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My advice is to not get married any time soon. Push that way, way out (if ever). It sounds like you need to get all the details. Also, I would suggest a polygraph to make sure that none of this happened while you were exclusive.

You are not being weird. Trust your gut.

p.s. I agree that many/most/all of the wives were in the dark about this. Seriously, what wife would put up with that? What are the chances that most of her clients wives would?
 

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for me too. This should be her secret forever.
To be fair, she told her man and he probably needs to be informed.

I don't really care about a woman's past as long as it stays there and I would need to know about prostitution, porn or extreme promiscuity with folks I might run into.
 

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lol.....the sacred sex worker and sex John covenant. What is the world coming to if sex workers and the perv....I mean Johns that visit them can't count on the prostitute/John privilege.
That is the thing to be bothered by.
LOL! Out em all. Let the whole world know!
Why does the world need to know???
 

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Not only was she engaged in prostitution, but she also was in a lesbian relationship.

Did she conceal that relationship from you until after you fell in love with her. Did she keep that woman in her life as a friend or other former lovers?

Does she consider sex with other women cheating?

She sounds like a bit like a sexual omnivour who may grow bored of you.
 

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for me too. This should be her secret forever.
I disagree because he has to work with these guys. For them to go to work party and these guys know they were getting their rocks off with the boss's wife. Hell no!

I would not let my wife work with or become friends with someone i had a sexual relationship in the past. To now intimate things about them and vice versa and not make my wife aware? Not.

Same with me. I told her long ago if i start to become friendly with some guy and she has screwed him in the past...she better tell me or we are going to have issues. I do not want to be buddies with some dude that has done my wife.
 

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for me too. This should be her secret forever.
I disagree because he has to work with these guys. For them to go to work party and these guys know they were getting their rocks off with the boss's wife. Hell no!

I would not let my wife work with or become friends with someone i had a sexual relationship in the past. To now intimate things about them and vice versa and not make my wife aware? Not.

Same with me. I told her long ago if i start to become friendly with some guy and she has screwed him in the past...she better tell me or we are going to have issues. I do not want to be buddies with some dude that has done my wife.
Keeping a "secret forever" is reasonable only if you have complete control over that secret and your spouse finding out about that secret wouldn't be destructive. Neither is the case here. Let's get real; if there is an issue with something in the past becoming known, something that would likely be an issue, and you don't want to reveal it because of that... you're having a relationship with the wrong person. How hard is this to understand? There's no reason to place judgment on either party for this. It's just a thing that needs to be treated more seriously than many here seem to think necessary. This is not a no-harm/no-foul situation, if you don't have complete control over all aspects of the secret. Control means several things, among them, absolute control over discovery of the information, and control over how that information affects the person carrying the secret (is it something that involves trauma and could cause trouble down the road until dealt with?).

Relationships aren't static. The point in time that exists when you're infatuated and making the decision to spend the rest of your life with another person... that point in time exists only then. Things change down the road. The relationship becomes more dependent upon issues that have nothing to do with intimacy, and yet everything to do with intimacy. Try to see yourself through your partner's eyes, now, and then try to see yourself through your partner's eyes 5 years down the road, if they were to suddenly come across this "secret" and maybe this happened at a tough spot in the marriage. How might they react?
 

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As I see it here the main problem is not so much what she actually did, but is firstly the fact that she lied and didnt tell you much earlier, secondly that she sees nothing wrong with being part of cheating with married men(whose wives clearly dont know whatever she says), and thirdly her moral values and beliefs in how important faithfulness in marriage is seem to be very different from yours.
I think you would be very unwise to think of marrying her for these reasons. I fear you may be back here in a fear years with big issues in your marriage. Many red flags here.
I fear things will blow up initially due to you both knowing several of the men she has cheated with.
 

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She told me after some prodding. We all work in the same field
As others have said you get to decide what you want.

My advice is as follows. Depending on your field of work, this could be a career deal killer or not. In college I worked for as a longshoreman. Such a wife would not matter to that field of work. In my current field of work, having co-workers know my wife had been a sex worker that serviced them could be a career killer. I would not go into politics, if I were you. However, if any of your coworkers ever said anything to you, you can look them in the eye and tell them that you don't care and you have to wonder what their wife or girlfriends would think about the disgusting things she got them to do. Then say if they never bring it up again, you will never blackmail them about it.

So you need to do some deep self introspection on her, your love for her and your ability to support the both of you and possibly a family in your "current line of work."

