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Discussion Starter #1
Sometimes one doesn't need to hear words spoken to know the truth. Just the look on a persons face and their actions speak 1000 words.

Just had a big disagreement with the wife a while ago.

I finally had enough of her antics and i told her that as long as she doesn't act like a wife i will not be there for her and not be a husband either.

Told her she acts like im not part of the family, like im a stranger. She of course denied it all.

We argued about the same stuff that has been repeated many times.

Well this time i told her, why now so much a change.

Why now you wanna text me and call me if a month ago she said she hated talking to me and didn't want to text or talk to me on the phone.

Why now she willing to leave her phone around and ask me to answer it if a call comes thru and she busy. Before it was stuck to her like glue.

Told her why now you tell me where you are going or what time you go into work and getting off, if a month or so ago you were secretive and would just walk out the door like i didn't exist.

Asked her why now you reach over to touch or hug me, if you had said you couldn't stand my touch.

I told her you changed overnight pretty quickly huh. Is it because you got dumped and thought the grass was greener on the other side, cause you must of being talking or seeing someone. Cause just like 1-2 weeks ago you treated me like I was invisible. And now you wanna act like nothing has been going on and now I am visible again.

The look i saw on her face once i said that told me more than words could say. Her face said it all that I have thought and wondered all these months.

Proof I couldn't find just appeared.
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Tell her I she really wants you to believe she's serious she needs to come clean and being honest abut what has been going on since early this year.
 

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Tell her I she really wants you to believe she's serious she needs to come clean and being honest abut what has been going on since early this year.

She ran off like she always does. She wants to be the only one to talk and be right but not anymore.

She's the type of person that no matter what happens or is said she is always in the right no matter if she is wrong.
 

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I never understood what gas lighting was until she did it today and I caught on to it. Now I see things even clearer than before. If it wasn't for TAM I wouldn't know anything a about it.
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Me too! It is a liberating feeling to see right through it is it not?...finally.

I am so appreciative of the education I have had over the last year. Been able to see right through it for about 3-6 months. Particularly the last 3. Is almost laughable.

And it helps when dealing with manipulators in all walks of life too. My step dad tried to accuse me and blame me for something he created. I wouldn't accept it. This was not usual. Our pattern is him being rude, me not accepting it, him then being personally critical, my mum following suit, and me backing down. Anyway, it escalated. My mum even turned on me too. But there was NO WAY I was going to accept any responsibility at all for something I did not create. AND I COULD SEE WHAT HE WAS DOING SOOO CLEARLY. IT WAS TRULY AMAZING. ENLIGHTENING. They both did their usual things, and after not speaking for about 3 weeks, my mum came to see me, tried to blame me again. Another week went by and she came over and actually said, finally, that she thinks my step dad was totally out of order! This is a first. A never!

So, you see, this place is just brilliant and priceless for that education. And I have said before, how I would never have learnt these skills, I would never have been here, without the help of my unloving, gaslighting, cheating lying man! So I thank him too :)

whatever don't kill us makes us stronger...never have I fully appreciated that sentence til right this minute as I write it.

I hope you see it as an improvement to your life too, no matter what the pain we had to go through in order to learn it.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Hey Brother, are you OK ??
Don't be doing the dark thing on me man.
Hey OLDWOLF57 hows it going ? Im doing very good :smthumbup:

Today this afternoon i leave for the men's ACTS retreat so i won't be back till sunday. Im excited and looking forward to going and coming home a new changed man. Finally the day has arrived and im ready to go.
 

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TAM people i will be leaving this afternoon for a men's church ACTS retreat and i will return sunday. I am going to the retreat with an open mind and open heart welcoming change.

My wife went to a women's retreat back in october and will maybe that's why she being different after all. Maybe i jump the gun to fast instead of taking the time to see things the right way.

I have noticed it little by little that she is kind of showing traits of her old self, the woman i dated and eventually married. She will walk up to me and hold a small conversation then i make a small joke and she will give me a hug (that makes me feel good). It may not seem like a big deal to some of you but to me it is because that shows me that the old her is still there i just have to chip away the rock covering her heart.

My heart tells me that if she is trying to be nice to me now and transparent that her actions seem sincere. I posted the thread about "EXPRESSIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS" after we had an arguement. But in reality it wasn't an arguement, i made it into an arguement because i did not want to take the time to hear and understand what she was explaining to me.

Yesterday she called me after work and asked me what hygiene items i needed for the retreat so she could buy them. I told her why she calling me if we just argued yersterday, She said im calling because i care and because i wasn't arguing with you, but that im the one that jumped the gun. And i will admit yes maybe i did for sometimes we as human's don't like to hear the truth.

Well im leaving to the retreat today with a more positive outlook in my life. I had lost considerably alot of weight back in february but up to now i have gained it back, i feel my normal self now, i feel i have gained my footing again and will continue to fight to show i am the leader of my family.

It has been a very rough year for me i will admit, but i believe i will start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel after i return from the retreat.

Wife starting to show me that she is putting effort to fix our marriage. She tells me where she is, texts me and calls me, asks what i want to eat, she doing things that she hadn't done in months.

Her saying that she didn't do anything that night maybe she is being honest. Her saying that she wasn't talking to no one up till now and she is just the way she is because of stressing financially for years where she has to take the load and just wants my help, could be true. I will admit for years i have not been there for my family financially because i was being selfish only thinking of myself.

But now i have realized the wrong i have done, that i was being an alcoholic and not worrying about my family.

That will be a thing of the past. I will return a better man, a better father and a better husband. I will not pass judgement on my wife till the facts are proven. Till this day i have no proof. So i need to stop with my thinking and live a righteous life with my family now.

No one can run from the truth for eventually it catches up to us no matter where we are or how many years have passed.

I will be leaving with a clear mind and no worries.

Thank you to all that have given me advice i appreciate it all.
 
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