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Ok I’m curious to see men’s comments on why you’ve wanted casual dating with someone, or at one time had that, and are in a serious relationship etc. what was the reason for casually dating?

Was it to experience sex with different partners?

Was it Because you were commitment phobe and wanted NO commitment of any kind?

And. Have you ever did casual and fell in love?
 

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I did casual dating so I could meet a lot of women, with the idea that eventually I'd meet someone who would be a fantastic match. I knew most of women I met would not work out long term, and that turned out to be true. I did meet my wonderful match - and eventually married her.
 

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So the women who weren’t long term. Did you just have a hunch or did you go out with them for a bit, and you just knew?
 

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So the women who weren’t long term. Did you just have a hunch or did you go out with them for a bit, and you just knew?
You can't know how good a match someone is before you've gone on a date or two. You can have a hunch about someone, but they don't necessarily work out. Only time and interaction proves out. Even when you think you've found someone ideal, it takes two years or more to be certain. Some of the short-term women were great - but weren't marriage material (that wasn't always clear early on, of course).
 

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Ok I’m curious to see men’s comments on why you’ve wanted casual dating with someone, or at one time had that, and are in a serious relationship etc. what was the reason for casually dating?

Was it to experience sex with different partners?

Was it Because you were commitment phobe and wanted NO commitment of any kind?

And. Have you ever did casual and fell in love?
Because women are interesting, romance is fun, and sex is fun, too.

But just because you're not ready to settle down doesn't mean you don't want those things.

Sure, I've fallen for women while in casual relationships. I've had women fall for me in casual relationships. Life is not without risk.

I wasn't a commitment phobe - I've been married twice. But after I got divorced and before I was ready to be serious, I dated around like crazy. Why not?
 

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Ok I’m curious to see men’s comments on why you’ve wanted casual dating with someone, or at one time had that, and are in a serious relationship etc. what was the reason for casually dating?

Was it to experience sex with different partners?

Was it Because you were commitment phobe and wanted NO commitment of any kind?

And. Have you ever did casual and fell in love?
Sue, how about you join us down in the singles thread in the life after divorce section.

As for this post, please just don’t date this guy. He isn’t looking for the same thing you are.
 

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Because I was not mentally or emotionally capable of attachment hence casual dating suited me for a very long time. After meeting women of some quality I did gravitate towards mental attachment and even sometimes confused love with any sort of emotional or friendly attachment however I put a stop to that years ago as I ended up leading women (and myself) on, sometimes for years, even with a marriage.

After that long spell I met someone that changed me completely and still in love and still with her today. She was never a casual with me.
 

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Because I was not mentally or emotionally capable of attachment hence casual dating suited me for a very long time. After meeting women of some quality I did gravitate towards mental attachment and even sometimes confused love with any sort of emotional or friendly attachment however I put a stop to that years ago as I ended up leading women (and myself) on, sometimes for years, even with a marriage.

After that long spell I met someone that changed me completely and still in love and still with her today. She was never a casual with me.
I think this is a great post. And when you just aren’t ready for it, a connection can’t happen. Sometimes we have periods in our lives when we don’t want to connect with others because we are connecting with ourselves and that’s the priority.

Then suddenly when you are ready to connect with another person and the right person comes along, you don’t feel casual about it.
 

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I can only speak for myself but casual dating for me was ideal after my marriage ended. I didn't really want to get serious right away, so I looked for like minded people. Those that were recently separated or just got out of long term relationships. With that said eventually one of them did turn into a long term relationship.

On the flip side of things. The women I had casual relationships with had their reasons too. Some just wanted something light and not heavy after long term relationships. Two others were focused on Phd or law school and didn't want anything serious. Basically casual is for when you just want someone fun to have sex with and go out on dates with but no commitment. I felt like the friendships were legit Its kind of weird being in this position though. Its not like you're friend zoned, but at the same time its not unusual to actually talk to them about the guys they are dating and even give them advice. If they become serious about someone your time as an FWB will end. I was in this position because most of the women I met were leery about letting their guard down for a guy that was recently separated, but they liked me enough to put me in the "booty call" box. In retrospect they were right to do so. I thought I was fine but i wasn't. It took me quite a while to figure out what I wanted.
 

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Ok I’m curious to see men’s comments on why you’ve wanted casual dating with someone, or at one time had that, and are in a serious relationship etc. what was the reason for casually dating?


Was it to experience sex with different partners
?

When a woman such as yourself has sex with a partner, what is your expectation? Is it solely to become committed and then marriage must be the end goal?


Was it Because you were commitment phobe and wanted NO commitment of any kind?


