Talk About Marriage banner

381 - 400 of 1202 Posts

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
7,459 Posts
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

You are one smart lady.After almost a week of no contact(on my side) my f has asked if she and the boy can move into my house while I'm away.Im not sure what you meant but I told her it was out of the question.Would you please explain to me how you guessed she would do this.Her excuse is it would be easier than renting as there is already a room in the house that he used plus some games etc that he played with.
I told her if I sell the house she can have first refusal but she doesn't have that sort of money really.
I'm sorry, Andy. She strikes me as a gold digger. From the things you posted, it appears that she is trying to snag you and is trying to find a way to dig in deep enough that you would have a lot of trouble removing her from your home and your life. If she moved in, you'd end up having to call the police to get her out and would end up in court.

She wants what you have. She doesn't really want you.

It feels personal, but I don't think it is. I think that's how she operates. She uses people until they are empty. That is what is happening with her parents. Even her own parents have had enough. They were probably thrilled when you showed up to take her off their hands and now they are just done. So she sees a vacant spot and tries to weasel her way in. I hope she doesn't have a key to your place. Consider getting a house sitter to protect the place while you are gone. Tell them that they are to call 911 if she shows up. If she had keys, change the locks today.


There is no chance of marriage believe me.I admit this last week has been hell,she constantly tried to contact me despite agreeing no contact for a week.I almost gave in late Saturday night as I was really lonely but I didn't.
I should have made it clearer it was her mother who suggested that while I'm away she moves into my house,but I'd say it was at my exf suggestion.
Does she realize that it's not only the wedding that's been called off, but the relationship is over? Have you clearly told her that you are done with her and do not want to have anything to do with her from now on? If you haven't been 100% clear, it is time to do that now. I'm not usually one for texting a breakup, but in this case I'd make an exception. Then block her number.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,223 Posts
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

You know her request was crazy, right?

Did you break up with her totally?
If so, this request is his looney.

It really hurts beyond reason when you break off something this deep--- heck, you almost married the girl.

But the longer you go no contact, the easier it will be to handle. Talking to her will put you back at square one pain level. So I advise against it.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,126 Posts
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

I'm sorry, Andy. She strikes me as a gold digger. From the things you posted, it appears that she is trying to snag you and is trying to find a way to dig in deep enough that you would have a lot of trouble removing her from your home and your life. If she moved in, you'd end up having to call the police to get her out and would end up in court.

She wants what you have. She doesn't really want you.

It feels personal, but I don't think it is. I think that's how she operates. She uses people until they are empty. That is what is happening with her parents. Even her own parents have had enough. They were probably thrilled when you showed up to take her off their hands and now they are just done. So she sees a vacant spot and tries to weasel her way in. I hope she doesn't have a key to your place. Consider getting a house sitter to protect the place while you are gone. Tell them that they are to call 911 if she shows up. If she had keys, change the locks today.



Does she realize that it's not only the wedding that's been called off, but the relationship is over? Have you clearly told her that you are done with her and do not want to have anything to do with her from now on? If you haven't been 100% clear, it is time to do that now. I'm not usually one for texting a breakup, but in this case I'd make an exception. Then block her number.
This is great advice. This is really really good.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,691 Posts
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Andy, I think you should stop worrying about the girl thing right now and start to concentrate on why you have no one in the world that you in your words "can trust". You need some guy friends, that you can trust. This would help you my friend. No matter who you are with if that person is the only one that you trust that is too much responsibility. It will put too much pressure on the relationship and could cause you to do things that are not in your self interest. You need to figure out why it is that you have no close guy friends, and why you are always drawn to women.

After you get that sorted out, when the time comes then you will be ready. Remember the right woman is an asset to your life.

You've got a long life ahead of you bud so don't give up. Good days are ahead.

Also don't feel too bad you didn't marry this Casey Anthony wanabe.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,456 Posts
Discussion Starter #385
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

I'm sorry, Andy. She strikes me as a gold digger. From the things you posted, it appears that she is trying to snag you and is trying to find a way to dig in deep enough that you would have a lot of trouble removing her from your home and your life. If she moved in, you'd end up having to call the police to get her out and would end up in court.

She wants what you have. She doesn't really want you.

It feels personal, but I don't think it is. I think that's how she operates. She uses people until they are empty. That is what is happening with her parents. Even her own parents have had enough. They were probably thrilled when you showed up to take her off their hands and now they are just done. So she sees a vacant spot and tries to weasel her way in. I hope she doesn't have a key to your place. Consider getting a house sitter to protect the place while you are gone. Tell them that they are to call 911 if she shows up. If she had keys, change the locks today.



