For the HD people; how does your partner react if you say no?

2158 Views 20 Replies 19 Participants Last post by Woodchuck, Dec 2, 2012

kingsfan

Discussion Starter · Nov 25, 2012

As the HD people in a relationship, most rarely say no to sex. But assuming you do say no (and not due to illness, etc. but just because you're not really in the mood) how does your partner react if you say no?

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1 - 20 of 21 Posts

TrustInUs

· #2 · Nov 25, 2012

I know you are asking the HDs,but I can tell you that the very few times that my H has said no I just let it roll off my shoulders. It's rare for him to tell me and its usually when he's really really tired or not feeling well.

Now at first I was too sensitive about it because I don't reject him, and that was during a time when I was really shy about initiating. But now its not such a big deal.

TCSRedhead

· #3 · Nov 25, 2012

Before = not well. Now, he just says we'll get to it later. It's really, really rare that I turn him down though.
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Robrobb

· #4 · Nov 25, 2012

I can remember refusing only once. Her response was......unwelcome.

that_girl

· #5 · Nov 25, 2012

My husband laughed. Then he said, "Really? dang!" And it was so cute, I ended up sleeping with him.

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unbelievable

· #6 · Nov 25, 2012

Turn down sex? Don't believe i ever have and if I ever do, call 911 and get an ambulance rolling. I'd have to have one foot in the grave one the other on a banana peel.

johnnycomelately

· #7 · Nov 25, 2012

I tried once and she kept at me until I gave in...I lasted less than 5 minutes.

Zing

· #8 · Nov 26, 2012

We've been married 10 years and in our early thirties. My husband and I, have both had different drives at different points in time.

Me rejecting my husband's advances resulted in -mostly calm acceptance, an occasional snap and on even rarer occasions a full-blown argument.
Husband rejecting/being totally oblivious to my advances resulted in - silent tears, confrontation, TAM, purchasing L-arginine/Vit C/Zinc, purchasing sexy lingerie, drama and the sort! LOL

Yes...yes some women don't take rejection very sportively!

effess

· #9 · Nov 26, 2012

kingsfan said:
As the HD people in a relationship, most rarely say no to sex. But assuming you do say no (and not due to illness, etc. but just because you're not really in the mood) how does your partner react if you say no?

usually i get a quizzical look and she either lets it go or pursues it a little further. she only initiates sex for my sake anyway ( not out of any desire for me ) so i don't think its any skin off her back to be turned down.

roostr

· #10 · Nov 26, 2012

kingsfan said:
As the HD people in a relationship, most rarely say no to sex. But assuming you do say no (and not due to illness, etc. but just because you're not really in the mood) how does your partner react if you say no?

If she did initiate and I refused her reaction would be similar to that of winning the lottery.

MEM2020

· #11 · Nov 26, 2012

Do not feel it is fair to say no to her. She has gone the extra mile to avoid saying no to me so many times......

My motto is: just say YES to sex

kingsfan said:
As the HD people in a relationship, most rarely say no to sex. But assuming you do say no (and not due to illness, etc. but just because you're not really in the mood) how does your partner react if you say no?

Reactions: 1

KendalMintcake

· #12 · Nov 26, 2012

I said no once to my LD wife. She looked at me and in the meanest way possible - I am not exaggerating said 'you are a f'ing *******' - as mean as you can imagine it was insane. Absolutely bat sh%t crazy like reaction!
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CanadianGuy

· #13 · Nov 26, 2012 (Edited)

It was as I came to bed. She said something about sex and I acted indifferent and said something kinda off the cuff and non hurtful and non committal. It was weird because she was expecting me to come on to her and I didn't. She woke me up at about three in the morning stroking me and said " are you going to f me now".....This coming from my wife who would never before have as brazenly initiated.

It was also posed as a question rather than a command. But that is what I think she does to protect herself ( LD ) from rejection in a way. She could have said " I want you to f me now". Eventually she will. lol.

Bellavista

· #14 · Nov 26, 2012

I cry.
Does not happen very often that H, the higher drive one, will turn me down. We have made a pact that if for some reason we cannot muster up the enthusiasim when one party wants sex, we will make a time in the near future & stick to it. That is fairly rare these days & is more due to fatigue or migranes than just not being in the mood.
I still feel very rejected if H does not want sex there & then though. I can only imagine the rejection I put him through in the first half of our marriage when I acted like having sex with him was the biggest annoyance of my life.

Reactions: 1

LittleDeer

· #15 · Nov 26, 2012

I don't say to to sex.

kingsfan

Discussion Starter · #16 · Nov 26, 2012

As I posted in another thread, and hence why I started this thread, as the HD person in my previous marriage and in my current relationship, I have rarely said no to sex. Maybe five times in my life. When I do say no though, I get questioned like I just turned down a winning lottery ticket or something. Considering at times in my past both my ex and my current fiancee made rejecting me look like an art form, I found it very odd that the rare times I'd say no would be met with such a reaction. I understand it being a bit more peculiar, considering that she rejects sex much more frequently than I, but it turns into the Spanish inquisition when i say no, like something is incredibly wrong, or I must be sick and dying or something.

I guess it gets frustrating. In my marriage, towards the end I didn't really want to have sex (with her anyways) but if she initiated I would have sex, but it was done more to avoid being questioned and accused of things. It was just easier to half ass my way through 10 minutes of mehhh sex than it was to be accused of who knows what and grilled for three days.

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TrustInUs

· #17 · Nov 26, 2012

While it's not fair, the LD person is probably shocked or hurt because they are used to the HD partner wanting sex more and rarely turning it down. Probably thinking something is wrong and not realizing that they do the same thing more frequently.

Reactions: 1

sinnister

· #18 · Nov 26, 2012

I said no last night. I actually had a good reason as I clumsily hurt my foot. As one can imagine she was happy. It was a pitty offer.

naga75

· #19 · Nov 26, 2012

she checks my pulse.

deejov

· #20 · Dec 1, 2012

kingsfan said:
As I posted in another thread, and hence why I started this thread, as the HD person in my previous marriage and in my current relationship, I have rarely said no to sex. Maybe five times in my life. When I do say no though, I get questioned like I just turned down a winning lottery ticket or something. Considering at times in my past both my ex and my current fiancee made rejecting me look like an art form, I found it very odd that the rare times I'd say no would be met with such a reaction. I understand it being a bit more peculiar, considering that she rejects sex much more frequently than I, but it turns into the Spanish inquisition when i say no, like something is incredibly wrong, or I must be sick and dying or something.

I guess it gets frustrating. In my marriage, towards the end I didn't really want to have sex (with her anyways) but if she initiated I would have sex, but it was done more to avoid being questioned and accused of things. It was just easier to half ass my way through 10 minutes of mehhh sex than it was to be accused of who knows what and grilled for three days.

Me too. Frustrating... because I got a "demand"almost to explain myself. What? WHY!

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