[Personal]

I have been on HRT for Low T since 37.

I'm not knocking this at all and am glad you have found it has done a lot for your relationship with your wife. So all power to you both.

That said, I don't think I would want to go down such a path for myself. If age and health took its toll on my sexual capability.

 

[Divinely Favored]

I'm not knocking this at all and am glad you have found it has done a lot for your relationship with your wife. So all power to you both.

That said, I don't think I would want to go down such a path for myself. If age and health took its toll on my sexual capability.

Guy being low t causes him to be imbalanced with higher estrogen levels. Causes cardiac issues in men. Gotta get the Test back up where it goes.

Low T is horrible. Tired all the time....come home from work and crash in recliner until wife woke me up to eat dinner. Eat shower and go to bed while she cleans up kitchen. Start dealing with symptoms of ED. Libido was gone. Not low...gone! Emotionally a zombie. Just numb toward everyone. I refuse to go back to that hell.

 

[Personal]

I refuse to go back to that hell.

I thought it was just a failing libido issue and nothing more, given all of that I can see why you have done that.

 

[DTO]

There really never is a good reason to cheat. That I agree. It just seems heartbreaking.

Agreed. But the problem is that is a values statement and opinions vary. I had a few offers to get some strange during my marriage, which surprised the hell out of me because I did zero to solicit or encourage these offers.

I didn't pursue any of them because I expected better out of myself, not because my wife deserved better. But someone else might have thought "my spouse has no problem denying me for long stretches of time, I'm going to get it if I can". And honestly I wouldn't blame them.

That's also the time I learned some women have a sixth sense when it comes to guys who aren't cared for at home. But that's a different subject.

 

[Mybabysgotit]

Where do you get that? I assume you're talking about alimony, so....

I live in FL and have been divorced here twice. I never asked for any alimony but even 15 years ago with my kids father (I'd been a sahm, which is what HE wanted) my lawyer told me judges were frowning on alimony.

They had long term alimony because a lot of people come here to retire and they don't want a scenario where the bread winner (many of the elderly wives didn't work in their generation) ditches the spouse and she becomes destitute and dependent on the state. Its not that common for one to actually get lifetime alimony.

The owner of the company I work for just went through it. We are close and he tells me everything...maybe too much lol. They hit him with lifetime alimony, he was married for 11 years. Judges frowning on alimony? Noooooooo, they give out lifetime alimony ALL DAY LONG...

 

[Livvie]

The owner of the company I work for just went through it. We are close and he tells me everything...maybe too much lol. They hit him with lifetime alimony, he was married for 11 years. Judges frowning on alimony? Noooooooo, they give out lifetime alimony ALL DAY LONG...

Lifetime alimony after an 11 year marriage? That's really rare. How old are the parties? Does it end when they are both of retirement age? What state?

I'm struggling to envision an 85 year old paying support.

 

[DTO]

Lifetime alimony after an 11 year marriage? That's really rare. How old are the parties? Does it end when they are both of retirement age? What state?

I'm struggling to envision an 85 year old paying support.

Hopefully she remarries.

 

[ABHale]

I think if proves a point that cheaters don’t really love the ones they betray.

It also shows that the marital circumstances are not the cause of the cheater’s cheating.

 

[ABHale]

Lifetime alimony after an 11 year marriage? That's really rare. How old are the parties? Does it end when they are both of retirement age? What state?

I'm struggling to envision an 85 year old paying support.

California is one of the states that have the life time support after 10 years. I think it is basically one year for every two until the tenth year.

 

[Mybabysgotit]

Lifetime alimony after an 11 year marriage? That's really rare. How old are the parties? Does it end when they are both of retirement age? What state?

I'm struggling to envision an 85 year old paying support.

Rare? in Florida? Happens all the time, in fact, its the norm here rather than the exception. It only ends if the wife gets remarried or death.

 

[MaiChi]

I have been reading mostly in the surviving infidelity forum but took a look in the sex in marriage forum. I was genuinely shocked by how many marriages are sexless. People saying they go months without sex. Some even years. I will preface this by saying as someone whose husband cheated, I wonder why some of these clearly tortured souls don’t cheat. My husband had a regular stream of sex. Normal ups and downs over the years...But never did he go longer than 2 weeks without physical intimacy. I knew very early on how much it meant to him. I always tried to satisfy him even when I was angry or hurt. To see the complete disregard that some people endure under the guise of a “good marriage” was eye opening. I’m not sure if I have a question or this is simply musings but the expression that so many people live lives of quiet desperation comes to mind...
The pain that resonates off the pages is palpable and on more than a few threads I thought if only these poor souls spouses could really see the pain they are causing the person they love and realize how insanely lucky they are that they are not being cheated on.

I have always thought sex must be part of a marriage, Just as well I happen to like a lot of it.
Unlike you I do not mix my body's needs with my mind's moods. If I am unhappy about something, I take it out on sex, and then I have a good night's sleep. Sex is a good workout. We also never ever discuss angry or hurt in the bedroom. That is for the living room. the bedroom is a refuge room for calm and comfort.

 

[Torninhalf]

I have always thought sex must be part of a marriage, Just as well I happen to like a lot of it.
Unlike you I do not mix my body's needs with my mind's moods. If I am unhappy about something, I take it out on sex, and then I have a good night's sleep. Sex is a good workout. We also never ever discuss angry or hurt in the bedroom. That is for the living room. the bedroom is a refuge room for calm and comfort.

Not sure what you mean with unlike you...

 

[Divinely Favored]

Not sure what you mean with unlike you...

Sounds like they're one that sex is not attached to emotional feelings. Some it just feels good to get off and there is not an emotional component that goes with it.

Like cheaters who say it was just sex! I did not love them. I believe people wired that way are the ones that can be poly, swing, etc. and less likely to destroy their marriage.

Unlike with my wife and me, we are both the type where emotion is involved with sex. We are violently monogamous. Either one of us is a one and done if the other cheats. Not gonna happen because of our self boundaries we place on opposite sex interactions.

 

[FloridaGuy1]

Sounds like they're one that sex is not attached to emotional feelings. Some it just feels good to get off and there is not an emotional component that goes with it.

Like cheaters who say it was just sex! I did not love them. I believe people wired that way are the ones that can be poly, swing, etc. and less likely to destroy their marriage.

Unlike with my wife and me, we are both the type where emotion is involved with sex. We are violently monogamous. Either one of us is a one and done if the other cheats. Not gonna happen because of our self boundaries we place on opposite sex interactions.

Just be cautious of the "never gonna happen" attitude as my ex and I were like that until she start talking to a financial planner\co-worker about my not making as much money as her. Eight months later she bailed out after almost 20 years together.. I'll let you fill in the details as they are just like anyone might imagine.