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I'm glad that you have come back and are sharing how things are going. Many people never do this.

A lot of people are able to recover their marriages after infidelity and to even go on to have better marriages than before.

Good for you, your wife and your family.
 

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Skyhawk,

I am glad you're happy. I wish you and your W a long life together. I'm even happier your children are relieved of their anxiety and able to flourish once again, free of this episode. I would have never been able to handle the situation the way you did. I'm not one that was brought up emotionally needy, as to consider second place as winning too.
 

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Skyhawk:

sorry, nope, not a chance.

My view will disappoint you. since I couldn't recall your story exactly i just now gave it a quick back check. I remember this story. For me there is no good news at all here, because your wife displays all sorts of signs of (very extreme, unusual) narcicism. this means that when she is around you she cannot fail to make you a victim of her constant manipulation anymore than a fish can avoid water. I wish you no ill but to me 6 months of apparent peace with someone like her is nothing more than an intermission preceding her next set of vile acts. A person like this is not capable of love, only capable of mimicing it in some ways.

If you are sincerely describing your wife accurately in your stories, then she is about as religious as Joseph Stalin, in reality. she has demonstrated that. Keep your wits about you and get yourself the hell away from her. I truly feel sorry for you and your children.
 

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Wow. I remember you. Okay im gonna ask. Yours is one of the most disturbing threads for me for some reason. Not gonna get on you about it. Its the past.

What happened on the tryst night? I was trying to figure out what , "everything else" meant.

Note: heavy petting and oral sex but no PIV on two nights is sufficiently descriptive. NOT looking for a lay by play.
 

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Skyhawk:

sorry, nope, not a chance.

My view will disappoint you. since I couldn't recall your story exactly i just now gave it a quick back check. I remember this story. For me there is no good news at all here, because your wife displays all sorts of signs of (very extreme, unusual) narcicism. this means that when she is around you she cannot fail to make you a victim of her constant manipulation anymore than a fish can avoid water. I wish you no ill but to me 6 months of apparent peace with someone like her is nothing more than an intermission preceding her next set of vile acts. A person like this is not capable of love, only capable of mimicing it in some ways.

If you are sincerely describing your wife accurately in your stories, then she is about as religious as Joseph Stalin, in reality. she has demonstrated that. Keep your wits about you and get yourself the hell away from her. I truly feel sorry for you and your children.
Well, THAT is certainly supportive.
 

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Skyhawk:

Good to hear from you! I am glad that everything is going well. I thought that it might since yours was a seriously atypical situation.

I don't think it is uncommon for anyone to wonder what might have happened if we'd taken a different turn in our lives. TAM is filled with stories about husbands and wives who have taken up with old flames because they felt that they'd missed a chance to be "really happy".

In your case your wife came to you and told you ahead of time what she wanted to do. To me that meant that she in fact held you at least in high respect if not total love.

You let her go. To her that probably meant more than we can imagine. I would have a hard time doing that in your shoes. But your actions, and I stress that, YOUR ACTIONS made it possible for her to face reality and come back to you.

Had she gone in the face of your strong objections, she might not have been willing to come back to your anger. But you did the right thing. I'm very happy for you!
 

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it may help someone to be a little slower on the trigger and consider other possibilities.
True enough.

I suspect that you got a roasting on your previous thread because the idea of letting your wife try out her boyfriend to see if he's a better prospect & hoping that she will come back is unacceptable to many guys (Or girls if the roles were reversed). The fact that they actually ended up in bed adds to the cringe factor ten fold. I for one don't agree with what you've done & would not call your situation a victory. No two ways about it, she basically stepped out on you with your reluctant blessing.

But I realize everyone sees things differently & wish you luck. I hope you don't have cause to come back here in the future.
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You didn't win anything. You let another man and your wife cuckold you.. She got her rocks off and came back with a big dramatic act getting everyone to believe how remorseful she is.
She didn't lose anything. She got to bang her old lover and do all the naughty things with him she most likely kept from you, she got to keep her family and fake illusion of a home, and you get the scraps from her table.

Disgusting. I just wasted an hour of my life I'll never get back.
 

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I'm not sure if this is a win or lose.

Im not wired to think like you, but I can understand your logic. Not my logic..but it is yours.

I think it would be a win if she let you do the same. Take off for a weekend to bang an ex to see if you missed out at life.

