Finding phone evidence despite anti-spy apps installed

3925 Views 69 Replies 28 Participants Last post by Altgirl814, 9 d ago

kab_

Discussion Starter · 14 d ago

I have some solid suspicions that my wife has an affair.

It looks like she is having a long-distant affair over the past few months, with someone that she's met a few times, while keeping a text kind of relationship in the middle.

My issue is that I have reached the top of the possible findings on her Google profile activity and her Facebook messages with her friends. She has installed anti-spy apps on her phone, so it looks difficult for me to find an angle there.

I would like some technical advice on how to get into her phone despite these anti-spy, anti-theft etc protective apps. Also, if you have some other alternatives, for example stuff like spy-pens, if any of you have tried them and have feedback it would be useful. But I know that her phone has immediate answers and I am looking for some ideas on how to get into it without triggering alarms or safety windows combined with notifications or whatever else these apps do.

To be here and asking these things, means that I have almost solved the case by myself, but I need a solid and undoubting evidence of her infidelity. Please, I would appreciate if you wouldn't ask questions about me being sure or the ethics of it. I am sick and tired and frustrated and I need something in my hands, because if I doun't I am 101% sure that she will try to deny it and turn it back to me.

Thank you in advance.

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21 - 40 of 70 Posts

kab_

Discussion Starter · #21 · 13 d ago

Jimi007 said:
Does she have a tablet , or social media off of the phone ? Home computer or iPad. ? Outside email ? .....Your issue is your afraid to get caught snooping ?
Can you take a picture of her finger when she is asleep ( friend did this ) and use a 3D printer ?

My limited findings were from our shared computer. I have reached the top of any possible findings there, from some texts that she forgot to erase like she usually does at her messenger group with her bffs, and some limited google findings like her search history. The combination of these two, along with other leads have brought me to a point where I can see what is going on but the evidence in my hands can be doubted as there is no clear confession other than implications.

I know that the apps she is using to text are Whatsapp and Viber to which there is no other access than her phone. Her phone call app might give me something more solid too.

I believe I could sneak her phone and try to unlock it at first, but I am afraid that an installed app might create a notification, an alert or something as I know it would take a few attempts to unlock it. This would backfire on me, I would begin to confront her based on what I have in my hands and, judging by other people's confessions here and by her own personal attitude too, she would deny it strongly as long it is not a very clear evidence.

The 3D print looks kind of exaggerated, I would prefer using her actual finger when she is asleep to unlock her phone but it would be a very difficult situation to explain, if I get caught in the act.

I will try to take a look if can turn off or uninstall a safety app through the desktop mode of Playstore - thanks for the advice even though I kind of doubt that it could actually happen.

Has anyone used a spypen before? I was thinking of putting the pen where she usually studies at the office when I am gone. Is there any way to get caught? Maybe a small sound or a small light, something that could betray the existence of the pen?

Writing and reading the above makes me want to die. I hate myself for what I am becoming. I just want to go and tell her the things I want even with the leads, not evidence, that I have right now. Then I see my kids waking up in the morning and I just want to cry and hug them and I can't stand the idea of not waking up in the same house with them any more. I am sick and tired and angry and I just want some closure.

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kab_

Discussion Starter · #22 · 13 d ago

SunCMars said:
If she has a I Phone, you could purchase a new or used I Pad and link it to her phone.
And, give it to her as a gift.

You would secretly need to be the Administrator so she does not lock you out of that also.

She and I are both on Android unfortunately.

TinyTbone

· #23 · 13 d ago

Weird this is the second thread in a week, asking for advice on spy ware. Bro its easy to sit at a keyboard and be an expert...we get it. Fact is if its become unfixable...just end it amicably if possible and save the both of you and the children all the extra pain.

TinyTbone

· #24 · 13 d ago

SunCMars said:
If she has a I Phone, you could purchase a new or used I Pad and link it to her phone.
And, give it to her as a gift.

You would secretly need to be the Administrator so she does not lock you out of that also.

But if she's wise enough to procure and install different Spyware, shes savvy enough with tech to probably catch that option.

TinyTbone

· #25 · 13 d ago

I know love is a powerful thing, but why do we put ourselves through such hell! Why can't we just call it a day if its all go e to crap and end a nuked relationship ship?

