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“Woke” is urban slang for being increasingly aware of injustice or discrimination in society, especially racism. However some people seized on the term to further their own aims and now its almost militant in its use.
Or the ridiculous inability to make up one's own mind reflected by being easily swayed by the left leaning media mouthpiece outlets shock media's promotion that violence is acceptable .
 

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If we get politics here on TAM , outside of special political corner, you are going to lose a lot of members. I start feeling like I am in Fox News corner..
 

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If we get politics here on TAM , outside of special political corner, you are going to lose a lot of members. I start feeling like I am in Fox News corner..
I agree.

Sadly though I think that ship has sailed. Hopefully it will get better. Myself included.

That's why I try to not get into endless debates here anymore on politics or persons going wild about their perception of social justice.
 

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I think your real problem is she is treating politics like a religion which seems to be what a lot of people are doing now a days. In the sense that it becomes all consuming and ingrained in every part of their lives. To me this would be the same kind of situation as if an agnostic person would be married to someone who became a holy roller. This can create a lot of problems in a marriage.

I am right with you, this (left or right) would cause real problems in my marriage. You need to talk to her about it.
 

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I mean, if you hook up with someone based on what they believe, and then they just decide to change, yeah, I would want to know exactly what you changed into!
Do you teach your kids about political beliefs? Do you think people don't change?

Your core values shouldn't be political. We have a president who is not the best example of conservative or religious beliefs. Even though he represents a conservative party, personally he hasn't shown conservative values. How's that possible? He has changed his political affiliation a few times!!

My husband has guns. I hate guns. I don't know how to use a gun. Now that I think about it, I don't even know where they are stored at! Our friends are hunters who lean right. We lean left (my husband leans left and has guns, lol!) we have a good time together. How is that possible?

Our core values shouldn't be political. Our marriages shouldn't be political. The way you want to raise your kids shouldn't be political. Your religious beliefs shouldn't be political. People change.

Am I the only one who can separate one thing from another? My political views are not more important than my family or my friendships. Maybe we are lucky to have people in our lives who can appreciate what we bring to their lives.

And to me, the media is playing both sides the left and the right. Don't you people see it?
 

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A previous poster summed it up well, it's all about respect for each other and the relationship.
I have been with my wife for 28 years, married for 26.
I was 32, and she was 26 when we got married.
We were political opposites. I was a moderate to right Republican, and she was a liberal Democrat.
For about the first fifteen years, we would basically cancel each other out at the ballot box.
Time, experience and maturity changes people. My wife has discovered that.
I am now 58, and she is 52.
She is now a Republican, and in some areas, is probably more conservative than I am.
We have talked about it several times. She summed it up by saying that she was brainwashed, in that it was how she was raised and all she ever knew until she met me, did some research, and worked it out for herself.
Never did politics ever get in the way of our relationship. Neither of us would allow it.
 

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I used to think all races, cultures, religions, politics, that it all matters not. Sure it doesn't matter... on the bedroom. Building a life with someone however, having a future, these complications can destroy a relationship and it takes both parties to put in the effort to make it work.

Compromises must be made on both sides, so strong opinions and views - these just won't work.
 

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The only way you may be able to manage is if you both agree not to bring the subject up. I have family members who I dont agree with on things such as brexit, and we just avoid the subject. I would actually find it hard to be married to a guy who was the complete opposite to me politically, hence marrying someone who shares the core views.
I find woke people extremely annoying actually. Many of them are total hypocrites, not saying your wife is.
 

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She may have more of a social media problem than a political problem. If she is being persuaded more by social media than by conversations with you, that's a problem. It leaves no way to meet in the middle. If you subscribe to the right pages on social media, they will try to convince you that pigs fly - and some will believe it. Have you tried agreeing to get off social media? No social media is much better than a failed marriage.
 

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Discussion Starter #30
Thank you everyone for your replies; I'm reading through them all and processing the information before I reply individually. There are a lot of standpoints and opinions to work through, but I thank you all for your replies. It's nice to know that A) I'm not alone in this experience and B) there are people to talk to about this issue. Just being able to discuss it helps to process things.

Regarding the term 'woke" - I wasn't using it in a negative context as some people rushed enthusiastically to assume; to the best of my knowledge 'woke' referred to an ultra or extreme-left ideology. As I tried very hard to make clear in the original post I do not identify with the extreme left or the extreme right, and I have no time for the terminology and bias of either shade of extremist or the weaponization of terms and reactionary attacks.

Also thank you to all who did not make this into an "us VS them" political debate; again, in my original post I was very careful to display that my issue is not with her status as a registered Democrat, or our occasionally opposing ideals or values, and I think the vast majority of people who read and replied understood that.

Thank you all, I hope the replies keep coming, this is honestly helpful I think.
 

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Your core values shouldn't be political. We have a president who is not the best example of conservative or religious beliefs. Even though he represents a conservative party, personally he hasn't shown conservative values. How's that possible? He has changed his political affiliation a few times!!
Perhaps they shouldn't, but the world has made in increasingly difficult to separate the two.

I haven't been outside my house for more than 60 seconds at a time in 5 days because of hazardous smoke. Now the conversation about if we humans are partially to blame is a political argument. It shouldn't be.

