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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Ok me and my HB have been married for 6yrs we hit a bump in our marriage last summer and i left him for 3 months (went back home) We both realized we want to make our marriage work and for the sake of our 4yr old son now were working it out. Now when i was gone my HB's best friend Mike and Josh were there for him so he spent alot of time with them. Mike is married to Kaylee no children and Josh isn't married but has a gf Jessie and they have a little girl who's 2yrs old. Let me just idk how to say tell you the highlights that for me sent up red flags.

Me & my HB and our son had dinner with Mike and his wife Kaylee i thought it went great and had a good time, until after dinner we all were walking in the mall and i was a little behind with our son while my HB,Mike,Kaylee were ahead and i guess the three of them had this running playful touching, My HB poked Mike in his rib,thus Mike jabbed him back, my HB poked Kaylee in her ribs and she slapped his arm..My first reaction i'm not going to lie i didn't like another women who i don't know touching my HB but hey we were all having fun, Mike was in on it and i just brushed that off. Later since they carpooled with us we were dropping them off at their house, Mike and Nick were talking about the neighborhood they lived in etc etc Mike jokenly said to my HB "You know we have strippers living down the street from us" (We live down the street from Mike&Kaylee)
HB: you should have told me sooner man! (my hb has had stripper gf's not even mike know's about them but he told me)
I was as usual going to give him a pinch on his arm but didnt i laughed and said "I'll get him at home and make him forget about strippers" we all laughed, and out of nowhere Kaylee hit my HB's arm hard and we all stopped laughing and so from stopping the situation from being awkward I laughed and said "Good Kaylee has my back she's my backup" and i high fived her. So after dropping them off i was still baffled by Kaylee's action. I asked my HB since he's known her longer than i had was she usually like that and i didn't understand why she hit him and not her husband for bringing it up,
HB:no she wasn't like that and he thought the same. So my gut started to turn into knots.

fastforward New Years
We had everyone over, Josh,Jesse,Mike,Kaylee,JR(a nice girl who's friends with Josh) playing cards and i had a couple of glasses of wine, having a good time was my usual self affectionate towards my man kisses,playing with his hair,when i put my legs in his lap he was touching my inner thighs (discreetly though) everyone was having a good time but i noticed Kaylee was upset, i had asked my hb if she was ok and he didn't know either, so the countdown begun and me,jessie,kaylee sat on our lounge sofa while mike,hb,josh,jr played cards. I called out to my HB i wanted a new years kiss (it was our ritual for new years):corkysm60:. Well after that my HB brought up when i called out for our new years kiss that Josh went over to Jessie and gaver her a kiss and Mike went over to Kaylee that he saw Mike leaned in but kaylee moved her head away and instead he pat her on the shoulder
I told my HB "maybe she's not into PDA"

Recently
So remember when i said were still working on our marriage well my HB was going back to his same habits not spending time with Us his family and I was very upset bc our son kept asking for his daddy and where's daddy, You see my HB works 3rd shift & doesn't have every weekend off. for a whole month he would prolly get 1 day off 2 if he was lucky and on his 1 day off which is usually on sunday he would spend 3hrs with us then head off to play cards and wont come home til 4 am. I have a bad unhealthy habit i hold everything in and something small and stupid set's me off and one night he came home early bc i made him promise to come home around 12. when he came home he was happy,pacing,couldn't form sentences right. I had ask him what's got him like this?
HB:I got to play Mikes new cards (Magic the gathering Cards) that came out & everyone was in a good mood, no arguments and had a great night.
I was happy he was happy i know he has a stressful job and so i'm glad playing cards is one of his stress reliver......In bed ready to go to bed clearly he's happy & excited i heard Kaylee, how she sat by him and he thought she was going to sit next to mike etc etc I tried to steer the conversation into a different direction but it kept going back to Kaylee..

Now i should have mention earlier when We came back home all i heard about was Kaylee,Kaylee this n how cute she was when she ordered a kids meal, I have met kaylee once beforethat was 2yrs ago she was really quite and she had one of those baby voices or if anyone is familiar with those anime girls with the baby ish voices. for 5 months he talked about her ALOT. I'll be honest i started to build this envious,mistrustful,suspicious towards my HB &Kaylee and towards Mike. So the next day i called my mother in law and my mom i cried to them explaining everything, was what i was feeling normal or was i becoming the worst thing i feared the crazy jealous women.

After i calm down and my husband was up i told him i needed to talk to him. Basically I needed him home, Him being out for 12hrs or longer I felt it was not fair to me and our son, I told my HB our son needs his father to spend time with him. When we were apart my HB realized he needed to spend time with his son and now i had to remind him he was slipping back into his old habits, I told my HB were back now and he needs to be true to his words

Next I'm a stay at home mom, i'm going back to school to futher my education to help out with money and no one is hiring, I love our son but sometimes i would like to spend time grown up's. Go out when we don't have our son and he's with his grandparents.

