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Discussion Starter #1
We all have read the stories of being tempted most of us know the why, the how, etc, but when was the last time it really happened?

For me being late 30's, kids, super busy, and spending every waining second with the my wife, it has been a very long time. Probably since college to be honest. I don't mean friendly banter and a wink...I mean really hit on. I just don't go out and don't get myself in sticky situation....USUALLY!!!

I had to go to Mass. for work with some coworkers and to make a long story short we ended up at a bar. The bar had trivia night very much a college age scene with some olders thrown in for good measure.

We came in 2nd place and seemed to impress the locals........before you now it we are talking to 4 college girls in there mid 20's all in graduate school. They pretty wanted to see if the "out of towners" can hang with the Boston crowd!

It didn't take long for the conversation got very sexual undertones while talking about 50 shades etc. The one single guy with us was really playing along adding fuel to the fire. Well, one young woman had a clear interest in me. Rubbing my thigh repeatedly, asking very loaded questions "Don't you just want to do something wild every once in awhile?" etc etc. "That's the way it is, right? College is so fun then real life starts and it's just work, work, work and no fun!!! I dread it" She practically said "I want to bang your brains out tonight just invite me back!!"

I didn't cave, but I tell you that was harder than I thought. If I would have been alone and not with anyone who knew me I wonder.......? She was a little drunk very pretty 25........

So, what I learned when I got back to the hotel was I was so releived that nothing happened. I figure this has only happened once in 20 years....I should be good going forward.

I guess with all the black and white posts on the forum........I do see the grey best of luck to us all to remain faithful to our spouses for the longhaul.
 

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Great self-control :smthumbup:

No, you should never cave....even if you were alone.

You could leverage this "wow, I must still be looking good as I can attract a 25 year old" to go and have some real fun with your wife.
 

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I'm happy for your wife and for the sake of your marriage that nothing happened. I'm happy that there were people there that knew you because "if I would have been alone and not with anyone who knew me I wonder......."

my advice for the future, not that you're asking ;) is that if you end up at a bar where it is "20 somethings" and obviously a "meat market", you politely excuse yourself... "wow, I'm really tired, I think I'm gonna head back to the hotel, call my wife, and hit the sack early"..and then do just that. :)
 

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Kind of happened to me too. Some co-workers and I were up in St.Paul for engineer training, and we decided to hit the town afterwards. I don't drink (yeah, yeah, I was "volunteered" to be the designated driver) so I ordered a Coke and hung at the bar watching whatever was on the tube while my pals went around to "score", and the barmaid leans over the bar and whispers in my ear that the woman at the other end thinks I'm cute!

I look over and see that she is quite attractive (but then again, there's a reason that the lights are dim in a bar!), and she's motioning for me to come over. I seriously considered it, remembering the days when I would have begged a woman to even look in my direction, but I just mouthed "Thanks" to her and pointed to the ring on my finger, then gave her the "Oh, well" shrug. She nodded, gave me the "Oh, well" shrug too, and went off in search of easier prospects.

I know a lot of guys who are the "Better to ask forgiveness than permission" types, but I'm definitely the "Better to have a clean conscience than see the tears in my W's eyes while trying to explain" type.
 

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Decent looking dude my age outside of a grocery store asked me if my car has "a role bar." Mind you this is not a "cool" car - a convertible VW Cabrio. I then proceed to talk to him about the car not thinking anything about it.

Told Husband about this odd question & he rolled his eyes & said guys do not care about silly "chick" cars. Now it's a long standing joke between us.

No way would I go into a pick-up bar w/o husband. GNO's for me are LDL - Ladies Doing Lunch :)
 

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Great self-control :smthumbup:

No, you should never cave....even if you were alone.

You could leverage this "wow, I must still be looking good as I can attract a 25 year old" to go and have some real fun with your wife.
:iagree:

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One thing you can do to help in a situation like this is to talk about your wife. For instance you could have responded to that woman with the wild stuff you do with your wife and talk your wife up. Nothing throws cold water on someone who is targeting you like talking about your spouse. If the person is really fun loving and interested in talking they won't mind discussing your wife in a positive way. This is a good way to weed out women you should avoid.
 

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This is why my husband and I refuse to go to bars without each other. And if it was unavoidable the minute we saw where the scene was going we'd excuse ourselves and walk away.

We believe anybody is capable of cheating given the right set of circumstances so the best strategy is to not put yourself in that situation in the first place.

Problem solved. :)
 

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If that had been me she would have been told to get her damn hands off my thigh. Touching is a big, huge no - no to me when someone is in a committed relation or married.