BigDaddyNY

· #26 · 13 d ago

kab_ said:
My limited findings were from our shared computer. I have reached the top of any possible findings there, from some texts that she forgot to erase like she usually does at her messenger group with her bffs, and some limited google findings like her search history. The combination of these two, along with other leads have brought me to a point where I can see what is going on but the evidence in my hands can be doubted as there is no clear confession other than implications.

I know that the apps she is using to text are Whatsapp and Viber to which there is no other access than her phone. Her phone call app might give me something more solid too.

I believe I could sneak her phone and try to unlock it at first, but I am afraid that an installed app might create a notification, an alert or something as I know it would take a few attempts to unlock it. This would backfire on me, I would begin to confront her based on what I have in my hands and, judging by other people's confessions here and by her own personal attitude too, she would deny it strongly as long it is not a very clear evidence.

The 3D print looks kind of exaggerated, I would prefer using her actual finger when she is asleep to unlock her phone but it would be a very difficult situation to explain, if I get caught in the act.

I will try to take a look if can turn off or uninstall a safety app through the desktop mode of Playstore - thanks for the advice even though I kind of doubt that it could actually happen.

Has anyone used a spypen before? I was thinking of putting the pen where she usually studies at the office when I am gone. Is there any way to get caught? Maybe a small sound or a small light, something that could betray the existence of the pen?

Writing and reading the above makes me want to die. I hate myself for what I am becoming. I just want to go and tell her the things I want even with the leads, not evidence, that I have right now. Then I see my kids waking up in the morning and I just want to cry and hug them and I can't stand the idea of not waking up in the same house with them any more. I am sick and tired and angry and I just want some closure.

Why don't you both have open access to each other's phone? Have you had access in the past, but she took it away from you?

Honestly if you are at the point you need to do this much investigation the marriage is already over. You appear to have less than zero trust in her.

Reactions: 2

kab_

Discussion Starter · #27 · 13 d ago

TinyTbone said:
I know love is a powerful thing, but why do we put ourselves through such hell! Why can't we just call it a day if its all go e to crap and end a nuked relationship ship?

I do not have a clear state of mind like you do unfortunately. I got this information on my hands yesterday. We have been in a bad situation for a few months now. There are kids in the middle. I cannot just say **** it unless I know what is going on and I know that she will never confess anything because she is afraid like I am, afraid of losing the family comfort, the finances, the stability of an organized life. And the kids goddamn it I just can't let them go away from me. I am crying as I write these words, what has my life turned into?

Reactions: 1

kab_

Discussion Starter · #28 · 13 d ago

BigDaddyNY said:
Why don't you both have open access to each other's phone? Have you had access in the past, but she took it away from you?

Honestly if you are at the point you need to do this much investigation the marriage is already over. You appear to have less than zero trust in her.

When some suspicions kicked in, I stalked her google location history and found out she was telling me many small lies. We talked it through but things only got worse. I eventually relapsed and saw that she had searched for anti-spy apps, along with hard-deleting all of her location history and disabling the feature too.

Reactions: 2

TinyTbone

· #29 · 13 d ago (Edited)

Look, im sorry. I dont make light of your situation at all! Its just that with or without "proof" its not going to change whatever happens in the divorce but minimally. Possibly in the area of alimony and primary custodial rights is about all in no fault states. I get it! I damn near walked on 38 years because of my own internal pain and issues. Its not easy, by any stretch of the hand. You need to calm yourself my man.

Reactions: 1

BigDaddyNY

· #30 · 13 d ago

kab_ said:
When some suspicions kicked in, I stalked her google location history and found out she was telling me many small lies. We talked it through but things only got worse. I eventually relapsed and saw that she had searched for anti-spy apps, along with hard-deleting all of her location history and disabling the feature too.

Those are the actions of a person hiding something, as I'm sure you know. Why do you accept that and not tell her this behavior isn't okay? She is absolutely cheating in one form or another.

