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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Wow, what a thread! I just finished reading your story. So my thoughts actually run contrary to the general thinking on this thread. Some of this may not be what you expect to hear so brace yourself.

First of all I do think your ex fiancee is not a bad person - a bit insecure because of her baby daddy, but generally a straight forward (maybe slightly bossy) and loving person who genuinely loved you but lived in constant fear of being dumped by you. And for good reason I might add.


Secondly, you sir, are a narcissist! You have been a player and seem to enjoy stating that you are handsome and a catch! You also appear to be controlling, selfish and cruel and do not understand human relationships and the meaning of compromise. You might actually have been in love with being in love. You should consider the fact that perhaps your brother saw something in you that I am sensing across the internet. You certainly seem to have argued with everyone that called you out on your behaviour. And you are entitled - which makes you an OK small-sized business owner - but when it comes to bigger business, you lack the empathy with different people.


In business you strike me as ruthless and I am seeing that in your personal life too.


I hope your ex-fiancee's picker improves - she tends to pick men that are bad for her. I hope she finds someone that is truly loving.


Tattoos indeed. If they are ugly, then at least it is ugliness on the outside when one can clearly see it. Much better than ugliness on the inside.


As for you, I hope the Karma bus doesn't catch up with you. Good luck.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Could you call her mum? Keeping with the NC theme. Whatever it it is, I have a feeling it's something designed to win you back. If you can talk to her through someone else, it will throw a spanner in the works of her trying to emotionally blackmail you.
 

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Discussion Starter #584 (Edited)
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Wow, what a thread! I just finished reading your story. So my thoughts actually run contrary to the general thinking on this thread. Some of this may not be what you expect to hear so brace yourself.

First of all I do think your ex fiancee is not a bad person - a bit insecure because of her baby daddy, but generally a straight forward (maybe slightly bossy) and loving person who genuinely loved you but lived in constant fear of being dumped by you. And for good reason I might add.


Secondly, you sir, are a narcissist! You have been a player and seem to enjoy stating that you are handsome and a catch! You also appear to be controlling, selfish and cruel and do not understand human relationships and the meaning of compromise. You might actually have been in love with being in love. You should consider the fact that perhaps your brother saw something in you that I am sensing across the internet. You certainly seem to have argued with everyone that called you out on your behaviour. And you are entitled - which makes you an OK small-sized business owner - but when it comes to bigger business, you lack the empathy with different people.


In business you strike me as ruthless and I am seeing that in your personal life too.


I hope your ex-fiancee's picker improves - she tends to pick men that are bad for her. I hope she finds someone that is truly loving.


Tattoos indeed. If they are ugly, then at least it is ugliness on the outside when one can clearly see it. Much better than ugliness on the inside.


As for you, I hope the Karma bus doesn't catch up with you. Good luck.
Why don't you tell me what you really think.lol.
You have made a few points in your post and whether I agree or not I did ask for advice.

You said I was a player and I agree I was.The important word here is WAS.In the five years I was with my ex I never cheated on her.Im not looking for a medal,this is just a fact.

You said I was ruthless in business.I paid my ex far in excess of what her business was Independently valued at,I stress the word independently.I bought her business to stop her going bankrupt.You are entitled to call that controlling or ruthless but I don't see it like that and she left me a thank you message the day the deal was signed.

You said she lived in fear of me leaving her but it was her that brought up the tattoo which was my deal breaker, I have a real phobia about tattoos and she knows this.

I was asked a question from a previous poster which was I handsome and I answered it honestly.However I think my ex is absolutely beautiful and I made that point also.

Now this is something I didn't expect, that someone would bring up my brother in a positive manner.Let me tell you something about my brother,he is a world class *******,ex military and now a "security consultant"and thinks he's a tough guy because he can carry a gun.It was that prick and his fcukin gun that caused the worst thing that ever happened to me in my life and he refuses to take any responsibility for it.
Even at the reading of our parents will he had to act like an overbearing prick,the lawyer even had to ask him to tone down his language.That was what finished me and him,Ally got us back in touch but it is very strained.We are happier with an ocean separating us.
However,thanks for taking the time to write on my thread,I need all the advice I can get.
 

