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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

That's not what I mean.She is entitled to get a tattoo if she wants one,or ten.I met men like this before they think they control everything.
She is free to get 100 tattoos but not with a man who hates them.
She knew that.
When you are married/engaged you are supposed to think of the other spouse believe it or not, and not just your own selfish desires/wants.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

That's not what I mean.She is entitled to get a tattoo if she wants one,or ten.I met men like this before they think they control everything.
Just as she is entitled to get a tattoo, he is entitled to leave because he doesn't want to be in a relationship with a tattooed woman. Seems simple enough.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Robbie, Robbie

Your cupboard is bare.

In this world, "You don't always get what you want"!
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Which I believe he did.
Last I looked, they were together and expecting a baby girl. IIRC, they're in couples counseling and considering marriage in the future.

@Andy1001

I haven't been to check your thread since Thanksgiving. I got triggered.

LSS, my mother's brother was a gay man. My "step father" (they were together 18 years, but never married) was a homophobe back in the day. My Uncle lived out of state and wasn't allowed over to visit if his partner was with him and dad wanted him around in a very limited way. My mom fought bitterly with him over it, but she was disabled, unemployable, and had 3 young kids, so our interaction with Uncle was not as much as it could have been and mostly done in secret via phone and letter.

When my mother died, my dad basically disappeared with us and kept us from contact with my gay uncle and my mothers other brother, too. They were the last of my blood family other than a two siblings and a few cousins. Cousins I also missed out on having in my life.

My hetero uncle looked for us for 17 years before he found us. He has cancer and has been battling it for 8 years. My gay uncle passed away some years back. I wonder if Uncle thought we didn't love him, if he missed us, if he thought about us, if he was hurting over it all when he was approaching the end of his life...

The comments about Ally made by J's family made me want to throat punch people. I had to avoid the thread for a bit. Sorry, man.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Sorry @MJJEAN, that's aweful.

On tattoos, better before marriage. After 10 years of marriage I came home from a 10 day business trip and my wife says "I have something to show you". It was a shock, but not a deal breaker (it helped that it was a tribute to me).
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Sorry @MJJEAN, that's aweful.

On tattoos, better before marriage. After 10 years of marriage I came home from a 10 day business trip and my wife says "I have something to show you". It was a shock, but not a deal breaker (it helped that it was a tribute to me).
Thanks. It was a different world back then. I'm thrilled at how far we've come and hopeful for the future. I just wish Uncle would have lived to see gay folks raising families and getting legally married. He would have been so happy.

Anyways, back to the topic, I'd never get a tattoo without clearing it with DH. Frankly, he'd have to look at it more than I would and I wouldn't want to risk him being turned off by it. I like sex way too much for that! :grin2:

My DD, who is 23, got my name in cursive on her shoulder blade a few months ago. I am trying to convince her to get "Made by" done stamp style above it.

I can almost see Andy cringing.
 

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Discussion Starter #928 (Edited)
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Last I looked, they were together and expecting a baby girl. IIRC, they're in couples counseling and considering marriage in the future.

@Andy1001

I haven't been to check your thread since Thanksgiving. I got triggered.

LSS, my mother's brother was a gay man. My "step father" (they were together 18 years, but never married) was a homophobe back in the day. My Uncle lived out of state and wasn't allowed over to visit if his partner was with him and dad wanted him around in a very limited way. My mom fought bitterly with him over it, but she was disabled, unemployable, and had 3 young kids, so our interaction with Uncle was not as much as it could have been and mostly done in secret via phone and letter.

When my mother died, my dad basically disappeared with us and kept us from contact with my gay uncle and my mothers other brother, too. They were the last of my blood family other than a two siblings and a few cousins. Cousins I also missed out on having in my life.

My hetero uncle looked for us for 17 years before he found us. He has cancer and has been battling it for 8 years. My gay uncle passed away some years back. I wonder if Uncle thought we didn't love him, if he missed us, if he thought about us, if he was hurting over it all when he was approaching the end of his life...