Reactions: 1

kab_

Discussion Starter · #31 · 13 d ago

I understand that many of you need context and I thank you for that. She is in a state of pre-depression, visits a psychiatrist, and this relationship must have been the way to feel good since we two have been in a mild state for 2-3 years now. I understand by the texts she exchanges with her bffs that she wants a way out of "it" but ut takes time and the distance she has with 'it' helps her deal and slowly put it back. But she has no interest of working things with me. She needs to work on herself first. I can live with a person that has the will to slowly work things with me for the sake of our marriage and kids, but she has admitted she feels nothing for me and her relationshiop would be the icing on the cake.

Reactions: 3

TinyTbone

· #32 · 13 d ago

Women really screw men's hearts up! I've observed in my longish lifetime that women are better able to compartmentalize their emotions because they are creatures of emotion. Its their modus operandi. Men are much more physical in their expressions of emotion, so we are hesitant to love, but when we do...we push all the chips into the game!

Reactions: 1

gr8ful1

· #33 · 13 d ago

kab_ said:
she has admitted she feels nothing for me

As many will confirm, 99% of women who reach this point never return to love a man they once did. Stick a fork in this relationship. It’s over. Sorry man.

Reactions: 3

Natsu1

· #34 · 13 d ago

Hey @kab_

I think I went through the same thing, may I ask what Ethnical background are you from?
do you think she is meeting someone physically right now?
and how many kids do you guys have?

I will recommend based on the answers above

Natsu1

· #35 · 13 d ago

gr8ful1 said:
As many will confirm, 99% of women who reach this point never return to love a man they once did. Stick a fork in this relationship. It’s over. Sorry man.

Not true, again depending on the person up bringing. feeling nothing and hidden feeling are totally different things. she might say that because she is mad or pissed and to hurt him.

kab_

Discussion Starter · #36 · 13 d ago

Natsu1 said:
Hey @kab_

I think I went through the same thing, may I ask what Ethnical background are you from?
do you think she is meeting someone physically right now?
and how many kids do you guys have?

I will recommend based on the answers above

Southern European
Yes
Two young kids

D0nnivain

· #37 · 13 d ago

She's done. You know that. Move forward with that knowledge. Assume she's cheating. Stop worrying about proving it. Family court is not criminal court.

Reactions: 2

kab_

Discussion Starter · #38 · 13 d ago

Natsu1 said:
Not true, again depending on the person up bringing. feeling nothing and hidden feeling are totally different things. she might say that because she is mad or pissed and to hurt him.

It feels genuine. She texted her BFFs the same things that has told me in person, that she has no feelings, she feels bad about her life and she needs to find herself back. When she does so, she says she can try for things to go better between us but she doesnt know when she will feel better and if she will think that the best thing is to try anyways.

BigDaddyNY

· #39 · 13 d ago

kab_ said:
Southern European
Yes
Two young kids

kab_ said:
I understand that many of you need context and I thank you for that. She is in a state of pre-depression, visits a psychiatrist, and this relationship must have been the way to feel good since we two have been in a mild state for 2-3 years now. I understand by the texts she exchanges with her bffs that she wants a way out of "it" but ut takes time and the distance she has with 'it' helps her deal and slowly put it back. But she has no interest of working things with me. She needs to work on herself first. I can live with a person that has the will to slowly work things with me for the sake of our marriage and kids, but she has admitted she feels nothing for me and her relationshiop would be the icing on the cake.

So you believe she is physically cheating on you and she has told you she feels nothing for you. I'm sorry, but your marriage will not come back from this. Why do you need so badly to get proof? Is it just so you can rub it in her face that you know what is going on?

Reactions: 1

kab_

Discussion Starter · #40 · 13 d ago

BigDaddyNY said:
So you believe she is physically cheating on you and she has told you she feels nothing for you. I'm sorry, but your marriage will not come back from this. Why do you need so badly to get proof? Is it just so you can rub it in her face that you know what is going on?

I can't think of my life without my kids and her. I have endured a lot the past year, reaching my hand and becoming the better version of myself. She doesnt grab my hand and it feels that the distance is growing. I still have feelings for her. I love my kids that I am willing to sacrifice everything to stay near them. I grew up without a father and I dont want them to be raised in the same way. But if she actually cheated like I have been seriously implied into as of yesterday, it would be something that I know I wouldnt be able to come back from.

Reactions: 2

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