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Phase 1(year1):Before the baby

We were 19(me) and 18(her) when we met. We clicked, two peas in a pod. We enjoyed every moment together, and couldn't get enough of each other. She had anger problems, but normally I could calmly talk her down and bring her to her senses.

Phase 2(year 2): After the baby

After the baby was born, serious fighting ensued. We had a hard time dealing with the stress. I was working 40+ hours a week with completely random shifts and call ins, and she was a housewife. Most of my family would confer, it was her job to take care of the baby. That's ok though, because I didn't mind feeding her and consoling her at 2 and 4 AM when I had to be up at 7, anything for my wife, right?

Three months in we had been in several physical confrontations with each other. Usually her swinging at me first and me holding her down and squeezing her arms as hard as I could. The worst time, though, she smashed my computer and ****ed my face up, badly. We are still awaiting a court date, actually.

I attempted suicide. I have quite a bad history of depression, I can't handle heavy stress, and her yelling and nagging usually sent me in a downward spiral. Immediately after the attempt I moved in with my brother and split it off with her, she then moved to her hometown in Iowa.....

After a few months we decided that we missed each other and that we needed to be back together. We talked on the phone every night, she seemed so different, grown up and sweet as could be.....

So I dropped everything and left my family, friends, and cozy southern, warm climate to be with her and our baby. The baby is a joy, I love every moment with her. Good thing, since I'm now her primary caretaker.

Everything she said on the phone was a lie or twisted truth. The sweetness lasted a day, and then she started attaching her strings to me...She's extremely controlling, she never used to be though. When I try to talk about our problems, she starts yelling and claims that I'm instigating a fight. When she tries to talk about our problems and I don't say much, she calls it sadistic, as though I'm trying to harm her.

She has loads of male friends, she doesn't see them as far as I know, just on the internet and in her phone contacts. I know, for a fact, that she's been telling them lies about how horrible I am... She tells everyone how horrible I am, no matter what I try to do for her. She even tried to talk to our sister in law that way while I was hanging out with our sister in law, she understood that it was a load of bull.

Her family says she has borderline personality disorder....
Well, I have depression issues.....

But it's easier to love a sad dog than a RABID one, isn't it...?

I don't think I love her anymore..But I can't leave my baby, I can never leave my baby...The time I spent without her was intensely sad to me.

I'm stuck here...Even if I got custody, I couldn't afford to care for her. Even if I decided to live without her, I'd have to live at my moms until she's 18, because of child support.

I want this to work, but she breaks my heart more every day...

I don't know what to do, I've tried complete submission, it makes her mad. I'm considering making a butt load of female friends online and giving them my phone number, but won't that make things worse?

This is just a nightmare...
 

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Why havent you done any counselling. Its hard to give advice to just you. I could advise you what to do but it wont go down well on here. How does she treat the baby, is she violent to her as well. Your mom seems to be involved what does she say. The real question is does your wife want to stay married to you.
 

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OK I know you're hurting but you need to get yourself together if you want to be good father for this baby. The only way this to happen is that you break this toxic relationship off and start thinking about your kid. It looks like you and you wife couldn't be together without killing each other, so you better be apart.
Best Wishes!
 
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