The comments about Ally made by J's family made me want to throat punch people. I had to avoid the thread for a bit. Sorry, man.
Hi MJ.I am really sorry that something that I wrote triggered a bad memory for you about your uncle,may he rest in peace.You have given me some good advice on this forum and I appreciate it.You have also given me some good laughs and your comment about someone insulting your sisters dog is the funniest thing I heard in years.
J has about six or seven weeks to go and we are living together and getting on ok.Ally has moved out to her own place.We were in counselling for a while but Js emotions were all over the place so we stopped going at least for the time being.We did a lot of weekend traveling for a while but she can't fly anymore so we are back in my house.
 

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Discussion Starter #929
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Thanks. It was a different world back then. I'm thrilled at how far we've come and hopeful for the future. I just wish Uncle would have lived to see gay folks raising families and getting legally married. He would have been so happy.

Anyways, back to the topic, I'd never get a tattoo without clearing it with DH. Frankly, he'd have to look at it more than I would and I wouldn't want to risk him being turned off by it. I like sex way too much for that! :grin2:

My DD, who is 23, got my name in cursive on her shoulder blade a few months ago. I am trying to convince her to get "Made by" done stamp style above it.

I can almost see Andy cringing.
No No No No No
Just No.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Hi MJ.I am really sorry that something that I wrote triggered a bad memory for you about your uncle,may he rest in peace.You have given me some good advice on this forum and I appreciate it.You have also given me some good laughs and your comment about someone insulting your sisters dog is the funniest thing I heard in years.
J has about six or seven weeks to go and we are living together and getting on ok.Ally has moved out to her own place.We were in counselling for a while but Js emotions were all over the place so we stopped going at least for the time being.We did a lot of traveling for a while but she can't fly anymore so we are back in my house.
Aww, no need to be sorry. It's not your fault my dad was a d*uche in the 80's an 90's. I found out the whole story about my uncles from the one battling cancer a couple years ago. I rarely talk to my dad now and when I do it's out of familial obligation. He did raise me, after all. And he makes steak that tastes like it was marinaded in angel tears. I need the recipe, dammit!

Ahh, Lily (the dog) and the brawl at the mud bog!! :rofl:

J's emotions being all over the place is totally normal during pregnancy and the post-partum period, too. She'll be sane again within about a year, maybe less, maybe more. Hormones and sleep deprivation...UGH! Just remain calm, help as much as possible, and roll with it!
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

No No No No No
Just No.
Oh, I was NOT pleased. However, what's done is done and I might as well have fun with it, right? I told her I want the "Made by" thing because I want the world to know I manufacture quality humans.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

No No No No No
Just No.
Boy, that "No-No Tattoo" would get her no man.............and no fun!

The worst thing a women can say to a man is........NO!

Even her future babies would be put off by "those" words on her arm.

Then again, maybe if she added "Andy" before those no's, all would be

Hunky-Dorys and no stubborn Dorks.

This is satire....well, maybe Salt-tire......no harm meant >:)
 

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Discussion Starter #933
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Aww, no need to be sorry. It's not your fault my dad was a d*uche in the 80's an 90's. I found out the whole story about my uncles from the one battling cancer a couple years ago. I rarely talk to my dad now and when I do it's out of familial obligation. He did raise me, after all. And he makes steak that tastes like it was marinaded in angel tears. I need the recipe, dammit!

Ahh, Lily (the dog) and the brawl at the mud bog!! :rofl:

J's emotions being all over the place is totally normal during pregnancy and the post-partum period, too. She'll be sane again within about a year, maybe less, maybe more. Hormones and sleep deprivation...UGH! Just remain calm, help as much as possible, and roll with it!
She is all over the place all right,jeeez.She goes from talking about how this baby is going to become a famous athlete to swearing that as soon as she is born I can have full custody and she is doing her own thing.Her sister told me she was far worse when she was pregnant with her son and repeatedly threatened to give him up for adoption as soon as he was born.Of course as soon as she held him in her arms all this talk was forgotten about.The sleepless nights won't bother me,I start work before three am and am finished by five so I am used to being up all night anyway,plus I don't sleep for more than two hours a night at the best of times.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

She is all over the place all right,jeeez.She goes from talking about how this baby is going to become a famous athlete to swearing that as soon as she is born I can have full custody and she is doing her own thing.Her sister told me she was far worse when she was pregnant with her son and repeatedly threatened to give him up for adoption as soon as he was born.Of course as soon as she held him in her arms all this talk was forgotten about.The sleepless nights won't bother me,I start work before three am and am finished by five so I am used to being up all night anyway,plus I don't sleep for more than two hours a night at the best of times.
Carrying my son, I was fine. Carrying my daughters, I was a raving lunatic. Really, the hormones are the worst of it for some of us. Then there's the worries and "what if's" to add a little spice to the insanity.

