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what should I do?
I suggest counseling. Not about this particular incident. This is just a symptom of what is wrong in your marriage. Neither of you trust each other, and you both carry grudges. Why?

Maybe (guessing) you resent the fact you've carried her financially. And maybe, you talking about sex with a female outside of the marriage did some permanent damage (and you being gone a lot for work perhaps creates resentment on her end). I don't know, but I'd start by addressing the WHY. Why is there no trust. Why is there resentment. Work that out with a therapist. Don't get into the blame game yet about accounts, chatting, texting, etc. If you trusted each other and resolved the resentment issues, the rest would probably go away.
 
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