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the first time my ex was caught, i wasn't even in the united states.my mom went over to my house to check on my ex, and mom caught her polishing some guys knob,mom was seriously pizzed to this day i think she loved my ex more than me.
 
i'm new here and got some good advice.just wondering how you other post found out your spouse was cheating ?
Well I kinda knew and had asked the right questions but got smokescreened. Brain damaged after hypoxia and in this state of mind opened his seldom-used Outlook account on the old computer of his I'd started using after mine broke, thinking it was my Outlook account, and looking for his mom's email address since he asked me to email her specifically as he was deployed.

Found an email he'd sent her the same day he'd typed a 'fake' one as a 'demo' and had emailed it to her to show me how he corresponded with her. I figured out that if she'd received the fake email and the real email the same day, that he would have either told her about the deceit and the reason for the extra 'fake/demo' email or that she would already have known why this happened or he could just talk to her about it in person to explain it.

Of course, he denied everything. So did she.
Funny she was still denying it until I sent her H another email she'd sent my stbxh back in 2002, well before I was even back in the picture (he was single, she was married). I can easily see that I was a superfluous wife, selected to provide sexual and domestic benefits as well as lining his pockets and building home equity for him while he deployed (soldiers only gets housing benefits while deployed if married). Can we say, FRAUD? Of all kinds.

By the time I left, I think he was realizing that he could have had it all, even better than what was on his own game plan. But, too late! I don't stay in marriages where people lie to me in order to use me for their own purposes. I prefer invitations to be part of someone's life, on the up and up.
 
On a family trip, woke up in the middle of the night. My phone was fully charged so I plugged hers in so it would be ready for the next day. Up pops the end of an inappropriate text stream. Took two months before I stumbled into this forum, and another month before I finally installed the Keylogger as I had been advised to from day one. Once I had the keylogger it took all of 1 day to give me enough proof to kill her EA.
 
My birthday, January '10. My girls were wanting to sing happy birthday to their daddy. I went in the kitchen to see a cake with no candles in it, no cards, presents or anything. My girls did make me cards and sang happy birthday while my wife sat in the livingroom on the phone. Looking back it could have been him she was talking to, I dunno. Never in our 15 year relationship had she been so cold towards me.

There was an argument that night and I got the first taste of a WS caught in the fog. She was explaining to me how she just wanted to feel loved and appreciated and how she was thinking of seperation and all of the routine chatter......So thinking it was me I tried everything I could to be a better man (or what she was wanting).

Fast forward 5 months later and she keep pushing me and pushing me to move out so she could "have some space." At some point I decided to go with that feeling in my gut and checked cell phone bill. Sure enough thousands of texts a month, more minutes and calls that I can count all to the same number, over and over again. I got a coworker to call the number from work and asked who he was, and he gave his first and last name.... He was my wife's kick boxing instructor at the YMCA. And right then and there my heart just felt like someone stuck a knife in it and twisted it over and over.

Just writing this brings back some bad feelings.
Wow. I just read your story, you went totally Alpha on her, which she was not expecting. She went from planning this exit affair for months, being totally unremorseful and unrepentant, trying to kick you out of the house - to now she's willing to do anything to win you back. You fought and didn't give in to any of her demands and went nuclear with exposing the affair.

:smthumbup:
 
Well, my discovery began with an errant text message I received from the STBXW. She was obviously in two text conversations; One with me and one with a girlfriend and screwed up. The rest of the pitiful story can be followed from the link in my signature. (not for the feint of heart)
 
12 years ago I found a log of sex talk on the computer by mistake. I thought at first one of my boys were gay, there was talk about sucking c*** and as I read there was talk about my wet p*****. I almost said something to my WS that I thought one of our boys was gay as she was in the room. I got a keylogger and got all the info I needed. It was all online with at least 4 guys.

2010 - WS was acting cold, distant, saying she needed space, etc. We were going out to use a hot tub and my WS left her computer on. She was taking a bath and I went on her computer and there were emails where she was begging the OM not to break up with her. They never used our joint email account before and for some reason they did that day.

2011 - I knew right away from the previous year. She said, she needs space, got cold, I heard a cell phone ringing and knew she had a secret phone, I did not know it went PA. My youngest son put a tracking device on her car and she got caught lying about where she was. She said she was 30 miles away shopping at Walmart. I said it is funny that you are 30 miles away parked in an Amish church parking lot with W*****.
 
My birthday, January '10. My girls were wanting to sing happy birthday to their daddy. I went in the kitchen to see a cake with no candles in it, no cards, presents or anything. My girls did make me cards and sang happy birthday while my wife sat in the livingroom on the phone. Looking back it could have been him she was talking to, I dunno. Never in our 15 year relationship had she been so cold towards me.