It's good that you are something of a nocturnal insomniac. You could take the night feedings so that J can get some rest. If she opts to breast feed, she can pump the milk into bottles for you to give Baby Girl at night. If not, making formula isn't hard at all.

Back when myself and friends were having babies, we were SAHM's and let the daddies sleep for work as most worked early shift physical jobs. This meant a lot of the dad's didn't really, really, bond with the little ones until later when they were able to do more hands on care. You have the opportunity to bond tight very early. That's pretty awesome!

Just another month and some change to go! Have you done baby classes or are you relying on J to teach you how to hold, feed, burp, and change the little sprite?
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

She was sort of betrayed, but this would be a red flag for me. Personally, I'd be on the way out. All your talks are centering around YOUR actions which, are not related to the incident or previous ones. Did you ask her if the family members said the same things to her?

Good luck dude, this sounds more and more like a nightmare. Still, a KISA loves drama.
He did betray her by talking behind his fiancee back.She should break up with him
 

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Discussion Starter #937 (Edited)
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Carrying my son, I was fine. Carrying my daughters, I was a raving lunatic. Really, the hormones are the worst of it for some of us. Then there's the worries and "what if's" to add a little spice to the insanity.

It's good that you are something of a nocturnal insomniac. You could take the night feedings so that J can get some rest. If she opts to breast feed, she can pump the milk into bottles for you to give Baby Girl at night. If not, making formula isn't hard at all.

Back when myself and friends were having babies, we were SAHM's and let the daddies sleep for work as most worked early shift physical jobs. This meant a lot of the dad's didn't really, really, bond with the little ones until later when they were able to do more hands on care. You have the opportunity to bond tight very early. That's pretty awesome!

Just another month and some change to go! Have you done baby classes or are you relying on J to teach you how to hold, feed, burp, and change the little sprite?
We did go to some classes but I wasn't ready for the childbirth video and almost throwing up didn't impress anyone.J thought it was funny though.It's the thought of dirty diapers that is really worrying me but everyone tells me that your own baby's poop doesn't stink.I will take that under advisement.As far as night feeding goes I will have no problem with that.I'm not actually an insomniac it's far more complicated than that,lol.I wake up after a couple of hours sleep completely alert,not exhausted like an insomniac would.Even after a night of drinking I wake up at two thirty at the latest and am ready for action.I was part of a study by one of the universities when I was a kid,they were suggesting drug treatment but my Mom didn't allow it and wouldn't let them publish my name in the resulting paper either.It really has never bothered me though.During my long time at college (six months) I could study all night If necessary for days on end.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

We did go to some classes but I wasn't ready for the childbirth video and almost throwing up didn't impress anyone.J thought it was funny though.It's the thought of dirty diapers that is really worrying me but everyone tells me that your own baby's poop doesn't stink.I will take that under advisement.As far as night feeding goes I will have no problem with that.I'm not actually an insomniac it's far more complicated than that,lol.I wake up after a couple of hours sleep completely alert,not exhausted like an insomniac would.Even after a night of drinking I wake up at two thirty at the latest and am ready for action.I was part of a study by one of the universities when I was a kid,they were suggesting drug treatment but my Mom didn't allow it and wouldn't let them publish my name in the resulting paper either.It really has never bothered me though.During my long time at college (six months) I could study all night If necessary for days on end.
I won't lie, childbirth is gross. If you stand by the head of the bed, you don't have to look at the gross stuff. It's optional.

