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What about somebody like me who is divorcing because her husband had an affair? He says our divorce is actually my fault because I decided I couldn’t work on reconciliation anymore while he is still willing to try. It’s my fault that we are divorcing because I decided I can’t trust him and that I don’t want to feel like second fiddle and those feelings are my fault.
Nope. IMO marriage is for two. An affair ends the marriage. It’s not a game of golf where you get a mulligan or do over.
Repeated infidelity is not uncommon.
Let them go. Reconciliations happen but successful ones are rare from what I’ve seen.
 

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I became totally indifferent to my ex, her new husband has plenty of money, treats my kids good, has never given me any trouble.
I am extremely lucky he took her in.
Over the weekend my youngest told me my 17 yr old daughter had her bf over at their stepdads house and when the guy found out her bf was still there at midnight, he told the kid to “get the hell out”. If only he knew I’d like to give him a high five. That’s the kind of nonsense my ex allows.
She was awful, just a person of low character. Wanted an easy life. She has it. From what my kids say, she still isn’t happy.
 

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Exes always say this kind of crap. I think it's their way of justifying things in their head when they take the low road and screw you over. That, and we are all the hero in our own story. Very few people actually admit they were the bad guy in their previous relationship. My ex wife said some nasty things to and about me on the way out and her doing so motivated me to do better. The last serious relationship I was in, my ex was recently badmouthing me to mutual friends, but then she asked one of those friends if they thought I would ever talk to her again. The point is, people say all kinds of crap and it's mostly meaningless other than it being a sign you need to get away from them.
 

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I became totally indifferent to my ex, her new husband has plenty of money, treats my kids good, has never given me any trouble.
I am extremely lucky he took her in.
Over the weekend my youngest told me my 17 yr old daughter had her bf over at their stepdads house and when the guy found out her bf was still there at midnight, he told the kid to “get the hell out”. If only he knew I’d like to give him a high five. That’s the kind of nonsense my ex allows.
She was awful, just a person of low character. Wanted an easy life. She has it. From what my kids say, she still isn’t happy.
Those types never are.
 

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Discussion Starter · #67 ·
I became totally indifferent to my ex, her new husband has plenty of money, treats my kids good, has never given me any trouble.
I am extremely lucky he took her in.
Over the weekend my youngest told me my 17 yr old daughter had her bf over at their stepdads house and when the guy found out her bf was still there at midnight, he told the kid to “get the hell out”. If only he knew I’d like to give him a high five. That’s the kind of nonsense my ex allows.
She was awful, just a person of low character. Wanted an easy life. She has it. From what my kids say, she still isn’t happy.
People like her will never be happy. They keep thinking they are entitled to even more.
 

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Yes I’m over it. It was a two year battle with a trial that lasted 12 days. Those are my responses now, in my head. Looking back, I didn’t respond directly to that garbage when it was said to me. Those responses are how I feel now after two years of freedom.
People like her will never be happy. They keep thinking they are entitled to even more.
Kindly, perhaps it's time to move on. This is having too much space in your head after two years of freedom.
We all choose our own path. None of us are living outside of pain or disappointment with the twists and turns of life.
Wishing people ill and living in bitterness is a choice.
 

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Discussion Starter · #70 ·
Kindly, perhaps it's time to move on. This is having too much space in your head after two years of freedom.
We all choose our own path. None of us are living outside of pain or disappointment with the twists and turns of life.
Wishing people ill and living in bitterness is a choice.
I was referring to @Evinrude58 ex, not mine.
 

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For those divorced or separated, any garbage that sticks in your mind uttered by your EX as parting, or near parting words? I have three:

1) I feel sorry for you because you’re going to just be an “every other weekend dad”. I have 50/50

2) you will never find another wife like me. I was the best thing that ever happened to you. I hope to never find another person like you. Thankfully, so far, I haven’t.

3) your stupid marriage sites broke us up. Nope, my stupid marriage sites WOKE me up.
Number 2 is interesting. Didn't she cheat? Did she really think you couldn't do better than that?
 

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That’s going to take some explaining for the next guy ☹
Get this. One of my best friends was soooo certain that her boyfriend of 3 years was the love of her life, was perfect in all ways, that they were destined to be together forever, twin flames, "the one", etc, that she made the colossal mistake of getting a tattoo directly above her pubic area that says: Property of "his first and last name"!

I never cared for this guy. He seemed shady and I got player vibes from him. We, her friends, tried in vain to talk her out of it. I pleaded with her not to go through with it (she was surprisng him for his bday). She would get defensive that we didn't support her relationship. He was the only man who would ever see it for the rest of her life, and any concerns we voiced was a mute point. So, she had it done.

