I have felt quite ill since I last posted. I have been given ant-anxiety meds which helped me to sleep and today I fee la little bette rtodayUpdate?
It is still very quiet around here. I am in 180 mode.
The fact that he lies to me so easily has really shaken me to the core. I am now working on taking all the emotion out of the issue. I need to be mentally stable as I have some very important life changing decisions to make.
With every day that passes I seem to be coming back into the real world. Before I knew the truth or at least some of it I seemed to be in a dream world where nothing looked real. I am slowly getting back to the real world but I needed to take time away from the problem as I could feel myself going under.
He is now giving me everything I asked for - total transparency including polygraph. I think it might be a day late and a dollar short. I am not sure if I even care anymore. I know I can't/won't take another blow like this but the chances of it happening????
I can walk away from him knowing I have done everything I can to make it work, but first I have to stop caring because there is still a little love left in my heart for him.
I am almost at the end of my tether but the survivor in me tells me I need to look at things in a cold logical manner. I am beginning to do this now and I feel more in control of my feelings
I am not sure this makes sense but these are my thoughts at the moment.
Thank you for asking