My dad had a weak stomach, total wimp, but he wanted to be there for mom when she had my siblings. He'd coach through the labor and then step out into the hall when the head crowned. He'd come back into the room after the baby was cleaned up. Knowing how easily he'd throw up or pass out, Mom totally understood and never held it against him.

You have been lied to! Your own baby's poop absolutely does stink! For the first few weeks, it really doesn't have much of a scent. The scent does eventually appear and so does a variety of colors depending what the baby has had to eat and drink. If Baby Girl poops mustard yellow, don't freak out.

And now I am going to get sort of graphic. A lot of men are uncomfortable changing baby girl diapers because you must thoroughly clean ALL of the cracks and crevices to prevent diaper rash. Sometimes, baby poop gets into the labia and must be cleaned. It seems men have a hard time with this because they are afraid they'll hurt the baby. There is a procedure for this, so ask J to show you. Basically, remember to wipe front to back. Never wipe back to front or you could push bacteria into the vagina and give Baby Girl an infection.

OMG! My sister and I were both like that as kids! We'd randomly wake up every 2-3 hours, wide awake, then fall back to sleep...sometime...maybe. My sister had night terrors and was a sleepwalker when she did sleep. She's in her 30's now and she's still like that, minus the terrors and sleepwalking. Being a neat freak with a husband, 6 daughters, and a couple dogs, Sis actually loves how little sleep she needs. When I hit my mid 30's, I started sleeping 4-6 hours at a stretch. Now, at 41, I need a minimum of 6 to function.

God, how I loved being able to sleep 3-4 hours and wake up raring to go. I used to get up between 2-3 am, bake dozens of cookies, study for exams, and watch MTV. This was back when MTV actually showed nothing but music videos, rofl. After I left school, I'd use that wee hours time to read whatever book I was into at the time without being interrupted by my rugrats.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

I won't lie, childbirth is gross. If you stand by the head of the bed, you don't have to look at the gross stuff. It's optional.

My dad had a weak stomach, total wimp, but he wanted to be there for mom when she had my siblings. He'd coach through the labor and then step out into the hall when the head crowned. He'd come back into the room after the baby was cleaned up. Knowing how easily he'd throw up or pass out, Mom totally understood and never held it against him.

You have been lied to! Your own baby's poop absolutely does stink! For the first few weeks, it really doesn't have much of a scent. The scent does eventually appear and so does a variety of colors depending what the baby has had to eat and drink. If Baby Girl poops mustard yellow, don't freak out.

And now I am going to get sort of graphic. A lot of men are uncomfortable changing baby girl diapers because you must thoroughly clean ALL of the cracks and crevices to prevent diaper rash. Sometimes, baby poop gets into the labia and must be cleaned. It seems men have a hard time with this because they are afraid they'll hurt the baby. There is a procedure for this, so ask J to show you. Basically, remember to wipe front to back. Never wipe back to front or you could push bacteria into the vagina and give Baby Girl an infection.

OMG! My sister and I were both like that as kids! We'd randomly wake up every 2-3 hours, wide awake, then fall back to sleep...sometime...maybe. My sister had night terrors and was a sleepwalker when she did sleep. She's in her 30's now and she's still like that, minus the terrors and sleepwalking. Being a neat freak with a husband, 6 daughters, and a couple dogs, Sis actually loves how little sleep she needs. When I hit my mid 30's, I started sleeping 4-6 hours at a stretch. Now, at 41, I need a minimum of 6 to function.

God, how I loved being able to sleep 3-4 hours and wake up raring to go. I used to get up between 2-3 am, bake dozens of cookies, study for exams, and watch MTV. This was back when MTV actually showed nothing but music videos, rofl. After I left school, I'd use that wee hours time to read whatever book I was into at the time without being interrupted by my rugrats.
If you're trying to cheer me up it's not working.lol.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

If you're trying to cheer me up it's not working.lol.
Relax! It's really not all that bad. Some parents who are a bit squeamish just hold their breath and dive in to whatever kid related chore needs done. Some otherwise squeamish parents are surprised to find out they're troupers with their own child's grossness. Some, like my dad, run screaming from the room every time the kid needs a changing!

If you want my guess, I think you'll be the kind of dad who just pinches your nose and does what needs to be done.
 
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