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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Good lord dude, you keep playing the game. Get your head straight before you even try to be a parent. This entire dynamic, you included, is awful. Of course you missed her, you've done ABSOLUTELY nothing to detach and neither has she. Either marry her or don't, but you two aren't acting any better than her parents. You just are playing the same game in reverse.
 

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Discussion Starter #762 (Edited)
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Good lord dude, you keep playing the game. Get your head straight before you even try to be a parent. This entire dynamic, you included, is awful. Of course you missed her, you've done ABSOLUTELY nothing to detach and neither has she. Either marry her or don't, but you two aren't acting any better than her parents. You just are playing the same game in reverse.
What do you mean playing the game?
I had no contact with J for weeks and it was the worst time of my life.We got back in contact because she is pregnant.I have no experience in relationships and that's why I started posting on tam.You want advice on ons then I'm your man otherwise I'm fcukin lost.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

What do you mean playing the game?
I had no contact with J for weeks and it was the worst time of my life.We got back in contact because she is pregnant.I have no experience in relationships and that's why I started posting on tam.You want advice on ons then I'm your man otherwise I'm fcukin lost.
OK, young man. You have no experience with relationships, me neither. My fiancé dumped me for another man, she ran off and married him. Good for her. I vowed I would never get involved with women again, and so far I haven't. So why am I posting to you?

My sister and her husband had a son that they wanted me to raise for them, because they couldn't cope with him. I was resistant at first, but I took him, at a few months old, and started raising him as my own. They, a few years later, had another son that I also took in to raise. Today these two boys are 13 and 7. And even though my sister cheated on and left their biological father, they still look to me as their dad. The seven year old still calls me dad.

My point to you is this. Whether or not you stay with your fiancé, the kid is yours. You don't need to stay with her to be important to your child. You just need to be a part of the child's life! Make your presence and love known.
 

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Discussion Starter #764
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

OK, young man. You have no experience with relationships, me neither. My fiancé dumped me for another man, she ran off and married him. Good for her. I vowed I would never get involved with women again, and so far I haven't. So why am I posting to you?

My sister and her husband had a son that they wanted me to raise for them, because they couldn't cope with him. I was resistant at first, but I took him, at a few months old, and started raising him as my own. They, a few years later, had another son that I also took in to raise. Today these two boys are 13 and 7. And even though my sister cheated on and left their biological father, they still look to me as their dad. The seven year old still calls me dad.

My point to you is this. Whether or not you stay with your fiancé, the kid is yours. You don't need to stay with her to be important to your child. You just need to be a part of the child's life! Make your presence and love known.
Thank you for taking the time to comment and for the advice.What you are doing for your nephews is very kind and I'm sure they and your sister appreciate it.
 

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Discussion Starter #765 (Edited)
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

I've just had a long day with lawyers,J has signed a fifty fifty custody agreement and that was the main thing I wanted to accomplish.The baby gets twenty percent of her inheritance on her eighteenth birthday,thirty percent on her twenty first and the rest at twenty five.Hopefully I'm still around to see this.Js son has his education paid for up until he is twenty five so that pleased J as well.I am buying the house I talked about and it will be in my daughters name but she can't sell until she is twenty five without my permission.If J tries to contest this at any stage then all the money reverts to me and her son gets nothing.I asked her did she want her own lawyer to check this out but she said no.I had to rush this through after what happened on Sunday.