I'm sure you can see where this is going, lol? Less than a year later she caught him in bed with another woman. He'd been "dating" her. She knew about my friend and didn't care. She wanted her man. She got him. Down the bottom of that rabbit hole, turned out he'd been cheating on her their entire relatioship with multiple women and was a serial cheater.

He's long gone. But that tattoo isn't. And it's been an issue for every man she's been in a relationship with since. She's single atm, and finally planning on getting it covered. My friend doesn't even have the excuse of being young and dumb when she did this. She was in her 30's ffs!
 

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Discussion Starter · #78 ·
Get this. One of my best friends was soooo certain that her boyfriend of 3 years was the love of her life, was perfect in all ways, that they were destined to be together forever, twin flames, "the one", etc, that she made the colossal mistake of getting a tattoo directly above her pubic area that says: Property of "his first and last name"!

I never cared for this guy. He seemed shady and I got player vibes from him. We, her friends, tried in vain to talk her out of it. I pleaded with her not to go through with it (she was surprisng him for his bday). She would get defensive that we didn't support her relationship. He was the only man who would ever see it for the rest of her life, and any concerns we voiced was a mute point. So, she had it done.

I'm sure you can see where this is going, lol? Less than a year later she caught him in bed with another woman. He'd been "dating" her. She knew about my friend and didn't care. She wanted her man. She got him. Down the bottom of that rabbit hole, turned out he'd been cheating on her their entire relatioship with multiple women and was a serial cheater.

He's long gone. But that tattoo isn't. And it's been an issue for every man she's been in a relationship with since. She's single atm, and finally planning on getting it covered. My friend doesn't even have the excuse of being young and dumb when she did this. She was in her 30's ffs!
She has no one to blame but herself. Yeah, if I saw that, there wouldn’t be another encounter with her for me.
 

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So for 7 days she thought you were full of sh$t
and all talk. Nice!
She'd been to rehab twice and promised she wouldn't drink. Lasted 4 days the last time. I reminded her of her promise. And, that's when she asked what I was going to do. Part challenge. Part FU. Part what's going to be different this time. What was different is that I'd finally had enough. She hadn't hit rock bottom, but I sure as hell wasn't going to make the trip with her. First stop, attorney. Second stop CPA. Third stop, courthouse. I gave her the papers myself.
 

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Get this. One of my best friends was soooo certain that her boyfriend of 3 years was the love of her life, was perfect in all ways, that they were destined to be together forever, twin flames, "the one", etc, that she made the colossal mistake of getting a tattoo directly above her pubic area that says: Property of "his first and last name"!

I never cared for this guy. He seemed shady and I got player vibes from him. We, her friends, tried in vain to talk her out of it. I pleaded with her not to go through with it (she was surprisng him for his bday). She would get defensive that we didn't support her relationship. He was the only man who would ever see it for the rest of her life, and any concerns we voiced was a mute point. So, she had it done.

I'm sure you can see where this is going, lol? Less than a year later she caught him in bed with another woman. He'd been "dating" her. She knew about my friend and didn't care. She wanted her man. She got him. Down the bottom of that rabbit hole, turned out he'd been cheating on her their entire relatioship with multiple women and was a serial cheater.

He's long gone. But that tattoo isn't. And it's been an issue for every man she's been in a relationship with since. She's single atm, and finally planning on getting it covered. My friend doesn't even have the excuse of being young and dumb when she did this. She was in her 30's ffs!
Yeah, they say it’s a curse to get your lover’s name tattooed on you. I’m not super into tattoos. I have a few simple small black line ones. My husband has a few as well. Here’s how I made my stupid mistake: About 3 months into our marriage we had spent practically the whole day in bed together one Saturday. There was no drinking but I felt just completely drunk in love with him. We decided to go for a ride on his motorcycle. He has 2 vintage motorcycles. I kept trying to give him a handjob when he was driving. I was just totally goo goo eyed. We stopped somewhere for a bite to eat and there was a tattoo parlor across the street. I was feeling very goofy at this point, as if I’d drank a whole bottle of liquor even though I’d hadn’t drank a drop. I suggested we go over there and see if they’d take us as walk-ins and get tattoos when we were done eating. He said “ok, sounds like a great idea to me too!” Sure enough there were no other customers there when we showed up. I went first and surprised him when I came out from behind a black curtain with his name in pretty little script scrawled on one of my butt cheeks. He got my name on his forearm. I didn’t tell anyone about it but it eventually revealed itself to friends at a pool party. So scandalous and so unlike me. Their reactions were priceless. I was in my 20s and normally not that stupid but what can I say? Despite what he’s done to me, I’m not quite ready to remove it or cover it up. I know I should but I’m just not quite ready.
 
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