I've had idiot men crotch grab me or grind while husband was right there let me tell you the husband wasnt fast enough to deck the pr!co because i did it first. Bouncer was watching the whole thing for the crotch grab incident too and took my side.

A man who gets physical with me (grabbing hitting, violent physical) better be prepared to come away with nothing but stumps left for hands. Mama didnt raise no foolish girls... and i guess shaolin kempo comes in handy too... love my mom for empowering her girls in knowing how to defend themselves physically. Best thing you can do for a daughter.
 

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This is why my husband and I refuse to go to bars without each other. And if it was unavoidable the minute we saw where the scene was going we'd excuse ourselves and walk away.

We believe anybody is capable of cheating given the right set of circumstances so the best strategy is to not put yourself in that situation in the first place.

Problem solved. :)
Agree 100%.

I admit this does not make me a popular person sometimes. Especially at work. But I stand my ground. I did it even before I was married in every relationship I ever had. Don't go places where I could even be mistaken for being single if my H is not with me.
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I got to say OP, is your wife okay with another woman rubbing your thigh repeatedly? You seem to be? Do you share that - like if a guy was rubbing your wife's thigh when she was out without you, you'd be okay with that?

If I found out my husband had let that happen I wouldn't be happy and I'd be questioning his boundaries because for me personally that's a step too far. For me that displays a weakness in boundaries to others, a lack of respect for your wife and could potentially be giving a green light whether you intended it to or not. I wouldn't let any guy do that either.
 

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Maybe you shouldn't have let her rub your thigh all night.

Geez.

If my husband allowed that...holy crap. May as well let her rub your crotch.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Good stuff always great to hear stories of people being strong. I never said I was flawless or didn't make errors. My wife did much better than I when she was hit on in LA on a trip. She said to the guy "Does your mom know where you are? Have you told her you loved her today? I'm a mom and we need that!" needless to say the young buck walked away smiling probably thinking my wife was "bat****" crazy.

I'm just glad nothing happened and I was strong enough not to make a very poor decision.
 

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Mate, something DID happen - you let a complete stranger touch you up.

Degrees and boundaries though - if you and your wife are happy with that then fair play. I appreciate what you are saying.
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I'm happy for your wife and for the sake of your marriage that nothing happened. I'm happy that there were people there that knew you because "if I would have been alone and not with anyone who knew me I wonder......."

my advice for the future, not that you're asking ;) is that if you end up at a bar where it is "20 somethings" and obviously a "meat market", you politely excuse yourself... "wow, I'm really tired, I think I'm gonna head back to the hotel, call my wife, and hit the sack early"..and then do just that. :)
:iagree:

It's really best to not place yourself in those sort of situations, OP, if the only thing likely to hold you back is the company you're in...:)
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Not a ton left to say.........this whole "incident" transpired in shoot 30 minutes after the trivia game. This wasn't some big all night flirt touchy feel romp. The thigh part was like 3-4 times for 1-2 seconds each..........!

Regardless of the debby downer replies I'm still pretty happy. Like I said this is a first in 20 years, so going off that I'll be tempted again when I'm almost 60 then I'll be dead after that.

I still chalk it up as a victory!! Don't plan to be in the situation again......lol.

**Some of you guys/girls replies sound like professors I had in school that lived in the world of theory and not practical application. I still think I did good**
 

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Not a ton left to say.........this whole "incident" transpired in shoot 30 minutes after the trivia game. This wasn't some big all night flirt touchy feel romp. The thigh part was like 3-4 times for 1-2 seconds each..........!

Regardless of the debby downer replies I'm still pretty happy. Like I said this is a first in 20 years, so going off that I'll be tempted again when I'm almost 60 then I'll be dead after that.

I still chalk it up as a victory!! Don't plan to be in the situation again......
lol.

**Some of you guys/girls replies sound like professors I had in school that lived in the world of theory and not practical application. I still think I did good**
Sorry, but if you were expecting a High Five for hanging out in a bar with a group of flirty students, letting one of them rub your thigh but resisting the temptation to bonk her because of the people you were with, I fear you were badly mistaken.:scratchhead:
 

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Yea. Had you been in there alone with the girls...who knows what you would have done. Your words, not ours.

Yea, way to pull back the reins, but, you did let the reins get pretty lax.

Why don't you tell your wife about another, younger chick rubbin up your thighs? That you stuck around somewhere letting yourself be tempted? Would she be so proud that you didn't sleep with that girl? Bet you won't tell her because you know she'd be upset. And rightfully so.
 
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