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facebook involvement

4776 Views 43 Replies 36 Participants Last post by  here2learn
Informal poll:

For either the WS or the BS - how much did FB (or other social media) play into the devlopment of an A?

My WW reconnected with one of her HS boyfriends via FB and it developed into some kind of A. Reading through these posts, it seems that FB has opened the gates to infidelity. Before, the past was the past. Now the past can IM you.
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None, really. Both mine and my husband's began on World of Warcraft and moved to text/email. Facebook was just for playing Farmville, Cityville, etc. We were all friends on there, but really, it was WoW and texting.
My fiancé met his EA through meetup, just like he met me and also through the same meetup group. They dated before he met me. And then she resurfaced.

If I had been watching his FB wall at the time, it would have been clear to me that someone else was taking up his time.

The stats are: over the 18 months that they were FB friends, she signed onto his wall 15 times. 8 of those times during the 3 months that he was seeing her. And of those 8, 3 of those postings were during the week before I returned to London after visiting my family for a month. I know that she knew when I was returning because I have the text messages between them. Only once before those 3 months and the rest afterwards.

I pointed this out to my fiancé how she felt the need to comment on his article sharing and always relate it to her profession as a social worker. Then he remarked, well, some of those articles were actually about social work........he had just dug himself into a deeper.

I would advise anyone who starts to date someone to FB that person. They can learn a lot about that person very quickly.
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MH met the OW on FB, she was a friend of ours and ex co worker too. She told him that she had a crush on him for the longest time. Like when they hung out before we started to date. He told me he was infactated with her, always has been he said at DDay.
FB was the instrument my (now) ex-wife used to set up trysts. FB played a huge role.
Ex wife's former boyfriend contacted her on FB and they had a two year EA/PA that destroyed our marriage.
My wife's EA started with another damn social networking I made an account there and checked it out thoroughly...It's all about hooking up, mainly. If your spouse has an account very suspicious. In my opinion, ANY social network account is reason to be concerned. Married people DO NOT belong in these places any more than they should be alone in singles bars. Heck, all these sites are nothing more than electronic singles bars. They should all be taken down.
100% FB, my WW started communicating with old high school friends. That later developed into sexting over FB chat.

Would it have happened some other way in the absence of FB? Maybe, but FB does make it easy to stay in contact with people you have no business staying in contact with.
Facebook was the start of my problem with my wife when an ex-boyfriend of my wife's contacted my sister-in-law on Facebookand my sister-in-law connected them. I became aware of it by the time the second round of e-mails went between them. I confronted and prevented what could have been a disaster.

Long story short, I blocked his e-mail address at the ISP and Facebook's IP address at the router (for a whole year, the kids were pissed). One week of difficulty between us before we reached a conclusion, but the end result was no further contact.
FB was the start of my inappropriate relationship that turned into a EA/PA. OM was a friend of ours, he sent me a message on my birthday last year for the first time, then we started messaging back and forth over the next couple of months. He also commented on my posts/pictures/whatever all the time, to the point that my H would say that it's weird. I have to admit that I thought the attention was sweet. We took things off of FB before things got really inappropriate, but I would say that FB certainly provided a means to get things started. Looking back on it, I am so ashamed and hate myself for it.
No FB at all. OM can barely operate a computer (a toaster is about his technological limit) and my ww doesn't have any friends.
Thats why some have inserted another "F" word in place of the "Face" word in Facebook to describe how that site has aided in the destruction of marriages/relationships!!! :mad:
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FB had a big part in my wife's A. From there it expanded to different chat programs ( google, skype, you name it she probably tried it).
The OM used fb to develop intimacy with my wife, and wear down her defences over several months. They eventually moved off fb mostly, but would use it to signal each other to go to goggle chat for example. Ironically, it was because my wife changed her fb password, didn't tell me, and evaded the browser password saving that prompted me to keylog the computer. So fb both facilitated and busted the affair in a way.
Our marriage counselor told us, if there is a devil Facebook is his best friend. Besides our own Fb problems, he had two other couples heading for divorce because of Fb induced infidelity.
I knew there was internet play. I don't know if it was fb. I thought it was icq and some gaming.

It is a shame that we have to blame our spouses infidelity and lack of self control on technology. I know it was not the internet. It was my ex and me. If we had communicated our wants and needs, if we knew what those needs were, this may never have happened. If it did anyway, we may, really I may, have been better prepared.
HUGE. Wouldn't have happened without Facebook. Facebook was how it started and the major way we communicated. The really ironic part - the only reason I ever opened a Facebook account was to see who my wife communicating with.
In my case, FB was not how my wife's affair started, but it certainly gave them every opportunity to communicate with each other every day for for a year and a half.

But ironically, had I not recovered almost 4000 of his FB messages to her, I would never have been able to discover their PA.

It still amazes me how many cheaters are caught that way and how stupid they are. In fact, I would love to see a poll on how BS's found out about their CS's affair. My guess would be texts, followed by FB, then e-mails.

Maybe I'll try to figure out how to do that poll on here, but what do you all think?
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