There was an argument that night and I got the first taste of a WS caught in the fog. She was explaining to me how she just wanted to feel loved and appreciated and how she was thinking of seperation and all of the routine chatter......So thinking it was me I tried everything I could to be a better man (or what she was wanting).

Fast forward 5 months later and she keep pushing me and pushing me to move out so she could "have some space." At some point I decided to go with that feeling in my gut and checked cell phone bill. Sure enough thousands of texts a month, more minutes and calls that I can count all to the same number, over and over again. I got a coworker to call the number from work and asked who he was, and he gave his first and last name.... He was my wife's kick boxing instructor at the YMCA. And right then and there my heart just felt like someone stuck a knife in it and twisted it over and over.

Just writing this brings back some bad feelings.
I still think he went into a save my family mode and could not see what his wife is. I din't think his wife is remorseful. He was too happy to her back.

I hope he won't be another struggling4ever
 
12 years ago I found a log of sex talk on the computer by mistake. I thought at first one of my boys were gay, there was talk about sucking c*** and as I read there was talk about my wet p*****. I almost said something to my WS that I thought one of our boys was gay as she was in the room. I got a keylogger and got all the info I needed. It was all online with at least 4 guys.

2010 - WS was acting cold, distant, saying she needed space, etc. We were going out to use a hot tub and my WS left her computer on. She was taking a bath and I went on her computer and there were emails where she was begging the OM not to break up with her. They never used our joint email account before and for some reason they did that day.

2011 - I knew right away from the previous year. She said, she needs space, got cold, I heard a cell phone ringing and knew she had a secret phone, I did not know it went PA. My youngest son put a tracking device on her car and she got caught lying about where she was. She said she was 30 miles away shopping at Walmart. I said it is funny that you are 30 miles away parked in an Amish church parking lot with W*****.
Extremely difficult situation you're in. I mean, that's like three strikes, right? I would hope she's busting her ass to earn that shot at R.
 
12 years ago I found a log of sex talk on the computer by mistake. I thought at first one of my boys were gay, there was talk about sucking c*** and as I read there was talk about my wet p*****. I almost said something to my WS that I thought one of our boys was gay as she was in the room. I got a keylogger and got all the info I needed. It was all online with at least 4 guys.

2010 - WS was acting cold, distant, saying she needed space, etc. We were going out to use a hot tub and my WS left her computer on. She was taking a bath and I went on her computer and there were emails where she was begging the OM not to break up with her. They never used our joint email account before and for some reason they did that day.

2011 - I knew right away from the previous year. She said, she needs space, got cold, I heard a cell phone ringing and knew she had a secret phone, I did not know it went PA. My youngest son put a tracking device on her car and she got caught lying about where she was. She said she was 30 miles away shopping at Walmart. I said it is funny that you are 30 miles away parked in an Amish church parking lot with W*****.
I don't understand ? What is the point of her affairs? It is not that she is staying for the kids. it is not that she is in love with you. Is it that the OM wouldn't take or support her? So her only reasons are financial and stability reasons. What are hoping to achieve by reconciling ? Or what is she hoping by reconciling ?

I am also guessing that she will do it again.

Edit: just read your thread again. I think some part of you was very content when she grabbed your legs crying and begged you to R when you declared the intentions to divorce. It somehow satisfied your ego at that point. But is it a good long term decision?
 
My wife had an affair 11 yrs ago. I found out when she went on a cruise with her sisters and I called the cruise line to send flowers. When they said my wife wasn't registered, they asked if she was registered under another name. A voice in my head had me blurt out my "so called best friends" name. And there she was, registered with him in his cabin. They would not give me the room, I left a message and she called me back crying....
 
She left the house and forgot to logoff her user account on our computer. I was in the process of login her off when I got curious and looked at the website she was viewing before she left. It was her photobucket account. Saw a bunch of photos of us, family, and some female friends of hers but then I noticed a video was among them. I open it up and got the mother of all heartbreaks. It was her and the OM having sex. The video was not of very high quality but it was sufficient enough that I could identify her as the woman in it. There she was, the woman I loved with all my heart and soul, the woman I would have never suspected of being capable of betraying me in such horrible way, was right in front of my eyes acting like a sex crazed maniac with a POSOM. Right there and then I knew that there was no way that our marriage could survive that. I filed for divorce and never looked back.
Is there a better punishment than this to a loving husband?
 
purely accidental- went to see if my wife had sent an email to my son's teacher and she never thought to delete her outgoing messages
Similar story here - he forgot to log out of yahoo and I saw some suspicious usernames so I snooped and found his sent items indicating he had paid money to sex escort agencies.
 
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