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I can get around the use of this word with synonyms and make post after post without inspiring hostile flames. I am not going to do that anymore, I am going to write a post and lobby for it to be a sticky here in your lounge.

The "PC coding for this type woman in my youth was": She wears the pants in the family.

Everyone freely used that expression and when it was used, everyone knew what it meant. I never heard an argument from the men present when those comments were made. Folks would nod - yes that is true - she DOES wear the pants in the family.

With no further ado: The only societies which lack an abundance of alpha females are those inherently hostile to women - think religious fanatics.

All real meritocracies are home to a rapidly growing number of them. Stop fighting a term that applies every much to you as it does to the men.

A quick informal list of alpha females I know:
- Simply Amorous
- Catherine
- Turnera
- Trenton
- Long list of others on this board
- Two of my Aunts
- Two sisters
- Mrs. MEM - AKA The Good Wife
- Many executives I have worked with

Alpha means leader - means powerful - it doesn't mean: Man who abuses his power over women.

And one more thing. Alpha females are hot. And those that mix a lot of alpha and beta together make great spouses and co-parents.
 

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Relationships are not struggles for power and they don't need leaders they need partners with equal respect and responsibility for said relationship.
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M,
If you think you can change the basic nature of all those alpha females feel free to give it your best shot.


Relationships are not struggles for power and they don't need leaders they need partners with equal respect and responsibility for said relationship.
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It has nothing to do with changing anything, or anyone. Regardless of personality an who a natural leader it takes two people to make a relationship, and it would be very unfulfilling otherwise.
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Information from Wikipedia

Alpha

In social animals, the alpha is the individual in the community with the highest rank. Male or female individuals or both can be alphas, depending on their species. Where one male and one female fulfill this role, they are referred to as the alpha pair. Other animals in the same social group may exhibit deference or other symbolic signs of respect particular to their species towards the alpha or alphas.
In hierarchal social animals, alphas usually gain preferential access to food and other desirable items or activities, though the extent of this social effect varies widely by species. Male and/or female alphas may gain preferential access to sex or mates, and in some species only alphas or an alpha pair is permitted to reproduce.
Alphas may achieve their status by means of superior physical prowess and/or through social efforts and building alliances within the group.[1]
The position of alpha also changes in some species, usually through a physical fight between a dominate and subordinate animal. Such fights may or may not be to the death, with relevant behavior varying between circumstance and species.


Beta and Omega

Social animals in a hierarchic community have are assigned ranks for the purpose of scientific study. Six of these ranks have attracted special attention in ethology and been given applicable names: alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon, and omega.[citation needed]
Beta animals often act as second-in-command to the reigning alpha or alphas and will act as new alpha animals if an alpha dies. In some species of birds, males pair up in twos when courting, the beta male aiding the alpha male. The beta male does not generally get to mate with the female birds, but if the alpha dies, he takes over the alpha's females, becoming the new alpha.[citation needed] It has been found that the social context of the animals has a significant impact on courtship behaviour and the overall reproductive success of that animal.[2]
Omega (usually rendered ω) is an antonym used to refer to the lowest caste of the hierarchical society. Omega animals are subordinate to all others in the community, and are expected by others in the group to remain submissive to everyone. Omega animals may be also be used as communal scapegoats or outlets for frustration, or given the lowest priority when distributing food.
 

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My wife is a full time working professional and very alpha by nature.

However, Ive had multiple discussions with her about how its important that one of us have FINAL decision making authority on occasional issues that cant be resolved....she agrees that it is me....however, in practice its hard to get her to give in on certain issues...but I have pulled it off.

When you have two alphas in a relationship.....(that must happen in gay relationships too?)...its tough.

I think it might be nice if i had a beta wife.....but maybe it would be boring?

Or maybe it would be GREAT!
 

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Alpha pairs runs the risk of a sh-tload of problems including toxic dynamics and power struggles, my STBX and I's relationship was testament to that

If healthy dynamics are established and the foundations of the marriage is rock solid then sure, I can see it working, but that takes two, and ALOT of work. Something I don't think we will ever live to experience with each other no more.
 

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I'm a toned down alpha female. Takes a bit of self discipline and a sincere desire to change but it can be done. Helps that I love my husband enough to turn over the reigns to him. I abused my power and it cost me. I won't do that anymore. My marriage is too important for that. I've listened and learned from most of the men here. I can be strong and soft at the same time. It truly is all about balance.
 

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Sad... I've always wanted alpha females, someone I can walk side by side you know... but I never expected so much work to deal with them!!!

:(
Well then again, I've only married one so far, but meh, think one is enough
 

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I have no idea what it might be like to be loved by a beta female. Ive only had the one wife for 23 years and 2 alpha f*&^buddy girlfriends before that who were not even exclusive to me.

I can only imagine in might be nice to have some woman want to rub my feet, give me a back massage, or wash my back without being asked...bring me coffee in bed, comfort me, always think I had all the answers without constant questioning and alternate opinions....lol....maybe even offer certain adult acts JUST for the purpose of pleasing me.....

