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Discussion Starter #1
What is the appeal? Why is it so captivating? How many hours do you spend on there daily? I'm just trying to understand. I guess I don't see its allure. My stbx spent time on there before he moved out. And now he can't even focus on work for having to be on there. It seems he is always on there typing. Our business is not in very good shape for a number of reasons. Yesterday I identified yet another reason. He is spending four out of 10 hours during the work day on there (doing whatever you all do on there).

I received another penalty (for $1000) yesterday for paperwork not being turned in by the deadline. He had two months in which to do it. In addition to that, our payroll is double what others are in the industry. If our business is to survive, I need him off of FB and actually working. Any ideas on breaking the habit?
 

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Facebook is the only account I have online under my real name. I only connect to high school friends, real life friends, and relatives. I read their daily blurbs on their wall, and occasionally get a new friend add on, and a few friendly PM's. That's it, it takes me maybe 1 minutes a day. On this forum, I can spend an hour a day, reading and posting. In the past, I was an online addict and instant message and chatted for hours a day. It was a true addcition where I knew it was too much and a huge distraction, but I could not stay away. It was worse than drugs. Since Facebook does have a chat feature, I bet your Hubby is chatting with Facebook friends. I think it has online games too, but I never tried them. He needs to separate work from leisure. Going cold turkey may be the only option. I did it by finding less active sites, and not pm anyone.
 

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I am on FB (MS, several forums, emails, dozens of simultaneous web pages).

During the business day, I have some time to browse them and catch up. In the evenings and weekend, same thing. (yeah, I know...no life :) )

I only use FB and MS for keeping up with friends & family. The forums to learn and share. The emails to keep contact with friends not on other services.

These do not consume my time, but occupy my SPARE time. I certainly wouldn't put any of them before a SO!

As for breaking the habit...I'd say get rid of the computer but if it's in the business, you probably can't.

Can you remove/cancel internet access? Or possibly using something like Netnanny to block access.
 

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Discussion Starter #4 (Edited)
Sensitive & dcrim, thanks for the responses. I'm really at a loss as to what to do. I know I will say something today because I'm beyond fed up with him. I don't know what I'm going to say though. Yet, another stressful day in store for me. The computers are an integral part of the business, so they must stay. I'm not sure Net Nanny would work. He is a computer whiz, so he would find a way to disable it. In addition, he would just use his iphone. I'm pretty sure he is chatting with girl friends and family, so it's a tough situation all the way around. There is also a game on there which I've seen him playing a lot. He needs to do those activities outside of work though.
 

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I go on Facebook once a month or longer lol. I try to get on regularly for a friend that asked, but I fail to do so.

There is nothing in my mind magical about facebook. They offer no music, their pages aren't customizable so no fun trying to practice php or html, and everyone in your list knows what you post to everyone else, and it's really hard to figure out how 'not' to let that default.

I get tired of hearing Bob kissed Lucy in the update of friends pages.

So I don't see why it's captivating but...maybe it's the social aspect. I think it's the people and the connection, the social aspect. So maybe that's why. I can't get into the Myspace/Facebook/Social gathering things. But I think it's a keep in touch thing, that was the only reason I ever made an account with them, and even if I don't go on much, I know a lot of people who are obsessed with checking their mail.

I don't know about your husband. I know that one time I was really addicted to another website. I don't know why but I kept going back and then well...the 'hype' died out on it's own. So maybe it'll die out with your husband, but if it doesn't, or if you want to do something about it. Maybe you should bring it to his attention, and try to compromise something with him.
 

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My wife I believe is addicted to Facebook.

She will stay up all hours of the night (Ive heard she sometimes posts as 5:30 in the morning). Then she cant get up with the kids. they have to bother her till she will get up.

Unacceptable.

Lord only knows who she was talking to and what she was saying. Its how she got hooked up with her new pal. A reconnect with an old friend.

Facebook can be very dangerous to relationships, especially with those who cant handle it properly.

Im not fan. Never have been, never will be.
 

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What is the appeal?
~~~ I have no idea what people see in it, far as I can tell
lots of attention seekers.

Why is it so captivating?
~~~ I ask the same thing.

How many hours do you spend on there daily?
I'm just trying to understand. I guess I don't see its allure.

~~~ me either but I am not trying to impress anyone or people I hardly know.

Any ideas on breaking the habit?
~~~ you could try looking into a program that will not allow for its use. Or change the configurations on your computer so it won't let him into the site.
 

