I can really relate to you. my confidence took a plunge! i am not the same person i was prior to meeting my H. Prior to my H I dated a lot, and got a lot of positive feedback to boost my esteem. my H, on the other hand, does not boost my esteem. he brings it down. its been dark days for my self-esteem the last few years.What should I do about getting my self confidence back?
so, i feel for you. i compare myself to other girls constantly now. i walk around constantly thinking, 'i bet my H would rather be with her.'
im in the process of trying to shut off those automatic thoughts. its really hard.... im drumming my fingers on the keypad trying to think of what im doing to stop those thoughts....keeping my mind busy is the first thing that comes to mind. im enrolled in school and that helps. im starting to make some friends which helps.
when i left my home to be with my H, i left my source of pride. i left my job. i had a good job that i felt really good about myself. ive had a few jobs since but have not found that again. I think when you have something that you feel good about, doing something that you know contributes positively to your environment and really helps people, your esteem radiates. I guess in a way i feel my esteem is suffering, not b/c of my H (although that didnt help), but because i dont contribute in a way that helps me feel good about myself. i think that's what i have to find. As i find that i think the thoughts about other girls will fade to triviality.
It also helps that i dont give a [email protected]@ if my H wants me anymore. but, thats sort of a pseudo-pride to help me breach all these years off ridiculousness.