As I said we had arranged to go out on Sunday with the boy but Js mother wanted to come over to see him because it was his birthday.I made J text her mother that we were going out but to come over to her rental at six.We went to an indoor/outdoor water park but it started raining heavily and the indoor attractions were packed.The boy asked could we go back to my house so he could swim so that's what we did.J texted her mother to tell her to come to my house instead of hers and that was her first reason to start *****ing because she said how could we be at the pool in the rain.Now Js sisters have been over at my house a few times but only at the outside pool or the garden and her father did some work on the railings and gates etc but none of them had ever seen the full house.Building control in my area only lets you build two stories up so when I built my house I went two stories down as well and I have an indoor pool.When I showed Js mother the inside of my house I thought she was going to get sick with jealousy.She was silent for a while and then said it was a disgrace that one man had so much space when millions of people were homeless.She then said to J that she was lucky that we were broken up as otherwise she(J) would spend all her life keeping the house clean.I had been polite to her up until then so I just said sweetly that my housekeeping staff looked after the house and I had never even swept the floor myself.I thought she was going to throw me in the pool at this stage.She had a couple of plastic bags with her and she gave them to the boy,it was some of his toys that she hadn't gave back when she threw J out,not even a birthday card for him.
She told J she wanted to talk privately to her so I brought her father upstairs for a beer.He hadn't even drank half of it when Js mom appeared and said they were leaving.She never looked at me and they left.
I went downstairs again and J was in tears,she said her mother asked her for money for repairs to their house but she had refused.She said the house had subsidence problems and needed a new roof and windows.She asked J for a hundred grand but J said she needed her money for herself.Her mother asked her was I not going to support her and J said it was none of her business.Her mother called her a selfish ***** that would see her family homeless while she had hundreds of thousands in the bank.J tried explaining that she was paying two grand a month rent and needed her own money but her mother stormed out.
I asked J was the house that bad and she confirmed it was and she doesn't think it is insured either.Apparently her fathers earnings don't match her mothers spending.If it was anyone other than that btich I would at least help them out but no way is she getting a cent of me.I asked J did she want to give her mother any money at all but she said it would never end and there would always be another expense and she would come looking for a handout regularly.She reckons she has given her mother thousands of dollars over the years as well as five hundred a week for her and the boy living there.Now I know where the profit from the gym was going.
At that stage Ally arrived and she was in tears too.She had met Js parents at the security gate and Js mother shouted at her was she the "queer"who lived with me,there were other neighbors and the security guy there and they all heard this..I was fcukin furious at this stage and I rang her and told her she was a homophobic money grabbing ***** and if she ever came near my house again I would have her arrested.She was screaming down the phone that she would get a lawyer and make sure when J had the baby I would pay for it but never get to see it.She couldn't even call the baby her,she called her it.Ally and J were both crying at this stage but the boy was playing in one of the rooms and hadn't heard anything.
I told J that I wanted to get the custody sorted out just in case anything happened and her mother tried to get custody and she agreed so I rang the lawyers on Monday morning and set the wheels in motion.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Wow. What a weekend. It's good that you have custody ect sorted. Now what about a will for J? If she ever passed away, does the custody of the child fall to you in full? It sounds like her mother just wants the money. But it also sounds like it was a dramatic day, on a day that should have been happy for her son. Drama is attracted to you.
 

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Discussion Starter #767
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Wow. What a weekend. It's good that you have custody ect sorted. Now what about a will for J? If she ever passed away, does the custody of the child fall to you in full? It sounds like her mother just wants the money. But it also sounds like it was a dramatic day, on a day that should have been happy for her son. Drama is attracted to you.
J is getting a will written this week and I will have full custody if anything unforeseen happens.You are not kidding about the drama,I seem to attract it all right.When the two people you love the most in the world have been reduced to tears by some btich with delusions of grandeur it is time to act though.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

J is getting a will written this week and I will have full custody if anything unforeseen happens.You are not kidding about the drama,I seem to attract it all right.When the two people you love the most in the world have been reduced to tears by some btich with delusions of grandeur it is time to act though.


Hopefully when you get all the legal stuff sorted out etc you guys can try to relax and get away from the drama.
Her mother sounds like a gold digger...you are right for putting all this protection in place.
How has J been feeling?


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Discussion Starter #769
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Hopefully when you get all the legal stuff sorted out etc you guys can try to relax and get away from the drama.
Her mother sounds like a gold digger...you are right for putting all this protection in place.
How has J been feeling?


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J is doing ok and the baby is fine.It's all this crap from her mother that is getting to her.We are getting on great at the moment but I have been staying in my own house at night,it's not fair on the boy if he wakes up to find me there and then it doesn't work out.I'm starting to think it will work out but I'm not rushing into anything.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Well I've just spent the day with J and the boy and she told me she wants to invite her family for thanksgiving.It was supposed to be at my house but no way is her mother coming to my house again.So the new plan is to have it at her rental.Now I am really falling for J again but to be honest she can't cook.I would have got someone to prepare the food and deliver it or just ate out somewhere but she insists she is going to cook a turkey on Thursday.She has invited Ally and two weeks ago Js mother called Ally a fcukin queer.Js mother is still looking for money for house repairs and as she is as tactful as Donald Trump she is bound to bring it up during dinner.Ally told me she will help J cook.Ally could burn a salad.
I can't fcukin wait.
 

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Discussion Starter #772 (Edited)
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

I may have been unclear in my post.Its not the food that I will be eating that's the problem.I joke about Js cooking ability but never to her face,only on tam.It will just give her mother another reason to ***** and believe me she can ***** at Olympic level.She has been texting J since last week asking for money and I know J will give in.I don't want her upset,she is almost five months pregnant and she will probably cave and give her mother some money at least.Also Ally is not going to roll over if Mommy starts with the anti gay comments and she will give as good as she gets.I genuinely cannot understand homophobia and why it is that people can't let other people live their lives as they see fit.My attitude has always been as long as nobody is getting hurt or abused then live the life you want.
I may have a part solution though.Im going to suggest to J to move into my house before Christmas and let her parents move into her rental for the remaining three months of the lease.They can get whatever urgent works that are needed on the house completed without anyone living there so it should get done a lot quicker.It will also be easier on J not being on her own for the remaining three months of the pregnancy and I will be happier to be able to look after her.
I never really celebrated thanksgiving,neither of my parents were born in the US so it wasn't such a big deal to us.My brother and his family celebrate big time though and my sister in law invited me over to London to stay with them.She doesn't know I was in the UK three weeks ago and would be upset that I didn't visit.She also doesn't know that J and me are back together and I have no intention of telling her or my brother,he acted like a real ******* when we split up and all my old problems with him resurfaced.He knows I hold him responsible for my fathers death and he has never even tried to talk it over with me.
 

