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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been married for a little over 2 years and during those 2 years my husband was in his final 2 years of nursing school. It got really difficult at times but we managed to get through it. Now my husband works overnight as a nurse which is a tough schedule but we're making that work too.

What happened tonight is so ridiculous but I'm so mad about it at the same time.
My husband came up to me and said "Are my blue scrubs clean?" I said, "I'm not sure but I know I hung up some." The blue scrubs were still in the laundry basket and he said something like, "I would think after 4 days they would have been washed, they're the first thing that should be washed since they're so dirty from the hospital..." blah blah blah. I tell him all the time to put his scrubs right on top of the washing machine so that I wash them right away. I do 1-3 loads of laundry everyday so obviously they would get done if they were right on top. They were in a basket NEAR the washing machine that I didn't get to.
I'm happy doing the laundry since he works full-time.
I also work part time, take care of our son during the day, cook, do most of the cleaning and pack his lunch for work. I'm not perfect and I can't get EVERYTHING done. He helps a lot compared to a lot of men and I know he has a busy stressful job.
I started getting pretty upset about the way he approached it but he didn't think he approached it in a bad way. I shouldn't have gotten so angry but I felt like I was being attacked for not doing HIS laundry.
I told him that he's had the last 4 days off and has to stay up until at least 4am to keep his routine going, so why didn't he just throw the scrubs in the washer? He waited until an hour and a half before his shift to ask me about the scrubs.
The last 4 days he HAS helped out some but he's also played video games, watched tv, gone to the gym, gone to a movie and stayed up late not doing much at all. There's no need to put all of the blame on me when he had that much free time.
He doesn't usually do laundry but he could have at least checked if his clothes were clean and reminded me about it.
Just to make me mad he said "I'm leaving now and going to mcdonalds before work, bye." He did it on purpose because he knows how much I hate wasting money on fast food.
I said "no, your'e not...I just cooked dinner and it's ready." I was in the process of putting the food on his plate and he said, "that looks gross." Seriously? He ended up eating it and probably liking it, but it really hurt my feelings.
I'm definitely to blame some for getting an attitude and getting so upset but when I feel like I'm being attacked, I get defensive.
I know this is so ridiculous but I was wondering what other poeple's thoughts are on something like this?
Any advice would be great, thanks!
 

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Say something immediately. Don't let it eat at you or you will be seventeen years of it and want him to get run over (LOL). Seriously work this stuff out now to save you from being on this website when you are divorced. And no, you are not being ridiculous he sounds like a four year old.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I did say something and that was the problem. He refuses to take any blame for it. He DOES act like a 4 year old sometimes but a lot of the times he is very mature. He's only 24 years old and we've already been through a lot with school and having a little guy during then.
The fact that I said something right away wasn't a good idea, because I was so mad and acting on frustration and not logic.
He started saying I wasn't being a good wife and I'm horrible.
I was telling him that if he wants something done then do it himself and I said I wasn't going to do his laundry for a week and see if he likes it. He pulled the "I work to make all of our money" card. Yeah, well I do pretty much everything else and work part time.
Deep down he's a really good guy, but sometimes he can act like an arrogant fool. Now he's at work overnight probably still mad at me and he takes a while to get over things sometimes. Ugh...so frustrated still.
 

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Well attacking is never a good idea (and yes we all do it) but try saying we should come up with a plan that makes everyone happy. Life is hard and running a house, job and family makes it so much harder. When you both calm down remember you are a team and not enemies, if you love each other you will both figure out what makes you both happy, together. I wish I had said something in the beginning of our marriage but I let a lot slide and just let resentment build year after year until I literally couldn't stand being in the same room as him.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
That would definitely be a better way to approach it. It's always easy to see that in hindsight. We both just need to learn not to react in anger and take a minute to think about it before getting upset. Thanks for the advice.
I'm still extremely frustrated but I'm sure I will get over it. :)
 
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