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Thank you for visiting Talk About Marriage (TAM).

In order to post on TAM, new members must first post a thread in New Member Forum - Introduce Yourself! After you have posted in the new member forum, you user account will be give permissions to post in all of the TAM forums.

Talk About Marriage is a forum to discuss marriage and relationships. Here, we interpret the word "marriage" loosely, recognizing that many different people from different cultures view marriage differently. Please observe our posting guidelines.

Forum Rules:

1. Treat others on the forum with dignity and respect. Personal attacks, name calling, hate speech, racist or sexist statements or attacks, sexual harassment, explicit sexual comments, promoting violence, will not be tolerated. The term “Personal” here extends to other TAM posters, their spouse, family members, and others might come up in discussion in their posts.

2. Do not call out suspected trolls on the open forum. If you believe a story is made up and/or a poster is a troll, do not call them out on the open forum. Instead report the thread to the moderators using the report button and explain that you think they are a troll. The moderators will make the determination and ban any user who is trolling the site.

3. No mean spirited bashing of a group. A pattern of mean spirited comments directed at a clearly defined group will result in a ban.

4. Do not post anything that resembles pornography. This could be in the form of pictures, video, or just people posting sex stories. The purpose of TAM is not to arouse others. Threads deemed for this purpose will be deleted. If your thread does not describe a problem you need help with, it is subject to deletion.

  • a. NO Posts or threads started just to explore sexual fantasies or for similar reasons; they will be deleted.

  • b. NO Polling members for sexual likes and dislikes; those threads will be deleted.

  • c. What IS Allowed: Informative Q&A from people looking for help with a problem and those who wish to provide constructive feedback. We realize that detailed descriptions are sometimes necessary to explain, and so we allow that. Visitors should be aware that they may encounter graphic discussions on sexuality in this section.

  • d. If you are a person who is easily offended by discussions about sexuality or sex acts, you may not want to read posts in “Sex in Marriage” section.

  • e. If threads in other sections are "sexuality related," moderators may move them to the “Sex in Marriage” section.

5. Do not create multiple accounts. On TAM, we allow one account per user. If it is discovered that you have multiple accounts, we reserve the right to ban you with or without warning. We realize that sometimes people do create more than one account when they are having difficulties with the forum, as some have done when they are not able to get a password reset email. If you do create a second account, please PM a moderator explaining that you have two or more accounts and the reason for this. The moderator will have your accounts merged or ban the extra accounts so that you have only one active account. If we don’t hear from you and see that you have more than one account, you will be banned.

6. You are responsible for anything you post on this website. We will not delete your posts or accounts upon request.

7. Be careful when offering advice. Offering advice that may be illegal and/or unethical (such as clearing all the money from joint bank accounts or suggesting that violence be used against a WS or an AP) and which could cause legal problems for another member of TAM will not be tolerated.

8. What happens in the Private Forum, stays in the Private Forum. Do not quote, copy and/or discuss anything posted in the Private Forum in any public forum.

9. If you make suicidal / homicidal statements on this website, and it is brought to our attention, we may choose to notify your internet service provider and / or police and provide them with any information we have to identify you.

10. Filter Bypass/Obscenity: A profanity filter is in place and any attempts to bypass it are forbidden. You MAY type words that are filtered, as long as they are not abusive towards other quests or violate any other rules; however, you must allow the filter to do its job. Do NOT try to filter the word yourself and do not try to use creative spelling to bypass the profanity filter. Also, posting images of videos of obscene gestures, linking to obscene web sites, posting obscene or graphic descriptions of a decidedly adult nature, and violating a standard of decent behavior is not allowed.

11. Sex in Marriage Forum is for asking for help and providing feedback only. All other threads there are subject to deletion. Do not post any content that would be inappropriate for young children to see. No graphic language, nude or sexually explicit images. Adult conversations about sex are acceptable in the sex section, as long as people are mindful to use proper terms (no "f" words, etc.) and be aware that our forums automatically censor foul language by turning the word into a series of "****."

12. No posting just to incite people or start arguments. (aka "trolls")

13. No posting new threads to continue arguments from locked threads.

14. No posting just to advertise products, services, or other websites. While it is ok to have a link to your website in your signature line once you become a "Member," affiliate links and paid posting are never allowed. "Registered Users" are no longer allowed to use signature links. (You must be active on the site for a little while in order to become a "Member").

If it is determined that your posts appear to be solely for the purpose of advertising, they will be deleted and the account will be banned. To avoid coming across as a spammer, make sure you post quality, relevant feedback for discussions. Spammers usually write one or two really general statements that could apply to most people's situations, in order to get a link to their website from Talk About Marriage.

We've had a lot of trouble with spam - that's why we've had to adopt these rules.

15. Be supportive of others and their desire to have happier, healthier relationships.

16. No duplicate posts. (Please don't post the same thing in more than one place.) Duplicate threads will be merged.

17. No hijacking threads. If your post is not on-topic for a particular thread, please start another thread for it rather than taking someone else's thread off-topic. Users who repeatedly hijack threads will be warned and potentially banned.

18. No personal ads for people seeking relationships or attempts to "hook up" with other members. This is not a "dating website."

19. No posts promoting illegal activity, or stating that the member posting provides any type of sexual / prostitution services.

20. In regards to deleting posts - please do not contact us asking for your posts to be deleted or undeleted.

21. In regards to deleting accounts – We do not delete users or cancel accounts, however You can delete any profile information you entered, by going through the "User CP" links (should show up at the top left while logged in). The same links you used to enter your profile information can be used to delete it.

22. User Banning

  • If you are banned from the site, you will have to wait for your ban to expire in order to delete your profile information.

  • If you are permanently banned from the site, you have lost the ability to post or delete profile information. We will not do it for you under any circumstances.

If you see some abbreviations used here and you aren't sure what they mean, check out our common message board acronyms thread:

Anything that does not fall within the guidelines above is subject to deletion by our moderators, and we won't always provide explanation other than pointing to these guidelines. Moderating Talk About Marriage is a very time-consuming process, so please be patient with our moderators and respect their decisions on these issues. Our moderators are volunteers, and without them, the site would not be able to run.

If you see some abbreviations used here and you aren't sure what they mean, check out our common message board acronyms thread:

I hope you enjoy the forum. :D
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