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Does he know? Resentment can fade in time with the right actions. Personally I try to tackle things head on. So, I explain to my wife how freaking insane my head is on this irrational stuff. I avoid trying to justify… basically own that it is my own irrational insecurity and me filling my head with how I think she is looking at me. Then present her with what I think might help.
Prior to this conversation, I really pay attention to myself and seek out those silly little things that she does where the insecurity is dispelled. So for me, my insecurity was feeling unwanted. I found it wasn’t just sex that helped me; she’s actually got issues there. I needed to find it elsewhere. It was also that curling up on the couch, certain ways she looked at me, how she sought out my proximity, etc. So I asked her to do more of that stuff and anything else she could think of; nothing was written off. She added little notes left for me in the morning. A couple text during the day just to tell me she was thinking of me. Actually seeming happy to get home and see me. And on and on. Just little things by themselves, but overall an immense help (for both of us actually).
Prior to this conversation, I really pay attention to myself and seek out those silly little things that she does where the insecurity is dispelled. So for me, my insecurity was feeling unwanted. I found it wasn’t just sex that helped me; she’s actually got issues there. I needed to find it elsewhere. It was also that curling up on the couch, certain ways she looked at me, how she sought out my proximity, etc. So I asked her to do more of that stuff and anything else she could think of; nothing was written off. She added little notes left for me in the morning. A couple text during the day just to tell me she was thinking of me. Actually seeming happy to get home and see me. And on and on. Just little things by themselves, but overall an immense help (for both of us actually).