Also if it was just US or the two of us i didn't like how he told his buddies every min of what we were doing, like if we were going out for a bite he would tell them he was leaving, when we just got to the resturant, when we were leaving,how long it would be before he was going to drop us off, i felt rushed and like his "friends" mattered more than spending time with his family. even on my 25th b-day he told them what we were doing,which movie we were going to go see,after the movie..

Finally about Kaylee, I told him about how i felt about him talking about her so much, and how i thought we should set boundaries, To how i felt like Mike wasn't or should do the same for his wife lol either Mike doesn't care or he's a really secure man. I didn't think she should act differently if i was or wasn't there around him, HB know's he would feel the same way if i was talking about another guy alot, or if i told him one of my guy friends touched my hair or poked my sides. I just wanted my HB to realize he's married not single and i felt like that was what he was acting like. I even went as far as to ask him if he likes Kaylee romantically,sexually,crush perhaps. I needed to know and understand where we stand. My HB said no to all, i was the one he loves,he loves his family,he doesn't want to loose us a second time.

After our talk he's doing alot better. He's paying our son more attention and our son is doing alot better in talking forming sentences and potty training, not acting out as much, instead of yelling my HB now talks and explains to our son. :)

Sorry if all or some of what i wrote didn't make any sense. It took me a while to write this bc i felt like i was being silly and insecure. HB told me that Josh noticed he's spending more time with us and that Josh understands. Mike noticed also but he doesn't understand my HB told Mike when him and kaylee have a child he will understand then. I don't ever want to be like it's your family or your friends but when i'm putting in my part and wanting to work out our marriage and my HB wanted this as well I'm feel bad bc I feel like it should be US his family that should come first.

My mother told me if i have any doubts or want to stop being the green eye women to ask kaylee if she has any feelings for my man and for her to stop touching bc i'm uncomfortable with it.

My hb is a natural flirt, he's one of those guys he can talk to anybody and everybody. My HB told me he was just wanting to help out kaylee bc she was like me, Left her home and left everything she knew to be with her HB. But i told my HB that was nice of him but that's not his job, Mike is her HB she's his responsibility. Jessie put it more into simpler terms maybe my HB thinks of Kaylee as a little sister.

IDK maybe we should go to a marriage counselor, sorry for the long rant, and for jumping around, but i feel better now that i finally wrote this :eek:

UPDATE:2/21/2013
Well ladies my whole crazy insecure green eyed gal has left and now my mind and body are at peace. It was when we had Mike and his wife Kaylee over to play cards. Everyone was having a good time they guy's picked on kaylee and i didn't mind my HB joining in. Now my husband went to high five kaylee 3 times but she only high fived him once. After Mike & Kaylee left i asked my HB if he ever had that "talk" with Mike about how i was uncomfortable with kaylee's physical touching him and the flirting bc she limited her interaction with him just once. My HB said no he hasn't brought that up but he think's Mike has had the whole boundary talk with his wife. and for some reason i felt a wave of relief when he said that, i don't know if Mike ever truly had that talk with kaylee But all those crazy feelings i had left instantly. Lastly i will keep an eye on both my HB & kaylee to make sure they behave appropriately. My HB really is trying and meeting me half way and so am I, everyday we tell each other how much we love one another, and give more love and affection to each other as well as our son and he's been happier since his dad is doing alot more with him.

Aunt Ava ty for your advice it really did help me.
 

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Yea, some counseling sounds in order.

Your husband needs to back off from Kaylee. She needs to back off as well.
 

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Sorry to have to say this but I would not be surprised if something happened between Kaylee and your husband while you were away. How much of something? We don't know that but I would do some digging. If you try to confront either one of them it will only push them to be more secretive if anything is going on. She does not act normal around your husband, she acts jealous and I'm surprised HER husband hasn't called her out on that.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
thanks guys for reading all that lol i know it was really long but really do appreciate your words of advice. Like i said i confronted my HB about Kaylee and i set boundaries for him like no more touching including those "pokes" and for him to lay off her bc I feel like i'm being disrespected and unappreciated. I'm still getting to know Kaylee but i do notice she does get visibly upset when my n my HB are affectionate. Lol like my mother said I got a pair and i need to tell Kaylee to back off my man. Me n the HB are currently in counselling hopefully we can work on us and my own issues. Again tks for your input guys :)
 

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Sounds like she has a thing for your husband, kinda sounds like he may have had a thing for her too. I'm not buying the 'kid sister' rationale either.

I would do everything possible to make sure he isn't around her at all unless you are there to. Some call it jealousy, I call it protecting the marriage.
 
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