Does she realize that it's not only the wedding that's been called off, but the relationship is over? Have you clearly told her that you are done with her and do not want to have anything to do with her from now on? If you haven't been 100% clear, it is time to do that now. I'm not usually one for texting a breakup, but in this case I'd make an exception. Then block her number.
I have changed the locks since last week even though she had given me back my keys.My house is fitted with the most up to date smart technology money can buy with my phone I can drop shutters on every door and window,turn off electricity,gas and water and it is in a private estate so if she tried to get in she would be arrested for trespassing.I don't think it will come to that though.
I have texted,emailed and left voice mails to tell her we are done.It hasn't stopped her "friends" from sniffing around though.I am seriously thinking of selling my house though and moving somewhere else.I can work from anywhere in the world once I have a phone and Internet connection.Problem is I don't know many people outside of where I live so I would be even lonelier than I am now.
I can't remember who first told me to get IC but it was the best advice I have ever had.My counsellor cuts right to the chase,no bull****,and I don't think she is too impressed with me or my lifestyle.But she is less impressed with my former lifestyle so maybe she sees some hope for me.I,would hate to be her husband trying to explain where he was until three in the morning though lol.She was adamant that if I continued to see my exf then our sessions were over.She is trying to push me on my relationship with my brother but I think that is a lost cause.She has backed off(for now anyway)with questions about Ally and I'm glad because I do not want to go there.I am still going to take a trip to Scotland and may stay in Europe for a while but I don't want to stop my counselling sessions yet as I see thing far clearly now and realise I was been taken for a ride by my exf.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
7,459 Posts
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Block her. Block her "friends" too. Get rid of the lot of them. What a bunch of clowns. Good grief. If those are the kinds of people she hangs out with, that tells you a lot about her. That right there is enough to know you have made the right decision.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,456 Posts
Discussion Starter #388
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Tell her straight "why would I let me ex live in my house?" And it may help her seeing the word "ex" on the screen, to make it more cemented that your done
That is a great idea,thank you.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
7,459 Posts
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Except that if you have blocked her and all her crazy friends you will not be able to text her and you won't ever hear from her again or have to deal with her antics.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,456 Posts
Discussion Starter #390
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Except that if you have blocked her and all her crazy friends you will not be able to text her and you won't ever hear from her again or have to deal with her antics.
This forum is full of good advice.Unfortunately a lot of it is contradictory.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
126 Posts
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

This forum is full of good advice.Unfortunately a lot of it is contradictory.


You need to pick and choose what is relevant to your specific situation. Some people can completely block and delete, then move on in the blink of an eye. Others look at the lost investment (5 years in your case) and can't quite switch off the feelings as easily. Both aren't wrong. It's just different personalities deal in different ways.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
684 Posts
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

This forum is full of good advice.Unfortunately a lot of it is contradictory.
Which is to be expected when you request feedback from a large number of individuals who respond based on their own personal experiences.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
7,459 Posts
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

This forum is full of good advice.Unfortunately a lot of it is contradictory.
True.
If you want to go no contact, blocking her would certainly help, but you keep engaging her. If you don't engage her in the first place, you won't have to answer her. Consider what it is that you want. Do you want no contact or do you want to keep dragging this along?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,456 Posts
Discussion Starter #395
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

True.
If you want to go no contact, blocking her would certainly help, but you keep engaging her. If you don't engage her in the first place, you won't have to answer her. Consider what it is that you want. Do you want no contact or do you want to keep dragging this along?
I haven't spoken to her in over a week.It was her mother who rung me about her moving in but I'd say it was at my exf's suggestion.I have tried every way I know to get it clear to her it is over but she keeps texting me on other peoples phones.At this stage I have considered using an answering service for my current number and buying a new phone just for work colleagues.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
684 Posts
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

I haven't spoken to her in over a week.It was her mother who rung me about her moving in but I'd say it was at my exf's suggestion.I have tried every way I know to get it clear to her it is over but she keeps texting me on other peoples phones.At this stage I have considered using an answering service for my current number and buying a new phone just for work colleagues.
At this stage consider blocking her mother and anyone else whose phone she uses to get in touch with you.

I know you're reading this and wondering why it never occurred to you to take this very simple step.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,456 Posts
Discussion Starter #397
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

At this stage consider blocking her mother and anyone else whose phone she uses to get in touch with you.

I know you're reading this and wondering why it never occurred to you to take this very simple step.
I can't block a number until I get a call or text from it.Thats the point I'm making.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
19,436 Posts
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Back when ypiu and her had that conversation and she asked you if you had ever cheated on her, she may have well been jealous of Allison.

My take is that she was transferring guilt. Bet you a haggis she screwed around on you at some point.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,456 Posts
Discussion Starter #399 (Edited)
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Back when ypiu and her had that conversation and she asked you if you had ever cheated on her, she may have well been jealous of Allison.

My take is that she was transferring guilt. Bet you a haggis she screwed around on you at some point.
At this stage I don’t care
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
7,459 Posts
Re: Fiancées tattoo.

I haven't spoken to her in over a week.It was her mother who rung me about her moving in but I'd say it was at my exf's suggestion.I have tried every way I know to get it clear to her it is over but she keeps texting me on other peoples phones.At this stage I have considered using an answering service for my current number and buying a new phone just for work colleagues.
That's harassment. I'm sorry she's turned out to be such a psycho.

I'm sorry, but it looks like you are right and you'll have to get a new number.
 
381 - 400 of 1202 Posts
Top