Yep, no way to live. Spouses come first over kids, friends and hobbies. Have you talked to our H that you feel like second fiddle?
^^This.
Am I completely out of line?
No, you're not. Not at all. A married man (or woman) has no business going out drinking on the regular, until god knows when, leaving their spouse home alone to do it all. That is just not on. It's one thing to catch up with mates and do guy stuff every now and then, hell, even go away with the boys for the weekend sometimes. Not all the time though, and not at the expense of their spouse who never gets time for herself or a break from day to day life.
I don’t really have much to add except to say this sounds like us but in reverse. I’m the one who always feels like I come second to what she wants, her friends and her other priorities. The country song “Do I” by Luke Bryan comes to mind. I often feel lonely and neglected and very low on her list of priorities. I wish she pay half the attention to me that she does to her iPhone or hanging out with her friends. She’s txt with her friends all day and read their messages immediately, if I send her something she may never read it and usually won’t respond. So yeah, I can relate to this.
This is so sad, I know we're only getting one side of it, but she's taking you for granted. I have friends who are all about their kids, while their poor husband could be dead on the couch for a week and they wouldn't notice - unless one of the kids needed something. I personally think that's terrible.