I think alpha woman in bed is one who is interested in pleasing herself and expecting me to please her.....as much as she has improved sexually in her mid 40's..I still dont get the sense that she actually gets off on the idea of giving me pleasure...although Im not sure....

But she is perfectly happy to have me bust my hands, ass, balls, mouth in giving her pleasure....

Me wifey can be very feminine occasionally when she wants to be, usually she does it as a special treat for me during the deed....says something like "I love being YOUR wife..."...or "I'm surrendering to you.." something nice and more submissive like that....

For her that is a very non-alpha "I give up the power to you" statement.....like she is telling me she BELONGS to me.

Do beta women do that as a matter of course?

To get those kind of words out of an alpha woman who runs a business with 70 employees and is called a dragon lady at work....

Hey I must be pretty good!
 

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I'm super alpha at work. I get shet done and I run committees and professional developments and I've only been there 3 months ;)

I was alpha when I was single. But...eh...I like just doing what I do and H does what he does. I don't want to have all the power or be all in charge. We just do what needs to be done.

Like Bill Cosby said, "I saw the boss' job, and I didn't WANT it."
 

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I can get around the use of this word with synonyms and make post after post without inspiring hostile flames. I am not going to do that anymore, I am going to write a post and lobby for it to be a sticky here in your lounge.

The "PC coding for this type woman in my youth was": She wears the pants in the family.

Everyone freely used that expression and when it was used, everyone knew what it meant. I never heard an argument from the men present when those comments were made. Folks would nod - yes that is true - she DOES wear the pants in the family.

With no further ado: The only societies which lack an abundance of alpha females are those inherently hostile to women - think religious fanatics.

All real meritocracies are home to a rapidly growing number of them. Stop fighting a term that applies every much to you as it does to the men.

A quick informal list of alpha females I know:
- Simply Amorous
- Catherine
- Turnera
- Trenton
- Long list of others on this board
- Two of my Aunts
- Two sisters
- Mrs. MEM - AKA The Good Wife
- Many executives I have worked with

Alpha means leader - means powerful - it doesn't mean: Man who abuses his power over women.

And one more thing. Alpha females are hot. And those that mix a lot of alpha and beta together make great spouses and co-parents.
:iagree:

Also Alpha females do not run in a pack,

THEY LEAD THE PACK.
They are very easily recognizable. Men step aside and let them lead. You cannot fight an Alpha female. Alpha females don't get into cat fights , they have no time for that.
When they speak, it's with a certain amount of authority, they don't look for validation.
They choose their battles carefully , and when they strike its deadly.
They are fiercely loyal to their family.
One of the most important trait they have in common with their male contemporaries respect.

Because they respect themselves, they NEVER take disrespect.

PS, Simply Amorous and Trenton,
DEFINITELY ALPHA FEMALES!
 

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I'm a toned down alpha female. Takes a bit of self discipline and a sincere desire to change but it can be done. Helps that I love my husband enough to turn over the reigns to him. I abused my power and it cost me. I won't do that anymore. My marriage is too important for that. I've listened and learned from most of the men here. I can be strong and soft at the same time. It truly is all about balance.
Good that you can recognize your strengths , and know exactly how and when to use it.:smthumbup:
 

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Discussion Starter #14
GP,
Thank you.

Good citation.


Information from Wikipedia

Alpha

In social animals, the alpha is the individual in the community with the highest rank. Male or female individuals or both can be alphas, depending on their species. Where one male and one female fulfill this role, they are referred to as the alpha pair. Other animals in the same social group may exhibit deference or other symbolic signs of respect particular to their species towards the alpha or alphas.
In hierarchal social animals, alphas usually gain preferential access to food and other desirable items or activities, though the extent of this social effect varies widely by species. Male and/or female alphas may gain preferential access to sex or mates, and in some species only alphas or an alpha pair is permitted to reproduce.
Alphas may achieve their status by means of superior physical prowess and/or through social efforts and building alliances within the group.[1]
The position of alpha also changes in some species, usually through a physical fight between a dominate and subordinate animal. Such fights may or may not be to the death, with relevant behavior varying between circumstance and species.


Beta and Omega

Social animals in a hierarchic community have are assigned ranks for the purpose of scientific study. Six of these ranks have attracted special attention in ethology and been given applicable names: alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon, and omega.[citation needed]
Beta animals often act as second-in-command to the reigning alpha or alphas and will act as new alpha animals if an alpha dies. In some species of birds, males pair up in twos when courting, the beta male aiding the alpha male. The beta male does not generally get to mate with the female birds, but if the alpha dies, he takes over the alpha's females, becoming the new alpha.[citation needed] It has been found that the social context of the animals has a significant impact on courtship behaviour and the overall reproductive success of that animal.[2]
Omega (usually rendered ω) is an antonym used to refer to the lowest caste of the hierarchical society. Omega animals are subordinate to all others in the community, and are expected by others in the group to remain submissive to everyone. Omega animals may be also be used as communal scapegoats or outlets for frustration, or given the lowest priority when distributing food.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
TG,
You definitely belong on my list.


I'm super alpha at work. I get shet done and I run committees and professional developments and I've only been there 3 months ;)

I was alpha when I was single. But...eh...I like just doing what I do and H does what he does. I don't want to have all the power or be all in charge. We just do what needs to be done.