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Discussion Starter #585 (Edited)
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Isn't it time for an update on the Ally and Sam story? :wink2:
I'm starting to think that you have a crush on a gay woman who you have never seen.lol.There isn't any more Ally and Sam,they split up three weeks ago.Ally is buying her own place in this area and we are going to Ireland next month for a short vacation.She is teaching some women's self defence classes in the gym but other than that she is doing nothing.
Sam could not let go of the fact that I had given Ally so much money and pretty much decided that we had betrayed her.She hinted strongly that I should have given her a share of the business as well as Ally but she never helped me and wasnt even on the scene at the start.
I stayed out of their breakup and it was only when Sam told Ally to leave that I let her move in with me.For what it's worth I don't think their relationship was going to last anyway,Sam has changed a lot in the last few and I think she feels that she has outgrown Ally.
I've suggested to Ally that she should consider going back to school but she isn't keen.She never got much of an education so I don't know what she would study anyway.
I know I have said this before but there has never been anything sexual between us.I was disappointed when I found out she was gay but we have been best friends from the day we met.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

And she's just discovering she's pregnant now? Three and a half months later? That is odd. Most women would know they are knocked up way before that. I wonder if she got impregnated by some other guy and is trying to make you Mr. Cuckoo? Be careful.
This

She would know before 3 1/2 months. Women generally start getting
sick pretty quick. I know everyone is not the same but in my experience
it doesn't take too terribly long.

However, there was a show on tv where women supposedly never knew. Course
they were like 400 lbs.
 

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Discussion Starter #590
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

In reply to some messages.My brother is NOT my father.He is sixteen years older than me but he is NOT my father.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Is the timing right for you to be the father?

What now?
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Yes she is pregnant,conception around first week in July.
Why is she just now telling you?

Who told you the conception date?

How do they know conception date without ultrasound unless she knew
she was pregnant the whole time?

I would be real careful moving forward.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Question:

Should pregnant women get tattoos?


When did she know she was pregnant?
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

I would have nasty sex with a tattooed woman, but I would not marry a tattooed woman.
Bandit, I know you’ve been posting awhile and I am usually in agreeance with you (I mostly lurk) however, this is offensive as you have just openly admitted to using someone for sex with the intent of never committing to them (simply because you do not like the fact that the person has tattoos). Not a very benevolent thing to do or say.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Andy1001 I have been a long time lurker but finally registered after reading your entire story here. I know that I am late to this thread but my story...

My wife and I were together for three years before we got married. There were issues with her friends after we got engaged that nearly sabotaged us. She actually started questioning whether I was "good enough" for her because her Sorority sisters kept telling her that she could do so much better than me. I was angry. We split for a while and everyone went nuts. The crazy came out and I wanted to be gone. She's not perfect but neither am I. Ultimately I had to admit that I still loved her, wanted to live my life with her, and she felt the same. I swallowed my pride and we worked through it. We will celebrate 30 years of marriage this year. All of those friends? None of them have been in our lives for years, and judging from facebook most of them have three decades of relationship wreckage in their wake. As for us, it's been quite a ride.

You mentioned recently that you still care for her but too much water has passed under the bridge. I thought that too at one point years ago. If you don't love her then it's done regardless of the baby. But is it?
 

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Discussion Starter #597
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Andy1001 I have been a long time lurker but finally registered after reading your entire story here. I know that I am late to this thread but my story...

My wife and I were together for three years before we got married. There were issues with her friends after we got engaged that nearly sabotaged us. She actually started questioning whether I was "good enough" for her because her Sorority sisters kept telling her that she could do so much better than me. I was angry. We split for a while and everyone went nuts. The crazy came out and I wanted to be gone. She's not perfect but neither am I. Ultimately I had to admit that I still loved her, wanted to live my life with her, and she felt the same. I swallowed my pride and we worked through it. We will celebrate 30 years of marriage this year. All of those friends? None of them have been in our lives for years, and judging from facebook most of them have three decades of relationship wreckage in their wake. As for us, it's been quite a ride.

You mentioned recently that you still care for her but too much water has passed under the bridge. I thought that too at one point years ago. If you don't love her then it's done regardless of the baby. But is it?
Thank you for your comments,you have gave me something to think about.
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

The way I see it is, you were up front with her from the beginning on your feelings about tattoo's.. Stick to it... If she is willing to go back on that on a whim.. what next ??
 

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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

This is no longer about his feelings about tattoos. That is the least of his problems. He now is looking at paternity issues. Whether he still cares for her or not, this is a real issue! Whether he still cares for her or not he has to deal with this.

My advice is... get a DNA test!! Make sure the baby is yours before you dedicate the next 20 years of your life and earnings to it's existence.
 
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