He asked for possible solutions.But if she's wise enough to procure and install different Spyware, shes savvy enough with tech to probably catch that option.
I feel for you man, it is an ugly situation. I get it that you can live without the affection, for now, but her giving it to someone else is a line you aren't willing to cross. Unfortunately you may get to a point where you will realize you will never find that smoking gun and you will have to make the call on the circumstantial evidence you have.I can't think of my life without my kids and her. I have endured a lot the past year, reaching my hand and becoming the better version of myself. She doesnt grab my hand and it feels that the distance is growing. I still have feelings for her. I love my kids that I am willing to sacrifice everything to stay near them. I grew up without a father and I dont want them to be raised in the same way. But if she actually cheated like I have been seriously implied into as of yesterday, it would be something that I know I wouldnt be able to come back from.
I sense some codependency in your writing. Staying in a dead marriage and sacrificing your happinessI love my kids that I am willing to sacrifice everything to stay near them.
I think a VAR would give you the evidence you need placed were she talks on the phone since she's locked down her phone. Never tried a spy pen thoMy limited findings were from our shared computer. I have reached the top of any possible findings there, from some texts that she forgot to erase like she usually does at her messenger group with her bffs, and some limited google findings like her search history. The combination of these two, along with other leads have brought me to a point where I can see what is going on but the evidence in my hands can be doubted as there is no clear confession other than implications.
I know that the apps she is using to text are Whatsapp and Viber to which there is no other access than her phone. Her phone call app might give me something more solid too.
I believe I could sneak her phone and try to unlock it at first, but I am afraid that an installed app might create a notification, an alert or something as I know it would take a few attempts to unlock it. This would backfire on me, I would begin to confront her based on what I have in my hands and, judging by other people's confessions here and by her own personal attitude too, she would deny it strongly as long it is not a very clear evidence.
The 3D print looks kind of exaggerated, I would prefer using her actual finger when she is asleep to unlock her phone but it would be a very difficult situation to explain, if I get caught in the act.
I will try to take a look if can turn off or uninstall a safety app through the desktop mode of Playstore - thanks for the advice even though I kind of doubt that it could actually happen.
Has anyone used a spypen before? I was thinking of putting the pen where she usually studies at the office when I am gone. Is there any way to get caught? Maybe a small sound or a small light, something that could betray the existence of the pen?
Writing and reading the above makes me want to die. I hate myself for what I am becoming. I just want to go and tell her the things I want even with the leads, not evidence, that I have right now. Then I see my kids waking up in the morning and I just want to cry and hug them and I can't stand the idea of not waking up in the same house with them any more. I am sick and tired and angry and I just want some closure.
Are you afraid to talk to her about how you feel and what you need to remain committed to the marriage?She has asked from me to give her some time to sort out herself and feel better, away from a depressive state with the professional help too, and that she cannot begin rebuilding without feeling better about herself first. I hear it. I saw she wrote the same thing at her friends' chat so it is checked. I cannot rebuild if part of her feeling better about herself is an affair.
Why can’t you just look at her phone?I am not sure, because I only managed to see her browsing history on Google Play Store. She searched for a few ones, like Anti Spy Detector - Spyware, but I am not sure wich one did she install.
Actually, I would say that men who can't take no for a damned answer and instead continually cling like grim death to a woman whose told him and shown him over and over that she's DONE with him emotionally cause their own pain.Women really screw men's hearts up!
This is a good analysis on your part.I cannot rebuild if part of her feeling better about herself is an affair.
Hey since she said that, that means she is having an early emotional affair and you are a plan B.She has asked from me to give her some time to sort out herself and feel better, away from a depressive state with the professional help too, and that she cannot begin rebuilding without feeling better about herself first. I hear it. I saw she wrote the same thing at her friends' chat so it is checked. I cannot rebuild if part of her feeling better about herself is an affair.
if there is no affair or another man she is talking to. then this is normal response from someone in pre depression. you can still walk yourself through it to her. body language, flowers etc....It feels genuine. She texted her BFFs the same things that has told me in person, that she has no feelings, she feels bad about her life and she needs to find herself back. When she does so, she says she can try for things to go better between us but she doesnt know when she will feel better and if she will think that the best thing is to try anyways.
Evidence gives you NO advantage in divorce and custody or the finances involved unless she was spending huge amounts of money AFTER you filed for divorce from your joint assets. Even then, all they want is the financials. They don't care why. You're spinning your wheels for nothing. Court doesn't care about cheating. Even if you proved she cheated, there is NO proof you didn't also cheat, so it's a moot point and simply not anything the courts deal with. You can't blackmail her into financial and child custody submission by gathering evidence on her! This will not give you the upper hand! It will only make her dislike you more.There are kids, finances etc involved so I need a crystal clear evidence, otherwise she will deny it and gain some time at least to clean everything out. Knowing her for years, I would like to end this with a clean cut otherwise it won't work and she will deny it and throw the blame back to me.
I think she's too smart to fall for that .If she has a I Phone, you could purchase a new or used I Pad and link it to her phone.
And, give it to her as a gift.
You would secretly need to be the Administrator so she does not lock you out of that also.