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Discussion Starter #773
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

You have two lovely women dying to cook for you. I would eat dirt if they served it to me with love.

The qu*** part is a legitimate complaint.

You won't be the first guy that hated his MIL and had to suck it up for Thanksgiving.
You are right of course,my previous post was supposed to respond to you but it wouldn't quote for some reason.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

There will be much more of this to come...that family seems drawn to drama.
My advice is eat the cooking...who knows she might get better with practice. Although coming from a really bad cook that isn't the case lol.



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Fiancées tattoo.

There will be much more of this to come...that family seems drawn to drama.
My advice is eat the cooking...who knows she might get better with practice. Although coming from a really bad cook that isn't the case lol.



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Your other solution applies here too

Fireball with cream soda.
 

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Discussion Starter #776 (Edited)
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

There will be much more of this to come...that family seems drawn to drama.
My advice is eat the cooking...who knows she might get better with practice. Although coming from a really bad cook that isn't the case lol.



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I'm not sure which of them is the worst cook lol.Ally brought a Chinese takeout back to my house a few weeks ago.I was working in my office when the fire alarm went off.She had decided to put it in the oven to keep warm for me but she had left the food in the cardboard boxes.If I hadn't been there the fire service would have been called automatically.
J made me a toasted cheese sandwich on Sunday but forgot to take the plastic of the slices of cheese.
This is only a small example of the cooking prowess of the women in my life.I know I should be grateful that anyone wants to cook for me but I have my sanity to consider.
These two masterchefs are cooking thanksgiving dinner for eight adults and one child on Thursday.
May God have mercy on us.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

I may have been unclear in my post.Its not the food that I will be eating that's the problem.I joke about Js cooking ability but never to her face,only on tam.It will just give her mother another reason to ***** and believe me she can ***** at Olympic level.She has been texting J since last week asking for money and I know J will give in.I don't want her upset,she is almost five months pregnant and she will probably cave and give her mother some money at least.Also Ally is not going to roll over if Mommy starts with the anti gay comments and she will give as good as she gets.I genuinely cannot understand homophobia and why it is that people can't let other people live their lives as they see fit.My attitude has always been as long as nobody is getting hurt or abused then live the life you want.
I may have a part solution though.Im going to suggest to J to move into my house before Christmas and let her parents move into her rental for the remaining three months of the lease.They can get whatever urgent works that are needed on the house completed without anyone living there so it should get done a lot quicker.It will also be easier on J not being on her own for the remaining three months of the pregnancy and I will be happier to be able to look after her.
I never really celebrated thanksgiving,neither of my parents were born in the US so it wasn't such a big deal to us.My brother and his family celebrate big time though and my sister in law invited me over to London to stay with them.She doesn't know I was in the UK three weeks ago and would be upset that I didn't visit.She also doesn't know that J and me are back together and I have no intention of telling her or my brother,he acted like a real ******* when we split up and all my old problems with him resurfaced.He knows I hold him responsible for my fathers death and he has never even tried to talk it over with me.
But...

what if you and J end up splitting up and J's parents refuse to leave the rental? And how are they going to get repairs done when they don't have any money?

One of two things will happen... either they will move in and claim they can't move out since their place can't be repaired or they will force you to foot the repair bill to get J back in the rental and them out.

Also, are you delirious having Thanksgiving with the in-laws? They have insulted you, Ally, J and J's son. Why have any more contact than necessary???
 

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Discussion Starter #778
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

But...

what if you and J end up splitting up and J's parents refuse to leave the rental? And how are they going to get repairs done when they don't have any money?

One of two things will happen... either they will move in and claim they can't move out since their place can't be repaired or they will force you to foot the repair bill to get J back in the rental and them out.

Also, are you delirious having Thanksgiving with the in-laws? They have insulted you, Ally, J and J's son. Why have any more contact than necessary???
Thanks for the comments.By January I will have bought a house for my daughter and if things don't work out with me and J then she can move in there with the children.If her parents don't leave the rental then the property management company will begin proceedings to evict them.It wasn't my idea to invite them for thanksgiving and I refused to have them at my house.
As far as money is concerned they must have some put away or else they can arrange a loan like everybody else.Six months ago I would have just paid for the work myself and forgot about it but now I'm not giving them a cent.If I get really pissed I will offer to buy their house and let them move somewhere smaller.
I just thought of something just as I was typing.Js sisters all work for me,maybe I offer them a loan and take it from their wages.
Anyway, between J and Ally we will all probably be poisoned anyway.Ally would kick my ass if she read this lol.
 
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