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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Last august my exwife broke my world. She told me she was in love with her brothers best friend. Months earlier i heard the whole ilubnilwu speech. I was suspicious of her from then. Yet she assured me no one else was invoved that "we had just grown apart". Time progressed. She would watch jerzy shore new episodes till three in the morning with her brother and this dude. Finally last august the truth came out. She told me she was in love with this man and he loved her. Our marriage was over she really loved this guy. He had more on me than 3 kids and 7 yrs of marriage together. My world was destroyed. I contemplated suicide. Almost went thru with it. I fought demons for months. I got back to me, i met a wonderful woman back in the spring. I waited months before she met my kids.the week before 4th of july she finally met them. They clicked immediatly. Time has gone by and has been wonderful. Today my exwife met my gf. It went well. Short and sweet. My girlfriend is beautiful and educated. I put this meeting off for a while. , i almost feel sorry for my ex. She left me for a single man with no kids. She has three with me. She really loved this man enough to throw a 7 yr marriage and 3 kids away. Obviously she was in a fog. He didnt want her. She lives with her mom with my kids half the week. We get along great. I will not let my kids reflect on their childhood with hostility and bs. I swallow my pride., im bigger than that. My gf feels bad and was apprehensive about meeting my exwife. I told her that u didnt create this life for me or my kids. You didnt end my marriage or have any part in it. I said "You swooped in and saved me".Im so in love with my gf. I wish my ex nothing but the best like adele said, lol.p
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Sounds like you came out of the fire with your head on straight.Good for you...your kids have a great role model!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I wonder what went thru my exes mind today when i finally introduced her to my beautiful gf. I told my exwife not long after begging to save my family "someones gonna love them some Mike, cause im a good man"
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Does your ex have any desire to get back with you?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
If she does she hides it very well. We go to kids sports events and everything is very respectful. No hint of remorse or wrong doing. Shes always been an emotionally cold person. My youngest son actually told my gf, that mommys dont play with kids, daddys do. Lol. My exwife was always so concerned with schoolwork she neglected kids. My gf gets on the floor n plays with my kids. They luv her and talk about n ask about her often. Her name rings bells at my exes house, thats why i felt they should meet
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank u! I appriciate it. I went to hell and back trying to save my marriage. I was 90% of what my exwife wanted. What people dont realize is u can always find something in someone else that u dont have. This other man had qualities that i didnt have, but no one is perfect. He may have had the 10% i didnt have. But i can gaurentee that he lacked 10% in another area. Ive done soooo much research on this subject, and people often think theres someone so much better out there. When my exwife left me i tried to tell her lifes not rainbows and sunshine all the time. You are trading one set of problems for another. I said this man has no kids, hes a bachelor. Do u really think a man not used to kids wants to take on 3? My exwife thought she was all that and a bag of chips. This dude wasnt beat. Now u have created a life where in all likely hood u will have to deal with stepkids because in all likelyhood most people that will be with you will have children of their own. I grew up with a step parent. Its not easy. So at the end of the day its one set of problems for another. Thats what u are trading, and u are also trading half ur childrens childhood. I miss half, as well as she does. Was it really worth it at the end of the day? I hurt for my kids. I see the pain in their eyes, i almost feel guilty or selfish for being so happy i have finally realized real love. I wish i had my kids with this woman. Being loved is amazing. I was complacent with insanity. I was so scared to lose someone that never loved me. It was almost like having a car reposed. U sometimes miss the car, but everyday u dont miss the payment
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Goodluck with everything mike.

Your stuffs sort of encouraging , sorta confusing still for me , only been a few mths. ln ways l still couldn't imagine finding someone else especially yet , although l have accidentally met someone , nothings happened yet , not even sure how she feels.

l told my ex all those things too , and we were just naturally always one of those rare couples , we had so much. lt just turned bad while we were struggling with getting a house and work sorted in a new area . All that was only temporary though , we were right now approaching the downhill run - made no difference to her .
She'd met someone else to , single , no kids , never been married. l found out later it was platonic too, just like she said .bet they were into it though as soon as l was sorted if not before.

I said to her u know we were once in a lifetime stuff don't ya , I wouldn't and you couldn't either ever expect to replace what we were . She said I know I'll never find us again but she still wanted out it was so bizarre.
Been 7 wks now and she sends a lot more text's to me and my daughter when I have her on the w/e than at the start. I know she's Bord already so l dunno what happened to mr platonic , maybe he stayed that way or had his fun and is back to platonic .
 

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Did he dump her ?

I'm sure your X is regretting but the pride is in her way to admit it !

Good job Mike !

Do you have a thoughts to get back with your X or is really done for you ?
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
They were never together. It was an emotional affair. She was so sure this guy wanted her and loved her. Once i blew the lid off of everything, it kind of died out. I dont think her very religous family liked the whole thing all to much. I let everyone know about what she did to me. And i mean everyone. I think its tough to carry one in a situation like that once everyones looking at u in a certain light. As for ever getting back together, no thanks. That **** almost killed me last yr. im not going thru it again. I didnt deserve it. I was good to my family. I was thrown out like trash. I tried so hard to hold it together and she could have cared less. She was so cold to me. I felt like i didnt even know her. The wonderful woman i married died long ago. Its almost like shes an accident victim who sustained serious head trauma. She still looks the same and walks around but shes not who she was all those yrs ago. Thats how i got thru it. I told myself that woman left and is never coming back. I told her last yr when i was devestated " i cant wait till i dont care, just like u dont. Ill get there oneday i told her. I also told her " im a good man someones gonna love them some mike, and now someone does.
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Big congrats Mike , if she was that way then to hell with anyone or any book or counselor , you did the right thing for you and karma came ur way.
Good on you mate , so so well done . Your over the worst and have someone new to love , f'n great stuff.

I usually have very accurate vibes on this stuff and just this last wk l'm feeling my wifes has backfired on her too'
lt's not only the extra text's all of a sudden , l just 'feel ' , this decision of hers will blow up in her face , l can't feel anyone long term for her , just don't feel it.
Course that might be wrong but l've just noticed the feeling coming in and that's usually how it works for me.

Problem for me is l felt her coming , l even knew when l'd meet her so l started doing all this stuff before l got tied down. Thing is l don't feel anything/one , coming to me either this time.

Really worried about that - stupid l know , way too soon to .
Funniest thing though , the girls/women have always loved me and l always get along really well with them but now l feel maybe my karmas due and l won't meet someone.
Was really looking forward to some serious partying seems as she through me this sh$t and this is where 18yrs and all sorts of sacrifices got me , realities hit now though and right now l don't even feel like it anyway. Just as well , not much on offer , ha ha.
 
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