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Found his stash of condoms

49K views 42 replies 26 participants last post by  Bajarang 
#1 ·
What would you do if you found condoms in the house that only your husband could have brought in? We don't use them.
 
#17 ·
The reason I thought of this is because I very recently had a minor injury where my partners ring accidentally ripped some of the delicate skin near the tip of my penis (ouch) and that area can be a little slow to heal, (especially for men who are circumcised and the skin in already a little tight and prone to irritation).

I had her pick up some condoms so I could put on some moisturizer & neosporin and keep it there for a while and give it a chance to absorb moisture and heal. (Thought I actually ended up finding a new clean baby sock worked well for said purpose and stayed in place quite well.)

I'm guessing they would not be hidden if they were being used for something like this and you would hopefully know if there was an injury of this sorts he was dealing with.

Sorry you are having to deal with what sounds like may be a bad situation.
 
#8 ·
I doubt it is the case with this husband but we (UK military) used to be issued with condoms on deployments to cover the open end of the rifle barrel and as emergency water carriers but then again we did keep a sealed tampon along with a fire striker in our webbing.
 
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#40 ·
About 12 years ago, I found a box of condoms hidden in our house. Same situation as you - we NEVER used them. I suspected my husband was having an affair....

When I confronted him, he said they were from before we were married. At that point, we had been married 6 years, and I had never seen them.
Sad situation, but your comment started me thinking:

Most condoms are latex based and because of that, they have a finite shelf life and an expiration date printed (sometimes in very fine print) somewhere on the foil.

This has been the case for many years now. Shelf life varies by brand, but typically it is four years.
 
#9 ·
Where did you find them? Did it appear that he was purposely hiding them?

Take note of the expiration date. That will give you a rough estimate of when they were purchased. And he won't be able to claim he had them for "years".

I had a boyfriend once tell me that he used them while self pleasuring. Said it was "less messy". This is the same boyfriend who pitched a fit the first time we had sex when I made him wear one. Whatevs.

:slap:
 
#10 ·
A couple of thoughts.

Do you have any teens in the house? I bought and gave my son some condoms.

I kept some myself. My wife has been snipped so we don't use condoms. But.... there are possibilities such as oral sex to completion. She doesn't like it, so if we use a condom maybe she would let me finish. Or, in the car or other location where a condom would greatly reduce the mess.

Perhaps your hubby is hoping for some new or different encounters which a condom would make more agreeable to you.

What other factors are there for you which would make the condoms either suspicious or not? For example, I put my condoms in my nightstand drawer. If anyone opens the drawer they will see the condoms right there. So obviously they are not being hidden. Has your husband's behavior changed otherwise? Have you looked at the phone bill to see if his texting has spiked, or if he is calling one number a lot?
 
#11 · (Edited)
Condoms have only ONE use, and that's for sex.
If he doesn't use condoms with you, then obviously he's using it with another woman or man.

Anyone of those options amounts to cheating.

Tell him you found his stash of condoms, tell you know that he's having sex with someone else [ especially is any of them are missing ]and demand to know the truth.

Do not accept any foolish excuses.

But be careful , he will try to make you think you're crazy.
Stick to your guns and always trust your gut.

EDIT:

Condoms have an expiry date on them. Check the expiry date to ascertain the timeline of its purchase.
In other words, if the expiry date is past, then they are old. If the condoms are still within the expiry date, then they were recently bought. Most condoms have a shelf life of between three to four years. Condoms manufactured this year would have an expiry date of 2016 - 2017. Condoms manuf lastyear would have an expiry date of 2015 - 20 16 and so on.
 
#13 ·
No kids in the house. They were hidden. The expiry date isn't as interesting as the manufactured date - May '12 (first thing I checked), so they are not old. I can't check his phone bill as he has a pay-as-you-go mobile, which, incidentally, is locked with a password.
 
#20 ·
What would I do...

I would stuff some of his clothes and his box of condoms in a bag and when he came home ask him to get out of my sight for a while. I would use that time to get my affairs in order. And if he DIDN'T leave, I would. I would need time to process what was going on. There is only ONE explanation for having condoms. ONE.
 
#21 ·
I wouldn't confront yet, key-log the computer, VAR the car, and try to find more evidence. You know that he is cheating, but if you find out with who you can nuke him and the affair instead of never having complete closure.
 
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#23 ·
The thing that stuck out to me is the fact that the condoms she found had a manufacturing date of May 2012. That's over a year ago. It's possible he was only cheating in the last half of 2012 and any evidence she might find in way of emails is long gone. And if he's not cheating now, a VAR will not help.

But regardless, I'm with A Bit Much on this one.

It's time to tap into your memory bank, OP. Any weird personality changes last year? Work schedule? Out with the boys more times than usual?

Can you check bank account records? Any unusual purchases/spending?
 
#24 ·
There is one other possibility, besides cheating.

Have you two been trying to have more children? Maybe secretly he's not on board with that idea and he's been slipping on a condom before you have sex. There is no pill for men, condoms are the only reliable method of birth control we can use, short of surgery.

But if he is cheating, hey, at least he's using protection.
 
#25 ·
There is one other possibility, besides cheating.

Have you two been trying to have more children? Maybe secretly he's not on board with that idea and he's been slipping on a condom before you have sex. There is no pill for men, condoms are the only reliable method of birth control we can use, short of surgery.

This would be a neat trick. I certainly can tell the difference between a condom and NO condom when having sex. And I'm sure many other women will say the same thing. We aren't THAT out of it in the throes of passion. :)

ETA: And not to mention... I'd be like 'what are you doing?' when he tries to put it on. You are aren't THAT stealthy when it comes to this sort of thing. lol
 
#33 ·
There are a number of programs out there which will log every keystroke on a computer. Many will also capture screen shots so that you can see whatever is on the screen, too. The programs will send the data to you in a way which is not detectible from the computer being monitored (email to you or available by some sort of remote access).

The process to install the software might take a while, so you need an uninterrupted period to do it. Also, very important, be certain to disable the anti-virus type programs during the install and tell the anti-virus to ignore the keylogger once it is installed. The keylogger website should have clear instructions on how to do this.

Ensure it is legal to install the keylogger. If it is your family computer in your home it should be legal. But if the computer is owned by an employer it may not be. If the monitored computer is involved in privileged data it might be illegal. For example, if the person works in the legal field, the health care field, or the financial field it could be a big problem if the monitoring is discovered.

If anything is discovered in the way of an affair do not confront yet. And never ever reveal how the data was found. Instead have a cover story such as the person left the email logged in and on the screen which you saw.
 
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