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My husbands adult daughter is on all those social networking sites, she is half naked in some of her pictures, drunk in others and making out with girls in others.
Husband told her she would be sorry because it could prevent her from getting a good job, into college.. etc...
so she put them on private. LOL !!!
 

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can't you set your computer not to go to the site? in many businesses they set the computers like that.

if you can't do it yourself, maybe you can hire someone to do it...
 

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Discussion Starter #12
It seems I'm not the only one who just doesn't get it. Glad I have plenty of company there. I've got to leave for work now. I know I'm going to say something to him about it. I guess we will be having fireworks in the South again today!
 

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Discussion Starter #13 (Edited)
can't you set your computer not to go to the site? in many businesses they set the computers like that.

if you can't do it yourself, maybe you can hire someone to do it...
When it comes to computers he is a genius. He would just fix the little inconvenience and be back at it. Or he will use his iphone.
 

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you could always do what millions of wives/ husbands, GF's and BF's do and make up a fake profile and contact him to see what he does on the site.
lol
 

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I use FB to keep up with old HS friends, and family. I'm on it maybe 10-15 minutes a day.

My wife, on the other hand, spends an hour or so a day on FB, the farm town thing has her hooked.

Neither of us message people constantly on there.

FB is blocked at work (but TAM is not?), so I can't get on it at work anyway as your husband does.
 

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Wow, how infuriating that your husband spends so much time on this type of stuff instead of helping you and he out of a difficult financial situation. It sounds as if he is overwhelmed by reality and prefers to "socialize" instead of concentrating on what he can do to improve your situation. My husband can get like that (we work together also) when he is depressed, he spends lots more time on the internet looking at all kinds of stuff to buy or probably porn as well. When you can see how this behavior affects your economic survival it can/does cause fireworks!! I never spend time at work on socializing or even this site. I prefer to concentrate on what I need to do. I have been exploring linkedin and twitter more to see what type of marketing etc can be accomplished, but I am not a social networker so it does not really affect my time on task. I have never been able to figure out how to effectively "curtail" my husband's behavior that I don't like or understand. All I can offer is
1) Ask him to do a "time on task" weekly time report or install some type of software that tracks "billable" work. Then discuss this after a couple of weeks of history. Sometimes when employees are forced to track time, they do get more productive.
2) "Fire" him and see if there is anyone you can hire to do his job.
3) Then tell him to move out and grow up. Maybe having to take care of his own responsibilities would show him how much he has veered into fantasy land.

Hope your fireworks at least cleared the way for a solution. Good luck!
 

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For me, the appeal is in being able to chat in real time with friends you don't get to see, at a time that is convenient to both of you. With phone calls, you can often call at a bad time (and sometimes chats lead to phone calls since you are both free if you see each other on FB). With people who can be very funny, it's a different way to share humor--almost like an interactive stand up comedy routine with two people (sometimes phone calls are like that, but conversation tends to be more "real life" centered, I've noticed.) I only chat much with people who make me laugh a lot, and I do the same for them--make them laugh. Also, kids and other background noise is less of a problem since the other person can't hear them and the noise doesn't make it hard to read or type.

I only check FB occasionally at work during my lunch. I'm too busy and so are most of the people I know. I like it in the evening, instead of watching TV. It has cut into my reading time, but I still read too and of course always will. I'd rather chat than watch TV, however.
 

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Facebook is not my life but I am on it. I keep friends posted about my weight loss & other events going on in my life. My friends are coworkers, graduate students from our college program, weight loss people, & high school friends (no exbf's).

Unfortunately, my DH is on there but I am not his friend. But his online girlfriend is & stated that she is in a relationship with him. She also made sure to make it extremely public which I know was for my benefit. He didn't know that she had done that until today. His is private so no one but he approves can read it. She has his password so she put eveything together on his book with out telling him.

God I love facebook. She pretty much burned him by doing what she did. lol
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Update--I did bring up the little problem to him at work. He didn't have much to say. He stayed off of FB for most of the morning. However, by 2pm he was right back at it. It is clearly an addiction (right along with spending money). I don't know what else to do. The poor divorce lawyer has had a time trying to stop his OCD with spending money. I could just see me calling the attorney about the FB OCD!

I still just don't see the intrigue with FB or MS. Sure I got accounts; but, I never did a darn thing with them. None of my friends do them, so what's the point.
 
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