My wife and I have been married for seven years and over the course of our relationship I have kept something from her: I have a fetish for women that smoke. We are both non-smokers and she is very anti-smoking and has nagged her father to quit for years.
I hate that I have a fetish and have no idea where it comes from, but it's there. I have no desire for my wife to become a smoker (she smoked socially before we were together) but I can't escape a desire to see her smoke as a part of foreplay.
That said, I know it is insanely unhealthy and selfish of me. Also, I'm not sure how she would react. The closest I have gotten is telling that I want to see her act like a "bad girl" and go to a bar and see her act "naughty" (which I have described as including her smoking). She has played along with it but we have never taken the next step. I have also never flat out told her that the kink is for smoking.
Its insanely gross, but it is what it is. I have indulged the fetish online (there is an extensive online community for this fetish) but 99% of the stuff out there is flat out disgusting. I'm not into porn and there are some sick folks.
I have thought about the option of having her indulge this fetish without smoking (prop/unlit) cigarettes but, if I was her, upon hearing this, I would think that its insane. Also, I know one of the rules in kink is that the activity needs to be "safe". Smoking clearly is not.
So do I continue to keep this in the shadows or do I come out to her with it? Even without it being in the open our sex lives our generally healthy. Any advice?
I hate that I have a fetish and have no idea where it comes from, but it's there. I have no desire for my wife to become a smoker (she smoked socially before we were together) but I can't escape a desire to see her smoke as a part of foreplay.
That said, I know it is insanely unhealthy and selfish of me. Also, I'm not sure how she would react. The closest I have gotten is telling that I want to see her act like a "bad girl" and go to a bar and see her act "naughty" (which I have described as including her smoking). She has played along with it but we have never taken the next step. I have also never flat out told her that the kink is for smoking.
Its insanely gross, but it is what it is. I have indulged the fetish online (there is an extensive online community for this fetish) but 99% of the stuff out there is flat out disgusting. I'm not into porn and there are some sick folks.
I have thought about the option of having her indulge this fetish without smoking (prop/unlit) cigarettes but, if I was her, upon hearing this, I would think that its insane. Also, I know one of the rules in kink is that the activity needs to be "safe". Smoking clearly is not.
So do I continue to keep this in the shadows or do I come out to her with it? Even without it being in the open our sex lives our generally healthy. Any advice?