Otherwise it's a double standard and your just a convenience to come back to.

One part of your previous thread struck a chord..."how your wife wanted to drop her religious beliefs for a weekend so she could go see the other man.

You see...that's the hampster wheel in her head, spinning away coming up with a logical way to ease her guilt and get what she wanted. For someone so religious, she should know that religion isn't there only when it's convenient.

So....is this a big act she's giving you? Or is it legit? Time will tell. Come back in 6 more months and let us know. Maybe you'll prove us all wrong.
 

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One thing I also noticed in your previous thread was its all about her. And this thread started out exactly the same. She's happy! Her happiness is rubbing off. She's acting awesome!


So........how are you feeling? When are you going to face your own trauma? You've been through denial and depression. When's that anger your going to eventually experience root itself to your soul and expose its ugly head?

My bets? In about 12 more months it will seed itself when things start to go back to "normal and routine". sex will diminish. And you'll start to re-associate those feelings with your trauma.

Then it will sprout and grow its ugly weeds. Festering. Like a radioactive pus. Until your wife barks at you for not cutting the lawn. Then you'll blow up, as your feelings youve been suppressing finally go nuclear.

Don't forget yourself in all this, bud.
 

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Out of curiosity I went and read the back posts.

Almost every single poster tried to point out the mistakes you were making and you ignored all the good advice because your thinking was, and still is, very clouded. Things got so heated among the well meaning posters, their frustration was so strong with your distorted way of thinking, that the thread was closed by a moderator.

Now here you are a mere 6 months after your wife did unspeakable things to you, and you're proclaiming how great she is and how wonderful your life is.

You sir, are in for a big surprise.

It's called "reality".

This post sums it up rather well.

You didn't win anything. You let another man and your wife cuckold you.. She got her rocks off and came back with a big dramatic act getting everyone to believe how remorseful she is.
She didn't lose anything. She got to bang her old lover and do all the naughty things with him she most likely kept from you, she got to keep her family and fake illusion of a home, and you get the scraps from her table.

Disgusting. I just wasted an hour of my life I'll never get back.
Disgusting is right. It's so bad I find myself wondering if it's even real. How can a person allow themselves to be treated this way?
 

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Disgusting is right. It's so bad I find myself wondering if it's even real. How can a person allow themselves to be treated this way?
I can understand it....

How many movies and books do you see/read where the guy needs to be a martyr to win back the girl...where she has a eureka moment and comes running back?

Hundreds and hundreds. This is how men are conditioned to act nowadays. Sacrifice everything and you'll be the winner.

How many threads on here turn out that way?

One. Maybe....
 

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Thanks for the update Skyhawk.

These are all good signs!

It would seem she needed to get it out of her system.

I think some people have an extra wire in their emotions, sort of a feedback loop.

If they break up during the fantasy stage, they just cannot move on from it. People are wired differently, but she crossed a boundary that damaged her.

Sometimes there are unseen landmines on the other side of those boundaries.

Occasionally we get people on here who are considering swinging or a threesome, you never know what crossing that boundary will do to you or your partner until you are on the other side.

I am sure she was quite conflicted at the time.

I hope she can heal from the damage she did to herself and you can find healing as well. It was a horrible situation to be in.

You deserve some good years now!

Keep us posted.

I really wish you well.

Take care!
 

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You didn't win anything. You let another man and your wife cuckold you.. She got her rocks off and came back with a big dramatic act getting everyone to believe how remorseful she is.
She didn't lose anything. She got to bang her old lover and do all the naughty things with him she most likely kept from you, she got to keep her family and fake illusion of a home, and you get the scraps from her table.

Disgusting. I just wasted an hour of my life I'll never get back.
yes. unfortunately he came back to tell us that we were wrong and he is happy being plan b.
 

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You know they say that "it takes all sorts" and "vive la difference" and "different strokes...", but I must be from another planet.

You allowed your wife to "scratch her itch" by paying for her to travel to a [email protected] ex-boyfriend ("the love of her life") to sleep with him and then comforting her guilt when she came back and now that her itch is scratched (for the time being) you come here to tell us that "I told you so ... that it would be OK".

Are you for real ? God damn modern medication, but whatever they have you on has numbed you down to your [email protected]!

Grow a pair and rejoin the human race soon for your own good!
 
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