next step with her little crush boy, he rejected her. So she put all her eggs back in you, her Plan B.
My thoughts exactly, he dumped her or she realized it was not going to be long term. She has finally realized what she threw away and its not sitting well with her. Kind of makes me happy in away but concerned that it will get out of hand. We will see

Either way I am better off and happy
 

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You tried your best to get her to recommit to the marriage and she fought you at every turn. I guarantee that she was on the phone to him when she got the divorce papers to tell him that she would be free of you in X months and they could finally move forward with their plans to be together. Then she got shut down by him saying it was just fun, he was not in love, and thanks for the good times but that is all there was to it. She then had her OH CRAP moment and she focused on getting back the marriage and life she willingly threw away.

I don't think she ever thought that you would actually file. I think she thought she was in total control of you like she was during the affair. It shocked her to see that you could and did move on.

Keep moving forward and good luck with your new life without being manipulated and controlled by your STBXW. Just stay strong.
 

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You tried your best to get her to recommit to the marriage and she fought you at every turn. I guarantee that she was on the phone to him when she got the divorce papers to tell him that she would be free of you in X months and they could finally move forward with their plans to be together. Then she got shut down by him saying it was just fun, he was not in love, and thanks for the good times but that is all there was to it. She then had her OH CRAP moment and she focused on getting back the marriage and life she willingly threw away.

I don't think she ever thought that you would actually file. I think she thought she was in total control of you like she was during the affair. It shocked her to see that you could and did move on.

Keep moving forward and good luck with your new life without being manipulated and controlled by your STBXW. Just stay strong.
Yes, exactly. There is no other explanation for the sudden change of heart. She even AGREED to end the marriage before. Now it's like no no no no. I don't think the timing of the divorce papers even played into it. It was all based on timing in HER life. She got dumped.

If Chicago took her back, she'd be all happy and loving until she found the next crush.
 

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Yes, exactly. There is no other explanation for the sudden change of heart. She even AGREED to end the marriage before. Now it's like no no no no. I don't think the timing of the divorce papers even played into it. It was all based on timing in HER life. She got dumped.

If Chicago took her back, she'd be all happy and loving until she found the next crush.
What is so funny, not to CH because he has lived this, is that it was so obvious that this was going to happen.

How many times has this happened, not always for sure, but when BF puts on the breaks and wifey thought they were so in love... I am just ROTFL...
 

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My thoughts exactly, he dumped her or she realized it was not going to be long term. She has finally realized what she threw away and its not sitting well with her. Kind of makes me happy in away but concerned that it will get out of hand. We will see

Either way I am better off and happy
The ferocity of my x fiance's pursuit of me has me shaking my head 25 years later. Never would I have imagined a well raised, mannered, professional, aspiring attorney would do the things she did for an entire year. A few examples:

  1. X arranged for me to spend the night with her while her new boyfriend attended a church retreat. Translated: Le'ts have sex so that I can get pregnant.
  2. Showed up at my new girlfriend's place of employment with three female friends. My girlfriend (now wife) just happen to be out to lunch.
  3. Knocked on my girlfriend's apartment door while she and I had gone to get a bite to eat.
  4. Knocked on my apartment door at 6:30am one morning. I just happened to be over my girlfriend's apartment that evening. Bullet dodge number 3.
  5. Conducted extensive research to identify the rental home my family was staying at to call and hang up on anyone that answered.
  6. The next year, had a friend of hers stop by and knock on the door of a vacation rental home 1,000 miles away. Her friend happen to be on the island at the same time. I don't know how she knew about my whereabouts. Guess what? Again, my wife and I had gone to the beach and missed them. 4th dodged bullet.
All this ended when I had to call the cops on her, which threatened her being disbarred from practicing law. I thought she'd go away on her own. Turns out I never closed the door firmly enough, so she kept at it.

So, to your point, don't underestimate anything. Much like your wife, my fiance' didn't know or think her affair would result in it being a deal breaker for me. To be honest, neither did I. Getting cheated on never crossed my mind for some reason. When it did, I was shocked. Weeks later, I was out.
 
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