Before that, I wore a mask in public, which, you guessed it, is apparently now a political statement.

I had to severely restrict my social media connections to close friends and family because the politics was becoming intrusive, from all sides.

It seems now that politics will find you, whether you want it to or not.
 

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Regarding the term 'woke" - I wasn't using it in a negative context as some people rushed enthusiastically to assume; to the best of my knowledge 'woke' referred to an ultra or extreme-left ideology. As I tried very hard to make clear in the original post I do not identify with the extreme left or the extreme right, and I have no time for the terminology and bias of either shade of extremist or the weaponization of terms and reactionary attacks.
I have a daughter who probably qualifies for the definition of woke. She's something of a social justice warrior.

I temper our interactions with the realization that everything she does comes from a place of wanting to make the world a better place, especially for those who have not historically had much of a voice. That I find some of what she stands for patronizing, counter-productive, or just plain silly does not diminish from the underlying intent. That my passions don't match hers isn't relevant as long as we can say to each other "please give it a rest for a little while. I hear you".
 

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My only warning to you was along the lines of how it sounded. Woke is not a positive term in my mind, and I do not think you were using it positively either.

If you want to build bridges, it starts with respecting people and careful word choice can keep you from blowing that out of the water in the first sentence.
 

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This is the second time I personally seen a thread like this, of politics splitting a couple apart. I never seen it before in the past on this forum - religion yes, culture yes... sadly a sign of the times.

Same solution though; compromises. Yet some beliefs are so firm there's just nothing you can do and agreeing to disagree is just not good enough.
 

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Discussion Starter #36
My only warning to you was along the lines of how it sounded. Woke is not a positive term in my mind, and I do not think you were using it positively either.

If you want to build bridges, it starts with respecting people and careful word choice can keep you from blowing that out of the water in the first sentence.
This is the issue; in your mind. I'm afraid I'm not responsible for your emotional reaction to things. Only my own and my own reactions and intentions. And your assumption/accusation of how I was using it is also not my responsibility.
I can tell you what my intention was, and have in fact; please do not project your hypothesis regarding what you "think" I mean, and I'll offer you the same respect if and when I reply by not projecting my personal issues and biases onto messages you send. Thank you for listening.
 

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Discussion Starter #37
I have a daughter who probably qualifies for the definition of woke. She's something of a social justice warrior.

I temper our interactions with the realization that everything she does comes from a place of wanting to make the world a better place, especially for those who have not historically had much of a voice. That I find some of what she stands for patronizing, counter-productive, or just plain silly does not diminish from the underlying intent. That my passions don't match hers isn't relevant as long as we can say to each other "please give it a rest for a little while. I hear you".
Thank you for this reply. I really have tried to adopt this mindset but my wife's (as you put it) "SJW" tendencies (new-found) run counter to so much of what I believe. It's difficult. You're 100% correct, I think she's coming from a place of good intentions, I think she thinks she's becoming one of the "good guys", but it's just more polar-definition, US vs THEM, "I'm good they're evil", totally intolerant thinking. Again, like you said, patronizing, but I also find it often to be superior and elitist and condescending. It's a mindset I've always had an issue with. Same with the other side of the spectrum. I'm not looking for her to become a hard-right Nationalist either. I just miss that she used to recognize how ridiculous ALL extremists are; not just the ones she disagrees with.
 

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This is the issue; in your mind. I'm afraid I'm not responsible for your emotional reaction to things. Only my own and my own reactions and intentions. And your assumption/accusation of how I was using it is also not my responsibility.
I can tell you what my intention was, and have in fact; please do not project your hypothesis regarding what you "think" I mean, and I'll offer you the same respect if and when I reply by not projecting my personal issues and biases onto messages you send. Thank you for listening.
He is actually right. You want to reconcile, stop using emotionally charged words.,”woke” is what right uses for progressives and no it doesn’t have neutral conotation. Maybe it is not your wife who is so far to the left, maybe you moved to the right too?
 
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If the opinions are that strong then the compatibility is just not there.

Had a discussion with my partner about this, because politics aside, left or right, we both have quite strong opinions on some issues. We both agreed, if we didn't share these views we wouldn't be as open as we are to each other, and it probably wouldn't work. Although we don't identify as left or right leaning, we can be quite elitist, supremist, and condescending to others we consider inferior as individuals, while others may not be as callous as us, and that's fine.

Think another poster nailed when they mentioned "Core values", and quite frankly I think it's make or break material really.
 

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This is the issue; in your mind. I'm afraid I'm not responsible for your emotional reaction to things. Only my own and my own reactions and intentions. And your assumption/accusation of how I was using it is also not my responsibility.
I can tell you what my intention was, and have in fact; please do not project your hypothesis regarding what you "think" I mean, and I'll offer you the same respect if and when I reply by not projecting my personal issues and biases onto messages you send. Thank you for listening.
Let me know how your compromise works out when you start it with lobbing emotional grenades then demanding your intentions are not as interpreted.

When having a conversation, you are responsible for your word choice and the effects it may have. The fact that you put the term in quotes every time you used it, indicates to me you know it carries baggage.

have fun, good luck. I can tell you women love being told they misunderstood what you meant.
 
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