Now the next thing about becoming involved with any kind of sex worker, is knowing exactly how they feel about you. What I am trying to say is that by definition sex workers treat it as a job or profession. They learn to separate their own feelings from the "customer service" they provide. Sometimes (not always) they look down at their clients as losers and will eventually transfer such feeling to all or almost all men. You need to make sure she doesn't view you as a loser and that she doesn't ever slip into a "professional" mindset with you. Sex workers are good at providing their customers with the illusion of intimacy, with the illusion of love, with the illusion of caring about their customer. Make sure that she really does care about you and that she is willing to give up her old profession.

I would strongly suggest that if you decide you want to share your life with her that you work with a marriage counselor and your love partner on boundaries within marriage, on what you want your marriage to be like in 6, 10, 25 years.
 

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So much of what's been written hinges on the premise that she was a bona fide "sex worker." But what if that's not the case? What if it's a misguided cover up for things she engaged in, with married men, that had nothing to do with "work". That what actually went on were affairs with married men?
 

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The person in question was not a professional. But OP believing she is is central to the idea these were not in any way emotionally-entangled relationships.
If you are paid for work on a regular basis, then you are a professional. Whether you are good at it or not, ethical with it or not, are separate issues altogether.
 

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OP, someone else pointed out an angle and I must agree with it.
You say some of these men were married? Wives didn't know and consent?
She willingly was involved in a marriage betrayal....apparently many times.
You are thinking about marrying her. I assume you expect monogamy?
She has clearly displayed the value/character of cheating....being involved in cheating. Doing intimate things to another person's spouse and taking part in betraying these wives.

If you proceed with marriage...you are doing it with your eyes wide open. You deserve what ends up coming your way.
 

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Discussion Starter #135
OP, someone else pointed out an angle and I must agree with it.
You say some of these men were married? Wives didn't know and consent?
She willingly was involved in a marriage betrayal....apparently many times.
You are thinking about marrying her. I assume you expect monogamy?
She has clearly displayed the value/character of cheating....being involved in cheating. Doing intimate things to another person's spouse and taking part in betraying these wives.

If you proceed with marriage...you are doing it with your eyes wide open. You deserve what ends up coming your way.
I dont know if all the mens wives knew or not. My next question though would be even if they did know, I would consider that cheating or being unfaithful. What do you guys think.
She has also said on several occasions she thinks I'll get bored with monogamy since I've only had a couple sexual partners in my life, and thinks I should (with her permission) sleep with another person before we get married. I have expressed that I am firmly against this and I would consider anything of the such cheating.

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I dont know if all the mens wives knew or not. My next question though would be even if they did know, I would consider that cheating or being unfaithful. What do you guys think.
She has also said on several occasions she thinks I'll get bored with monogamy since I've only had a couple sexual partners in my life, and thinks I should (with her permission) sleep with another person before we get married. I have expressed that I am firmly against this and I would consider anything of the such cheating.

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Wow.
You have to be majorly kinky and loose for that.

So, unless you are kinky and into 3-somes....she is TELLING YOU right now she is going to screw others in the future so you better be on board with to too.
If not. Break up.....move on.
 

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Discussion Starter #137
Wow.
You have to be majorly kinky and lose for that.

So, unless you are kinky and into 3-somes....she is TELLING YOU right now she is going to screw others in the future so you better be on board with to too.
If not. Break up.....move on.
I dont know if she wants to have a threesome but rather she thinks I should have like a 1 night stand before we get married

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Discussion Starter #139
I’m not trying to distinguish between a noob vs an experienced sex worker. I’m suggesting she might be using the claim as a cover, with no payment for services rendered at all.
While I'm not saying this never happened Im almost certain some of the people definitely paid because she used the money or so she claims for medical bills

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I dont know if all the mens wives knew or not. My next question though would be even if they did know, I would consider that cheating or being unfaithful. What do you guys think.
She has also said on several occasions she thinks I'll get bored with monogamy since I've only had a couple sexual partners in my life, and thinks I should (with her permission) sleep with another person before we get married. I have expressed that I am firmly against this and I would consider anything of the such cheating.

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Unbelievable. She says this and you dont hear major alarm bells ringing???? She clearly thinks nothing of faithfulness as I said before. Making a comment like that I would suspect she has either already cheated or intends to. Honestly you two are on a completely different page and if you want a faithful wife she isnt it. You would be mad to go ahead with this relationship.
 
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