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As a new member, I want to thank the creators of this forum as well as the community of members for providing feedback, advice, and encouragement.
I’m a practicing Catholic and was a virgin until my wedding night last year when I was 25 years old. I was raised in a religious family, and was essentially brainwashed into believing I should not have premarital sex even though I had more than a handful of opportunities prior to getting married.
So now I’ve been married for a little over 1 year to my husband who is 20 yrs older than me. He’s 46 and has a daughter from a previous marriage.
I have very limited sexual experience other than with him. When we were dating and then engaged he respected my beliefs, and honored no sex until we were married. For a brief time right after getting married we had what I would describe as ‘traditional’ ‘vanilla’ vaginal sex; and also I’ve never been particularly fond of giving oral sex which frustrates him – I know.
Then about two months into our marriage, he confided he wants to approach sex more like he’s the older more experienced one (which he is) and he wants to ‘corrupt’ me – like I’m totally innocent and he’s going to just ‘have his way with me’ as he ‘teaches me’ about more ‘imaginative sexual exploration’. These quotes are phrases he often uses when trying to convince me that I should ‘surrender my inhibitions’ and that the only way I’m going to ‘grow sexually’ is to submit to him ‘totally’.
What I can’t wrap my head around is he wants me to act like I’m a teenage schoolgirl and wear a very real school uniform in a lead up to sex. What especially creeps me out is that he bought the same EXACT uniform his 15 year old daughter wears to her school. This isn’t a skimpy sexy outfit like adult strippers might wear, but is a real schoolgirl uniform from his daughter’s school!
I cringe as a write this because the whole thing creeps me out - when I emerge from the bathroom after putting "it" on, he becomes very aggressive, - one of the big things he wants is to spank me – I’m not talking a smack on the butt during sex – but rather pulling me over his knee and spanking me for REAL to the point that I’m literally (not playfully) begging him to stop.
Then his thing is to demand oral sex from me the way HE wants it – (him holding my head and totally controlling when I can back off, which makes me want to puke.)
What I don’t get is does he envision doing this to his own daughter by having me dress like her in the same school outfit? Am I supposed to be her, or just someone her age in his mind? Does he resent me for not being more experienced and liberal in my sexual limits even though he respected my sexual inexperience before getting married?
I am to the point where I physically feel sick when he wants to have sex, and don’t understand where all of this came from or how to even begin correcting it.
I’m a practicing Catholic and was a virgin until my wedding night last year when I was 25 years old. I was raised in a religious family, and was essentially brainwashed into believing I should not have premarital sex even though I had more than a handful of opportunities prior to getting married.
So now I’ve been married for a little over 1 year to my husband who is 20 yrs older than me. He’s 46 and has a daughter from a previous marriage.
I have very limited sexual experience other than with him. When we were dating and then engaged he respected my beliefs, and honored no sex until we were married. For a brief time right after getting married we had what I would describe as ‘traditional’ ‘vanilla’ vaginal sex; and also I’ve never been particularly fond of giving oral sex which frustrates him – I know.
Then about two months into our marriage, he confided he wants to approach sex more like he’s the older more experienced one (which he is) and he wants to ‘corrupt’ me – like I’m totally innocent and he’s going to just ‘have his way with me’ as he ‘teaches me’ about more ‘imaginative sexual exploration’. These quotes are phrases he often uses when trying to convince me that I should ‘surrender my inhibitions’ and that the only way I’m going to ‘grow sexually’ is to submit to him ‘totally’.
What I can’t wrap my head around is he wants me to act like I’m a teenage schoolgirl and wear a very real school uniform in a lead up to sex. What especially creeps me out is that he bought the same EXACT uniform his 15 year old daughter wears to her school. This isn’t a skimpy sexy outfit like adult strippers might wear, but is a real schoolgirl uniform from his daughter’s school!
I cringe as a write this because the whole thing creeps me out - when I emerge from the bathroom after putting "it" on, he becomes very aggressive, - one of the big things he wants is to spank me – I’m not talking a smack on the butt during sex – but rather pulling me over his knee and spanking me for REAL to the point that I’m literally (not playfully) begging him to stop.
Then his thing is to demand oral sex from me the way HE wants it – (him holding my head and totally controlling when I can back off, which makes me want to puke.)
What I don’t get is does he envision doing this to his own daughter by having me dress like her in the same school outfit? Am I supposed to be her, or just someone her age in his mind? Does he resent me for not being more experienced and liberal in my sexual limits even though he respected my sexual inexperience before getting married?
I am to the point where I physically feel sick when he wants to have sex, and don’t understand where all of this came from or how to even begin correcting it.