[commonsenseisn't]

has got really secretive about his phone use. I try not to snoop and trust him but my gut said something was off about him so I looked in his phone (not one of my prouder moments). He's meeting up with a woman he's always sworn was just a friend tonight and he didn't tell me. He told me instead that he has a delivery he needs to make. Do I go and see if he's cheating?.

BIG DAMN RED FLAG.

Don't say anything to him yet. Don't do any kind of confrontation till you have facts. Keep your mouth shut.

Look up Weightlifters thread on how to do surveillance. You need to get to the bottom of this pronto.

 

[commonsenseisn't]

Yeah. Unfortunately I suspect that you're right.

Yeah, if there's one fact we've learned here at TAM, it's trust your gut.

Sorry for the bad news.

The basic steps to take from here on out is:
1. Go into detective mode and find out what's going on without revealing what you are doing.

2. See a lawyer and make a game plan. Don't forget asset protection. Again, keep this under his radar.

3. Formulate some action plans for a variety of scenarios that might present themselves. Brace your nerves for whatever you might find.

4. Once you have learned what he's doing you can implement your action plan accordingly.

I am a very firm believer in blind siding cheaters with an appropriate action plan and following through with it. Time and again, we see betrayed spouses forfeiting advantages by wishy washy weak dealing with cheaters. Trying to bargain with a cheater is like dealing with the devil. Sorry for your trouble.

 

[commonsenseisn't]

I recommend you ask a moderator to move this thread to the coping with infidelity forum.