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Sometimes i just feel so confused in my life and trying to make sense of it makes me feel even more so.

I love my husband but i have all types of fears and irrational thoughts such as is he gay, do i really love him, why cant i sleep sometimes when i am next to him as my mind is wondering.

Our relationship is amazing as in we really connect and were best friends and the love is so strong.

My confidence is pretty low actually terribly low, after we got married I experienced some mild depression, It could be attributed to family of origin stress that i was under at the time. I just felt out of control and so sad and I automatically looked to my husband as the reason why or the solution. It was such a hard time and although i came out of it I dont think i really did 100percent.

I have alot of anxiety with regards to my own family, trust issues etc. My mother has been known to comment on my relationship even though my partner is the best man in the world she will always find something to say, some small dig. It just makes me feel tense around her and less confident about my own relationship. If it is me and gavin I am totally fine and we are happy but when my family are around I feel like they are judging me or looking out for signs somethings wrong or they think i am unhappy. It is all paronia but for good reason.

All of my family relationships are broken up, my mother sometimes being the catholist so maybe this is why i am so on edge.

The confusion comes in when sometimes i think about it so much i wonder am i happy, do i want a divorce when I dont I do love my husband but i go over it in my head.

It is so upsetting at this point as it is pretty much happening all the time. I am pregnant now and hormones are everywhere it makes it all so much harder.

I worry about us not sleeping in the same bed.-a habit we got into because of the dog and my sinuses and general sleep related issues, we cuddle all the time and our relationship is great but the seperate sleeping thing i have made such an issue that now when we are in the bed most the time i cannot relax to sleep....arghh.

Can anyone relate to what i am going through?
 
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