Some think sex means commitment, such as yourself, thinking a phobe must be the reason that you don't want to give sex unless theirs a reassurance of exclusiveness. While noble it isn't a reality if the partner of your choosing, was betrayed or disrespected by his former partner / spouse. And used sex to keep the relationship, to their advantage.

And. Have you ever did casual and fell in love?

I think this applies if and when, a person other traits are shown and exposed and the mutual bond of trust beyond sex is met. The as in all other things. But to expect a full commitment because of sex is going to be a let down after let down. Because that isn't the norm what the world tells them to do after a bad marriage or relationship, it is to seek and take ones time about jumping in to another bad relationship.
 

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That's it 100%. Women can be so interesting, so intriguing and so much fun to be with. And sex is good too :)

But I'm married and i don't do the dating thing no more.
Same, because I like all those things from my wife more than I'd ever want them from someone else.
 

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Ok I’m curious to see men’s comments on why you’ve wanted casual dating with someone, or at one time had that, and are in a serious relationship etc. what was the reason for casually dating?

Was it to experience sex with different partners?

Was it Because you were commitment phobe and wanted NO commitment of any kind?

And. Have you ever did casual and fell in love?
Before I met my wife of 48+ years, I casually dated other women while a senior in high school and freshman in college. I was the first one in my parent's families to go to a 4 year college and there were high expectations placed upon me. I was focused on getting my degree and a good job. I was socially active and participated in all the things my college house did, including mixers with women, etc. I was and wasn't a nerd, but a smart nerd with earning potential. That made me "marriage material" to some of the women I dated.

Did I experience sex? Well yes and no. Early on, while casual dating, it was making out, mutual relief with women and anything but PIV. This was when it was uncommon for women to be "on the pill." I really didn't want to "have to marry" someone, get a job and drop out of the university, which would have been the culturally appropriate and expected thing to do.

As to commitment phobia, I wanted to enjoy female companionship and have a "date" for the next weekend. I actually met my wife late in my freshman year, but she wasn't as "free" with me as other women, so it was very casual.

The next year she went to a university in another state and we wrote some letters back and forth and when she visited on the holidays we would try to go out on a date. During this year, I got quite serious with another woman (took some trips with her and shared a hotel room), but it didn't work out.

The year following, the woman who became my wife transferred to the university that I went to. She sought me out and we dated frequently, then exclusively, then we became lovers (and yes she was on the pill) in my Junior year. Around Christmas of my senior year she told me that it was time that I should buy her a ring and we should set a wedding date. I guess it was at that point that I learned I was no longer avoiding commitment. After graduating my senior year we married. I did a year of graduate studies funded by scholarships, while she finished her degree.

That was over 48 years ago. I think that there is value in casual dating as you get to know yourself, you get to know others and you get to know someone "special" before things turn serious.

good luck
 

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Well, I'm probably not the usual guy on this site or in the general population. Nor am I in LTR, so not sure I'm what you're looking for. But who cares, let's give unsolicited opinions anyway!

I do casual dating for two broad reasons.

Firstly, it's fun, easy, convenient, good for work, etc.,
I wanted to go out Friday. First girl I asked was busy, so I went to the next name on the list. Easy.
Having different girls to choose from, and get to bed...lots of fun! I also expect I'm not the only guy that they're dating, so I'm no hypocrite there.
Also, I have girls for the environment. One girl I know, no tats, pretty, in med school, intelligent, she is the family/work date, because she fits the environment, coworkers won't judge me, knows how to talk, etc., Other nights, I'll be playing football in the ghetto, or my teammates will invite me to some club or bar in the ghetto (where I stick out like a sore thumb), I know a girl that is much more comfortable in that environment.
I also live a busy life. Work, travelling for work, my football hobby, that takes a lot. I doubt I can give a girl the time or whatever else she wants from a guy. I don't expect it from anyone I'm dating, hence, why I have multiple.

Second reason, I feel like it protects me.
I've been emotionally destroyed by my parents, and already had an ex that cheated on me.
While some girls try to get all...emotional, and...whatever else with me, even though it's casual, keeping it casual keeps me safe. I don't have the heartache when one tells me she met someone. Or when another ghosts me. When the girl I asked out Friday said she was busy, I wasn't busy thinking "Oh, is it another guy? Is she sleeping with him?" I just said that's fine, and went to someone else, and had fun.


Now, if you asked me would I ever stop and pick one, certainly. The clean-cut medschool girl, I would really like to. But why does an east-coast, pretty, future-doctor want some nerdy, mid-west accountant guy? I imagine she'll wise-up and eventually leave me when she meets some other guy, probably another doctor, in her practice, that's older and more successful than I can ever be, so I'll just take what I can get in the meantime.
So casual dating it is!
 
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