Like Bill Cosby said, "I saw the boss' job, and I didn't WANT it."
 

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Discussion Starter #16
M,
Balance is important. Self awareness is very important as you have learned. Mrs. MEM often inflicts a LOT of pain when she is not getting her way.

We recently had a series of conversations about that. We are both making a good faith effort to rebalance the marriage. It is challenging - mother nature is quite powerful and traits are etched deep.



I'm a toned down alpha female. Takes a bit of self discipline and a sincere desire to change but it can be done. Helps that I love my husband enough to turn over the reigns to him. I abused my power and it cost me. I won't do that anymore. My marriage is too important for that. I've listened and learned from most of the men here. I can be strong and soft at the same time. It truly is all about balance.
 

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MEM11363 said: A quick informal list of alpha females I know:

- Simply Amorous
- Catherine
- Turnera
- Trenton
- Long list of others on this board
- Two of my Aunts
- Two sisters
- Mrs. MEM - AKA The Good Wife
- Many executives I have worked with
I had to laugh seeing my persona here... does it show that much ! I am just a simple SAHM... But yeah... the reference to "wearing the pants"... Many times over the years.... even the guys at my husbands workplace run with that one... he just laughs & jokes right along with them ~ adding to their making more jokes about it, strap ons, whips & all...
... I think they envision me like this -given how he lets them go on.....


But ya know... He would have never stayed with me or wanted me had he not experienced my very sensitive side...this is where his
connected with mine - that vulnerability before him.

My temperament is conflicted... I am high spirited on both ends of this...He will often say - he will take the GOOD with the BAD ...cause otherwise it just wouldn't be ME. Ya know... I've teared up over him saying that to me, cause honestly - I have my moments. Don't we all? I do go out of my way to make up for it though.... this helps.

I can be very challenging mentally ~ Depending. I would not fare well with a man like myself ~ When I say my husband can handle me, I mean that. He does it with open arms & so often getting me to laugh at myself .


Michie said: Regardless of personality an who a natural leader it takes two people to make a relationship, and it would be very unfulfilling otherwise.
I so agree with this ! I would never be happy if my husband was suffering inside ~ it would suck the life out of me...(and it should )...if this was my mentality in marriage....
...we would have never lasted.

A team effort ~ how very important ~ both of us are self aware for the most part...his weaknesses just happen to be my natural strengths... and my weaknesses happen to be his natural strengths...We bear with one another in this walk hand in hand .

MEM11363 said: Balance is important. Self awareness is very important as you have learned. Mrs. MEM often inflicts a LOT of pain when she is not getting her way.

We recently had a series of conversations about that. We are both making a good faith effort to rebalance the marriage. It is challenging - mother nature is quite powerful and traits are etched deep.
This self awareness thing is HUGE ...for every one of us... Self-Awareness and Personal Development

To perfect your management skills, the best place to start is self-awareness. Self-awareness means knowing your values, personality, needs, habits, emotions, strengths, weaknesses, etc.

With a sense of who you are and a vision of the person you want to become, a plan for professional or personal development can be created. Moreover, self-awareness allows you to motivate yourself and manage your stress better, helps you with your intuitive decision making, and helps you to lead and motivate others more effectively. Self-awareness is very useful.

 

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I have no idea what it might be like to be loved by a beta female. Ive only had the one wife for 23 years and 2 alpha f*&^buddy girlfriends before that who were not even exclusive to me.

I can only imagine in might be nice to have some woman want to rub my feet, give me a back massage, or wash my back without being asked...bring me coffee in bed, comfort me, always think I had all the answers without constant questioning and alternate opinions....lol....maybe even offer certain adult acts JUST for the purpose of pleasing me.....

I think alpha woman in bed is one who is interested in pleasing herself and expecting me to please her.....as much as she has improved sexually in her mid 40's..I still dont get the sense that she actually gets off on the idea of giving me pleasure...although Im not sure....

But she is perfectly happy to have me bust my hands, ass, balls, mouth in giving her pleasure....

Me wifey can be very feminine occasionally when she wants to be, usually she does it as a special treat for me during the deed....says something like "I love being YOUR wife..."...or "I'm surrendering to you.." something nice and more submissive like that....

For her that is a very non-alpha "I give up the power to you" statement.....like she is telling me she BELONGS to me.

Do beta women do that as a matter of course?

To get those kind of words out of an alpha woman who runs a business with 70 employees and is called a dragon lady at work....

Hey I must be pretty good!
That's not an alpha woman. That's a selfish woman.

I'm in charge at work. I'm in charge with my kids. My husband and I have different spheres of influence at home, no-one's really in charge. No-one routinely has the final say. We both have veto power though.
 

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Is there a gender neutral term for a person who simply does not give a sh!t about social hierarchy of wolves?...Forget that, I just realized I don't give a sh!t.
 

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Is there a gender neutral term for a person who simply does not give a sh!t about social hierarchy of wolves?...Forget that, I just realized I don't give a sh!t.
Yup!
It's called BjorneFree !:D
 
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