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26 Posts
I still believe that there's only one way out - Exit/Separation .... I don't want to discuss divorce considering the fact that that will permanently mark an end to something I thought was life time, and I don't want my daughter to be in that spot....
Over the past few days, I've seen more and more of "cold" in the eyes of both, my wife and my daughter .... I was attempting a rather huge sporting feat (200 km cycling brevet) yesterday and in all fairness, had hoped my daughter would either as much as wish me luck the night before, or text message me once she gets up on the day of the ride. ..(she wouldn't get up at all to see me off so that's a far out expectation).... Nothing, zilch, nada!!! just a couple of missed calls 6 hours after the race began!!!
I thought they would try and meet me at the finish line, and probably help me with a vehicle on the way back home, once again, no one there.... I quietly signed off my race card, and rode back home.... No one is home, I just draw a bath, get freshened up and the family is back... No one wants to talk to me, there's not even a remote question as "how did it go" from my daughter... Wifey, I might expect, as we're again in the "silent" zone after the friday argument... (more on that later) but my daughter - It beats me on what am I doing wrong..... I mean yes I can understand her predicament if she believes that I'm wronging her mother, but am I?
I provide for them, I am not abusive, I've never ever ever done drugs, never ever engaged in physical violence, I work hard and provide them with the best possible luxury, mostly without expecting anything back, I am very well respected for my work, my skills and my friends like me a lot... so, forget about love, is a little bit of respect too much to ask for?
I am thinking of having a word with my wife on the road ahead, may be separation is the key but just can't find it in me, because she is so unreasonable that I'm not sure where the conversation can lead up to....
Last friday, a group of us friends (that my wife also knows very well ) were throwing a farewell party to one of us who is leaving on an overseas assignment... I asked my wife 3 days before if it was okay for us to host the party, and she said yes...
I was away for a few hours in the morning on the day of the party, so I called my wife and asked her to order home delivery of some party food... she calls me back 15 minutes later and says - the phone's not responsive (imagine, we live in a place that thrives on home delivery and yet, because they didn't respond on first try, she just didn't want to try any more) and asks me to pick up the stuff on my way back..
I did, bought some food, and when I come home, there's 2 hours left for the party.. I dont' see any glasses, crockery, cutlery, nothing laid out, or even prepared.. and when I asked her, she said whatever's there is in front of you, deal with it yourself...
so, I got hyper mad and yelled at her asking if there's anything she does as a job around the household and her reply is "No, I don't, I am just meant to enjoy, no work pressure for me!" and our daughter is listening in, so I don't even want to imagine the kind of learning she gets from all of this... to make matters worse, my wife says "you've been out enjoying all day, why couldn't you pick up stuff rather than yell at me for not arranging it" I was at a government post office all day, picking up an overseas parcel that they wanted some paperwork for, and I spent 5.5 hours in there, dealing with government red-tape....
But she doesn't care or give a damn....
How reasonable can I expect when I start to have this conversation with her? I don't know, I sometimes feel the best way is just to find an apartment and move out.....
Over the past few days, I've seen more and more of "cold" in the eyes of both, my wife and my daughter .... I was attempting a rather huge sporting feat (200 km cycling brevet) yesterday and in all fairness, had hoped my daughter would either as much as wish me luck the night before, or text message me once she gets up on the day of the ride. ..(she wouldn't get up at all to see me off so that's a far out expectation).... Nothing, zilch, nada!!! just a couple of missed calls 6 hours after the race began!!!
I thought they would try and meet me at the finish line, and probably help me with a vehicle on the way back home, once again, no one there.... I quietly signed off my race card, and rode back home.... No one is home, I just draw a bath, get freshened up and the family is back... No one wants to talk to me, there's not even a remote question as "how did it go" from my daughter... Wifey, I might expect, as we're again in the "silent" zone after the friday argument... (more on that later) but my daughter - It beats me on what am I doing wrong..... I mean yes I can understand her predicament if she believes that I'm wronging her mother, but am I?
I provide for them, I am not abusive, I've never ever ever done drugs, never ever engaged in physical violence, I work hard and provide them with the best possible luxury, mostly without expecting anything back, I am very well respected for my work, my skills and my friends like me a lot... so, forget about love, is a little bit of respect too much to ask for?
I am thinking of having a word with my wife on the road ahead, may be separation is the key but just can't find it in me, because she is so unreasonable that I'm not sure where the conversation can lead up to....
Last friday, a group of us friends (that my wife also knows very well ) were throwing a farewell party to one of us who is leaving on an overseas assignment... I asked my wife 3 days before if it was okay for us to host the party, and she said yes...
I was away for a few hours in the morning on the day of the party, so I called my wife and asked her to order home delivery of some party food... she calls me back 15 minutes later and says - the phone's not responsive (imagine, we live in a place that thrives on home delivery and yet, because they didn't respond on first try, she just didn't want to try any more) and asks me to pick up the stuff on my way back..
I did, bought some food, and when I come home, there's 2 hours left for the party.. I dont' see any glasses, crockery, cutlery, nothing laid out, or even prepared.. and when I asked her, she said whatever's there is in front of you, deal with it yourself...
so, I got hyper mad and yelled at her asking if there's anything she does as a job around the household and her reply is "No, I don't, I am just meant to enjoy, no work pressure for me!" and our daughter is listening in, so I don't even want to imagine the kind of learning she gets from all of this... to make matters worse, my wife says "you've been out enjoying all day, why couldn't you pick up stuff rather than yell at me for not arranging it" I was at a government post office all day, picking up an overseas parcel that they wanted some paperwork for, and I spent 5.5 hours in there, dealing with government red-tape....
But she doesn't care or give a damn....
How reasonable can I expect when I start to have this conversation with her? I don't know, I sometimes feel the best way is just to find an apartment and move out.....