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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
As some of you might remember, I mailed an exposure letter to OW's H last Monday, and he should have received it by now. I really expected a response ... from someone. Mostly I thought OW would call my H and come unglued.

I've heard nothing - is this a good thing?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I might mean she intercepted it. That's why I don't like doing this stuff by the mail since you don't know if it got through.

do you have a phone number to call?
I dropped it in the mail at the local post office and sent it to her husbands office - no way it could have been intercepted by her or my H.
 

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Did you send the mail certified so that only he could sign for it? Did you include a request for him to contact you so that you know if he received it or not? Any number of things could have happened:

  • OW already spun a story to her BH, telling him that a batsh!t crazy jealous woman may try to contact him and she's out to ruin her marriage, so he shouldn't believe anything coming from you
  • OWH is having his DDay as a result of your letter and is still processing things and may be in shock

Either way, you did the right thing. OWH deserves to know this information about what kind of woman he's married to and decide the course of his own marriage. And it helps kill the affair in many instances. Whether he contacts you or not is up to him.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
OWH knows about the relationship - no denying that. My letter exposed the depth of that relationship and that it was a PA - resulting in me contracting HPV. Prior to my diagnosis, both OWH and I were duped into believing there was no PC - duh, we should have known better.

Don't think mail room would have intercepted either - he's pretty high up on the totem pole and it's a business in a small community.

I'm really wondering if he just doesn't give a damn anymore. She's put him through hell - so maybe he didn't bother sharing it with her, figuring if she has the HPV and suffers because of it that it's deserved.

It's just driving me a bit crazy I guess - I was prepared for some sort of fall out - but, maybe I worried over nothing?
 

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Or he could be in shock and not ready to talk to you. Maybe he is doing some of his own PI work? Who knows, even though I think you did the right thing in sending the letter, this guy might need time to process everything, esp if he had no idea. Also to him your letter is not proof, but an accusation so he may need time to gather his own evidence. Plus I expect he is making a Dr. appt!

Hopefully you will hear something soon!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Guess I never thought of that - I'd be shocked if that were the case as OWH is an extremely devout Catholic - but anything is possible.

I did discover he has a FB account - I don't want to "friend" him, but I think I could "message" him and ask ... but should I? Or should I just wait and see if anything comes of this?
 

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Or, he may just be handling things "in house." When my W's first EA was initially exposed to me, OMW left her phone number in case I wanted to contact her. While I considered doing so, I never did. In 20/20 hindsight, I wish I had. No telling what information she might have given me. But, all water under the bridge now.
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Guess he could be out of town too - he does travel for work sometimes.
The same person who sent me an anonymous letter alerting me to the affair with photographs also sent a letter to the OW's husband. The photographs show them kissing. My husband finally admitted it was a PA, too, but said the OW claimed she would deny that it was a PA to her husband.

Through the grapevine I have heard that he still does not believe the letter is true.

The OW denied everything and he chose to believe her. She claimed my spouse was the pursuer, something I know not to be true. She told her husband there was no sex, only flirting and some kissing. This woman was a known serial cheater. She prior cheated with a good friend's spouse and they all socialized together with both Betrayed spouses clueless

I don't know why. He is well off and attractive and the OW my husband was seeing is not on a par with her husband. Her husband is better looking in my eyes.

So maybe, he thinks the letter is a joke?
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I'm sure he doesn't see it as a joke - but I'm not certain if he cares anymore. My H isn't the only one in town she's screwed, so I think in a way he's become numb. His good Catholic upbringing won't let him leave her, so he's turned a blind eye. Hell of a way to get to heaven, but to each their own I guess.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
No way - he knows me - I was his wife's best friend when she got involved with my H - there's nothing funny about it and he's aware that they were seeing each other. She told him they were "just friends" - my letter should have opened his eyes to the fact that they were much more than that - but, he may have already known it and that's why he's not responded.
 
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